Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML
Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
Today, my boyfriend is still determined to find my kink. I keep telling him I don’t have one. Literally, I don’t. He isn’t forcing me to do anything physically but he won’t drop the subject. He keeps making all these different suggestions and expecting me to have some magical discovery or something. FML
Today, I walked out halfway through a much anticipated dick appointment because it became apparent that he thought my clit was located somewhere on my upper thigh. He kept rubbing it and moaning, "Oooooh, I bet you like that, baby." No, sir, I certainly did not. FML
Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML
Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
steve247 2
Try circling it with a sharpie?
orgasm_blush 4
Hmmm. How old are you guys I feel like that might play a big part in this.
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Comments (362)
MySinfulSorrow 0
You need to chill the hell out. At very least he is trying, so I don't see how this is fml worthy.
kareltje 17
He should watch some Californication :D
lonewolf5755 5
hold his head still and move your hips. you can control more than you evidently know. next you'll be bitching that he can't find your g spot.
swinglifeaway123 8
Honest to god question!!!; Where the **** IS that damn thing????
ikickgingers 15
Your caps makes me think you yell. You don't yell when you want something. You make nice-nice. You want good boom boom start being more appreciate of what he's doing and give him positive feed back instead of being a ****. Or wait until you hit 16 and try again.
ProhibitionRose 14
GPS might work better.
Jimboom 12
If he is a gamer then yes, a compass and map might help.. you could always turn it into a quest. ;-) You head north.. You encounter AROUSED ********. Fight, flee, flick or lick?
uj_fml 4
I didn't know fml had a personal shout out service.
niamah 11
Pressure to perform can lead to temporary loss of navigational ability
MyF_ckingLuck 0
you sound like a rude bitch, why are you being so mean to him about it? I bet if he yelled at you to do oral you wouldn't be so willing to learn. you sound too young for sex, keep your clothes on hooch
perdix 31
I wouldn't let him anywhere near that region with a compass. He doesn't need to draw any circles down there (at least not geometrically perfect ones), and that sharp point can be dangerous!
rcloca 10
Yep, never forget the "pointy tip!"
ikickgingers 15
Speaking on making a compass...
perdix 31
Of course, the mythological inventor of the compass would be aware of the safety issues. So would cute stalker chicks ;)