Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
Kinda sus, huh?
Today, my wife of 8 years bumped into my ex-girlfriend from 10 years ago. Despite having never met one another and no overlap in our dating, they both knew each other, but both acted like they didn’t. My ex proceeded to have an anxiety attack, and my wife played aggressive mind games with her. FML
Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Cool cool cool
Today, I saw my ex and his new girlfriend walking towards me. To make things less awkward, I tried to be cool and give him a high five. He misjudged and went for a fist bump. I ended up slapping his hand, and it felt like it lasted forever, all while she just smirked at me. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Overlap
Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend for the first time in two years with the guy she told me "not to worry about" and they were celebrating their 3-year anniversary together. FML
Top comments
Vekzzza 6
You deserved it for being a total wanker!!! Did you not see that she was with her husband?!
CrewBoy 10
She deserves it for cheating on her husband!
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Comments (180)
Vekzzza 6
You deserved it for being a total wanker!!! Did you not see that she was with her husband?!
CrewBoy 10
She deserves it for cheating on her husband!
pickles1994 18
Well if he did know he said that as a joke if he didn't know then she cheated :o
Vekzzza 6
Agreed, but even if she hadn't been cheating on her husband, op still would have deserved a punch in the head for speaking to her like that. It's totally inappropriate 5 years later.
Drigr 9
I thumbed you up just for using the word wanker. Being American, that word cracks me up
CrewBoy 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I feel like as a male it is our duty to inform other males if their woman is a cheating *****.
lilhellian 26
Guys reread the fml and do the math. She rode him 5 years ago, but she was having her 8 year anniversary. So she cheated on her husband with this guy. The husband does deserve to know.
CustardAndPie 13
#1, it's entirely possible that OP didn't even know she was married. He'd obviously been her bit on the side, at some point. OP may have acted like a douche on this occasion, but the ex-girlfriend is definitely the villain of this tale.
lilhellian 26
Also I'm curious why did op deserve to get restrained and arrested? He made a simple comment, was assaulted, and held against his will? Is the comment not free speach in anyway?
alissa222 15
We don't know if she HAD told her husband and they worked through it. A lot goes down in 5 years. OP had no right to be that disrespectful, cheating or not.
AlexxIV 3
Why was op being restrained? After he got hit in the face?
CrewBoy 10
As someone who's been cheated on I find it very hard to give the girl any sympathy at all.
ImaginaryFoe 0
I agree, #45. We don't even know for sure that she cheated. It's possible for people to have separations and reconciliations. There are also open marriages. Cheating certainly seems the most probable *but* it's not guaranteed that's what we happened. What we know for sure is that OP made himself look an utter fool in front of a woman he dated a long time ago. Everyone gets over relationships at their own paces but to be harassing an ex you're bitter about after this long is pathetic. OP, I don't know why the police came for you if you were assaulted but maybe take some time to evaluate your life while you're sorting out your legal troubles.
nix1993 41
Sure he's a dick, but this is the husband that she cheated on 5 years ago...
jillybee101 7
I agree what a piece of shit.
alycion 38
For all we know, they could have been separated five years ago and got back together. Probably not, but don't be so quick to jump on worst case scenario. ;)
lilhellian 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
139 That is considered cheating by some even tho they are seperated.
MDTeddy 13
Did someone not read her having an 8 year anniversary and cheated 5 years ago on whoever she married? Did anyone not noticed that? I may be reading it wrong, but I highly doubt it.
andrew6p 19
100% -35 even if its been 5 years, the woman here is a cheating *****. Op doesnt deserve That punch
knightgirl95 3
Can you not see that she cheated on her husband? Idiot.
syley 5
MDTeddy) 12 of the comments above you are about her cheating, you read the FML fine not the comments.
duke56924903 11
I mean, op was a douche, but I don't see that what he did means he deserves to be assaulted, restrained, and then arrested.
XxDevilxXGt 26
Along with being an asshole Op is also the man she cheated on her 8 year husband with. She probably regrets the mistake she made and obviously fixed the relationship with her husband. Way to bring the memory in her life again, and way to not move on and be a dick 5 years later. This can't be given a "ydi", this is a "gtfo" situation.
XxDevilxXGt 26
Unless of course the husband never knew, the you both can share the assholery(totally a word).
breathemein 10
So she had a husband when she was dating you? How could you have dated her 5 years ago when it's her 8 year anniversary with her husband.. ? Cheating?
TrailblazerSS 5
Yes... Try to keep up please.
iOceanus 18
People are really quick to point fingers and call names...
CunningCoyote0 1
Yes. But if they were going out for 5 years and she was on an 8 year anniversary...she is a cheater...!!!!
CrewBoy 10
He didn't knowingly help her cheat. And if she was keeping it from her husband then she deserves to have him bring it up. It isn't fair to keep that from your husband. He gets to decide whether to keep her or not. Not the cheater.
onlychildFTW 33
OP doesn't deserve it. She does for cheating. Haha. She's an idiot for cheating.
tjv3 10
MOVE ON man that is sad that you are still bitter after 5 years
the17doctor 12
How the hell did this comment get voted up? This girl dated him 5 years ago and he might a small quip about it. The result of this was getting punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. The fact that he got punched AND the police came for him is a joke. If the genders were reversed you can bet your ass that the guy that punched the girl would be getting arrested immediately. Yeah, it was bad cos she was with her husband, but how was he supposed to know that they'd been married 8 years?
darkgodxvx 4
While OP set themselves up to get smacked. The wife is a cheating whoore and her husband deserves to know... Douchebags are usually attracted to each other and they both seem to fit the bill. PS: #38 I god damn love custard... Best food EVER created. That is all.
mmorgan9218 5
probably didn't deserve the punch takin into account she cheated on her husband.. but dude, it's been 5 years. you're still bitter? really?
kyat288 9
#8 I totally agree... I don't understand why he got so many ydi's she did cheat on her husband and 3 years intothe marriage seems wayyy to soon to do shit like that!
hiandrews69 29
Vekzzza, obviously he was an ass for saying what he said, but she's still a bitch for cheating on her husband. Think about it... They broke up five years ago, but she's been married for eight? I'm surprised her shit didn't hit the fan sooner.
dantee2005 33
Speaks like a true cheater
foxy_grampa 19
It sounds to me like he had no idea she was married, since she had been married to him before OP and her had dated. So it isn't entirely his fault, since he likely didn't have a clue she had an affair with him
jellybear28 13
Well, you got punched for being a dick.
nemcali 34
Free speech does not give you the right to be rude or a twat -which he was- to other people. Yet, he can sue the husband for assault I guess.
amanda_smith54 4
You deserved it sorry
bestnameright 14
Not really, if she was his ex 5 years ago but married 8 years ago she must've cheated on him. That or the fml is it wasn't really his ex.
Classlfied 4
These people are both a mess. I wouldn't be surprised if an fml came out saying today I punched my brother at my 8 year anniversary.
buca100 4
You're an ass sorry.
Psych101 9
I'm confused... How does this FML have over twice as many YDIs as FYLs, but this comment still get thumbs down?
EyesofStone 27
I'm definitely not siding with the girl here because she cheated and cheating is wrong... But you do realize that OP is not a reliable narrarator? Naturally he's going to want to show himself in the best light possible, and it's entirely possible that that comment wasn't the only thing he did. Keep in mind that I'm not saying that this justifies him getting hit, just that if he got arrested, he probably did something that he can be arrested for.
coolboy675 16
184 - He wasn't arrested, he was restrained. Plus seeing that this is in America, the police have the legal power to detain someone for three days without a warrant, so it does not necessarily mean he had done something to warrant an detainment, rather the police suspected him of doing so.
allforyoux3 25
219, for one, the police don't always need a warrant to arrest someone in the US. Two, it is a prisoner's right to see a judge within 48 hours of his arrest, or he will be released because it's considered unconstitutional. And three, police can't arrest someone because they suspect them of having done something wrong. They have to have probable cause and proof of wrongdoing.
LolFMLnot 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It's been 5 years! Time to move on and get over it. But how can she have 8 years anniversary if she was dating you 5 years ago?
Psych101 9
3- You'll learn a lot about something called "cheating" if you read enough FMLs.
LolFMLnot 10
Sorry, I tried editing it, but I was too late. I realized later that she maybe cheated
kishuu_fml 1
Try have some kind of logic maybe? It's not rocket science.
KiddNYC1O 20
3- After I read your comment, I read your about me section. Gold. Lol.
fucking_dev 2
right? Haha like ..... you still have a husband after that?
CallMeMcFeelii 13
Hey now 29 he admitted his mistake. Yes it was pretty dumb on his part but he doesn't need 3 people telling him about it, especially after he said realized he made a mistake.
slimshadey 5
This could've been written a while ago
Nanael_fml 4
I don't know why you're getting negatives I totally agree with you. That awkward moment when they realize they're one of the idiots lmao
hatesfate 6
47 - so if it was written a year ago it would have been an ex of 6 years and an anniversary of 9... You have to move BOTH dates not just one...
sillyyanks 24
#36! PURE, SOLID GOLD! Now where is the capital comma?
LolFMLnot 10
#48 just because I made one mistake doesn't make me an idiot. I wrote the comment and was about to edit it, but I was too late. I am sure this have happened to many people in here. I admitted my mistake and moved on.
FeleciaIgnis 13
Probably was cheating on her husband.
Lores2101 5
The woman was a cheating ***** and deserves comments like that. Cheating on husband after at most 3 years being married. Op deserves a medal for calling her out on it to her husband who should be in jail for battery
slimshadey 5
57-if it was written a year ago then NOW it would've been 6 and 9 years. FML's are moderated and not all of them could be from this year.
Sirin_fml 46
Actually, we accept or reject each day's stories on the day that they're submitted.
CallMeMcFeelii 13
I wish there was a way to thumb up Sirin. ^ that's about as close as a thumbs up as I can get. Haha.
hatesfate 6
103 - thanks for saying the same thing that I said in response to you? I still don't get the point you're trying to make though
mara1223 5
Probably why he's bitter.
MDTeddy 13
So let me get this straight...the girl is a cheating ***** who loves riding dicks and Op never knew she was married as a certain **** didn't mention it because she wanted some dick or Op was hot and she wanted him even though she was married. This kinda makes an anniversary not seem as special as it should be. It is things like these you have to tell the person you married whether you want to or not. I wouldn't want to be with someone who cheated and I never knew. In fact, I would end the relationship or in this case get a divorce only because There shouldn't be a reason to cheat.
KiddNYC1O 20
76- What are you rambling about?
loopsy_fml 14
115- I agree, so I thumbed you up
Here4theshow 17
From reading this FML it's pretty clear OP is an asshole. Therefore, I'm almost glad she cheated on him or in this case used him as the side man!
klasklattermus 3
A cheating bastard?
Metthew 15
It's called "cheating on you husband".
Mahtari 19
Cheating *****; how else?
rureallyserious 2
Thats the point... He probably did not know that she was married when he was dating her...
itsgen 16
So wouldnt this be an fml for her , for getting caught ??
kdarkwood 15
Really? REALLY? She was a cheating slutbag, obviously!
imkool136 22
She was cheating on both of them. In which case I say go him because I would want to know if my wife of 8 yrs was cheating on me.
burnforeternity 30
He was "the other man" but he probably didn't know
Yoyo2002 10
cheating on her husband
nemcali 34
She was cheating on her husband with OP, hence the punch.
jaylaufers 13
YDI for being a dick.
CharresBarkrey 15
No, he was intentionally being a dick to her, not knowing she was married and her husband was there.
wyattshack 4
Op is an idiot
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Of course his remark was intentional, he did say "still bitter" But calling the girl out on her cheating wasn't intentional. He didn't know (I'm assuming) that a married woman was riding him 5 years ago.
1215116a 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hey nice going douchebag!
flutter4 7
She also sounds like a bitch for cheating on her husband with him
trivel64 16
5- Your profile picture goes along FLAWLESSLY with this
fuzz97 23
145 - please stop leaving comments like this
1215116a 14
114 I agree with that, unless he knew he was dating a married woman, but yeah she probably cheated on him. But geez, it's been five years, he should just ignore her.
AidenSurvival 7
I posted this FML comment on my BlackBerry and it said "anti-flood protection". I proceeded to make a new comment. Derpy moment. That man will never forget. Must've been the greatest lay in his life. /sarcasm
Kiki242 19
FYL for being cheated on but also YDI for saying something like that in the first place. 5 years dude time to let go.
xiaodoggiie 5
I think she was cheating on her husband with OP.
shellydawn78 0
Oops teach you to just expect she ever wanted to see your face again!
emeraldisle 30
Huh?
AKiDNamedJoHn 12
Wait, that means this girl cheated on her husband and OP with the other
fuzz97 23
Oh well, an eye for an eye. You revealed her cheating nature, so you got punched in the face. Seems fair enough
aleahlioness 15
Looks like you both ****** up...
doctorhook86 24
11: Yeah but the ****-ups are not of equal magnitude. The OP made a loser comment like a dink, but the ex-gf cheated on her husband of three years; that kind of betrayal is contemptible.
aleahlioness 15
68: Oh, I agree.