Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML
Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
Today, my boyfriend is still determined to find my kink. I keep telling him I don’t have one. Literally, I don’t. He isn’t forcing me to do anything physically but he won’t drop the subject. He keeps making all these different suggestions and expecting me to have some magical discovery or something. FML
Today, I walked out halfway through a much anticipated dick appointment because it became apparent that he thought my clit was located somewhere on my upper thigh. He kept rubbing it and moaning, "Oooooh, I bet you like that, baby." No, sir, I certainly did not. FML
Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML
Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
steve247 2
Try circling it with a sharpie?
orgasm_blush 4
Hmmm. How old are you guys I feel like that might play a big part in this.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (362)
matt120784 0
Well you sound like a bitch. I wouldn't want to pleasure you either.
Ospov 9
This is a stupid FML. Moderator fail.
perdix 31
Give him a GPS, a Gorged Pussy Signal. You should be happy he's in the area. With some guys it's blow jobs and *******, so they don't really need to have detailed knowledge of what's "down there."
ShealaBoBayla 0
You're being a lil insensitive
taternuts 0
Maybe you shouldn't get disabled people to muck your barn. I'm assuming he's blind or retarded if this is a reoccurring problem
hungryhippo432 1
I love your name!
ShealaBoBayla 0
Being how mean you were to him I think you DEFINITELY deserve it!
FYlife604 18
someone needs to get laid!! lol
X3liteXHunterX 12
She sounds like a bitch.
fre12 0
Then don't have sex, easy as that
darkmis1 18
This is horribly worded.