Intimacy, Sex, Relatable and Awkward: Dick appointment

Dick appointment

By Anonymous - 20/10/2020 21:01 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I walked out halfway through a much anticipated dick appointment because it became apparent that he thought my clit was located somewhere on my upper thigh. He kept rubbing it and moaning, "Oooooh, I bet you like that, baby." No, sir, I certainly did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 278

Intimacy Sex Relatable Awkward

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Not going so well, is it?

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 07:54 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 116

You deserved it 10 094

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 17:16 - United States - Surprise

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 162

You deserved it 4 295

By sammy18f - 24/02/2015 03:46 - United States - Brentwood

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 091

You deserved it 3 778

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 06:00

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 1 122

By Sugao - 10/12/2008 07:48 - France

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 049

You deserved it 7 622

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 10:34 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 511

You deserved it 15 205

Let down

By Anonymous - 23/12/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I visited a friend out of state. We've been flirting for months and decided to fool around at night. He was very loving and attentive, but... he'd bragged about his dick being 6 inches and it ended up being not only thin, but very short. So thin and short that I couldn't really feel it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 364

By Joel_28 - 01/03/2010 00:33 - Canada

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 484

You deserved it 20 664

It's not what you think

By Redfaced - 15/05/2013 16:54 - United Kingdom - Walsall

Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting, because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 772

You deserved it 11 766

Found it

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 20:01

Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 781

You deserved it 422

bobsanction 18

Wednesday 21 October 2020 6:11

And.... you didn't try correcting him? No wonder your sex sucks, you're awful at communicating.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 21 October 2020 5:06

Dick appointment? I'm making a note of that phraseology. "Date" is starting to sound, well, dated.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 21 October 2020 5:06

Dick appointment? I'm making a note of that phraseology. "Date" is starting to sound, well, dated.

bobsanction 18

Wednesday 21 October 2020 6:11

And.... you didn't try correcting him? No wonder your sex sucks, you're awful at communicating.

Cocoapelli 23

Wednesday 21 October 2020 6:27

There’s only so much you can communicate in an evening... op was right to cut her losses.

Cocoapelli 23

Wednesday 21 October 2020 6:28

There’s only so much you can communicate in an evening... op was right to cut her losses.

malicemassacre 18

Wednesday 21 October 2020 8:22

Communication is key for a healthy and amazingly amazing sex life

core01 30

Thursday 22 October 2020 5:00

Now we have to give anatomy lessons to men??

bobsanction 18

Thursday 22 October 2020 5:28

Takes literally two seconds. If you aint got two seconds to communicate you deserve bad sex.

Shzusuziq 16

Wednesday 21 October 2020 14:49

You could have grabbed his hand and moved it where you wanted it!

xxlk4xx 6

Wednesday 21 October 2020 16:21

was it dark in the room? I know sometimes my hubby will rub the wrong area thinking that's where he is supposed to be lol, I just relocate him to the correct area🤣 if it was light and he could see what he was doing then I still probably would have been like "sir, you need to be over here" also the term "dick appointment" made me laugh haha

icalledhisname 12

Wednesday 21 October 2020 18:09

So many men do this. It’s crazy. Basic anatomy, explaining to him where it is is like explaining where an ear is. I get it that we should educate our partners, but teaching things like that shouldn’t be necessary. All he had to do was take a look...