Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML
Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
Today, my boyfriend is still determined to find my kink. I keep telling him I don’t have one. Literally, I don’t. He isn’t forcing me to do anything physically but he won’t drop the subject. He keeps making all these different suggestions and expecting me to have some magical discovery or something. FML
Today, I walked out halfway through a much anticipated dick appointment because it became apparent that he thought my clit was located somewhere on my upper thigh. He kept rubbing it and moaning, "Oooooh, I bet you like that, baby." No, sir, I certainly did not. FML
Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML
Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
steve247 2
Try circling it with a sharpie?
orgasm_blush 4
Hmmm. How old are you guys I feel like that might play a big part in this.
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Comments (362)
lulzmylife 4
Try dating men instead of boys.
raborders1 3
He's probably still nervous. Be encouraging not intimidating.
scrocks1 0
Maybe he just can't keep u and the girl he's cheating on u with straight...
divadro102 16
It's right where? Here? Here? Here? Here? This **** look-alike? Here? There? There? Here? Where? Huh? What? Just suck mine, it's easier! Basically, in the pursuit of finding it, you get pleasure from it.
gigi03 5
Your bf is failure to society.
lolwtfwasthat 0
I could find it ;)
Freeze_fml 17
The compass wouldn't work unless you stay perfectly still facing a certain direction.
polocity 0
Tsss it's like he's an action hero or somethin
MoutainDrewski 0
maybe it's hidden by your fat flaps
neonberries 15
Are you definitely sure your boyfriend isn't a closet gay?