Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML
Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I could never marry him because he's a Yankees fan. He told me he could never marry me because he couldn't see himself having a terrible love life for the rest of his life. He was serious. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for Halloween. He said "Single". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
HazzaBoo 3
Is he reading Twilight? :P hope not
toelie 26
Good riddance.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (298)
dasfro 2
So whats the problem? You were dating a freak.
Tragichero92 12
Now this FML is a fine example of Trolling at its finest.
ccoverup 5
Maybe he really is a vampire
laurapiggy 3
Buh bye crazy boy!!
roxstarpony 8
I'm surprised he didn't just eat you.
VampasarousRex 6
Let's be honest here... would you really want to date someone who thought they were a vampire anyway?
pmm3 0
Ok is that really all that bad? Now your not with dude who thinks hes a vampire
daps29 11
I think he took it to seriously
nachosbabygurl 9
tell team Edward. grow up lol realy Wat is he 5 n thinks he's a vampire find sum1 with a life n goals a lil more mature ur between than that
TastySexToys 6
uhh wow...