By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 18:39 - Australia - Perth

Spicy
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 649
You deserved it 4 432

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

Reminds me of the FML where the girl pees when the boyfriend touches her in the belly button.

Is your boyfriend sixteen?

Comments

At least you'll get more acquainted with his fingers ;)

No, I bet she'd rather not have any action at all if he were to continually do that.

16: Why? She'd give up sex to avoid queefing? That's stupid.

I always giggle when that happens but for some reason, the girl never laughs too....

You're not a girl. Queefing would be embarrassing as hell. If she doesn't get embarrassed about it, then I applaud her. But my best guess is many many girls would be extremely embarrassed. And when people get embarrassed, it's common to best avoid the situation.

Hey you don't think guys get embarrassed when a girl is going down on us and we get relaxed and accidentally throw a fart. Most guys would probably start laughing, but gents like myself feel bad about it.

Yes, I agree with you 100%, it is embarrassing for both... but the girl queefed, not the boy. When guys fart, they laugh and joke about it with their friends, disregarding gents such as yourself. But girls are totally different when it comes to that.

I was just trying to look at the positives here...

48: Ok, I apologize. I generalized a bit too much. But the majority of women are quite embarrassed by farting though their ass and if not, more by their vagina.

#47 I see where you're coming from, but girls or anybody shouldn't be embarrassed about their body.

53: What? I'm not talking about body appearance. I'm talking about some things we as humans have that unfortunately we can't control, such as farting or queefing. It's natural and very difficult to control. It's like pissing in your bed, more or less... many kids can't control that and it is embarrassing. We don't have control over somethings in our bodies and occasionally fear it might get out of our control. In this case for a women or OP, queefing. She can't control it... and if she could, best guess is she wouldn't want to do it.

I think it ia unnatural to be embarrassed by queefing, especially in front of your boyfriend. Just my opinion.

I would drag my duck through a mile of glass just to hear you queef through a walkie talkie

#57 I wasn't talking about body appearances. I was talking about how our bodies react differently to certain things, which we still shouldn't be embarrassed about that. But you're right and I gladly surrender my point of the argument.

Anyone else thinking about South Park while reading the FML or these comments? Lol

57- I completely understand where you are coming from...I don't know why they don't get it though. The furs

(sorry new phone) The first times with the boyfriend are embarrassing as hell. And I completely understand to keep up the whole "girls dont fart thing" so yeah. Sorry. :/

Imagine you're getting intimate and you suddenly fart through your penis, let's see how embarassed you are then.

Lol, I could've just said that. Nicely put!

Poor duck that belongs to 63!

57 - XPetrova, shut the fuck up already. Everybody's body makes sounds. Someday, y'all will get over it. It's like the children's book, Everybody Poops.

#83 We do accidentally fart through our penis when we get intimate with girls, its just a liquid substance comes out when that happens.

I don't think queefing should be embarrassing if you're comfortable with your partner. If it's a new relationship I can see why it might be embarrassing, since you're still really self conscious around each other. But once you've been having sex for awhile you realize things like that happen sometimes and it's best to just ignore them and keep going. No sense ruining the mood over something you can't control.

96 - In an ideal world, yes. But I've been with my boyfriend for three years, and I always dissolve into uncontrollable giggles (my response to being super embarrassed about something) and feel intense self-disgust on the occasion that it does happen. ... Man, girls are weird. And sex is weirder.

67- oh my god! She just queefed on my face!

I see the "ladies should be ashamed of their bodily functions" crowd is out in full force today. Y'all are ignorant and backward. Downvote me if you want, that doesn't make your argument less idiotic. A queef is just air. It's not even methane gas like a fart. A queef is literally just an expulsion of air that had gotten into the vagina (typically during sexual activity, but not necessarily). It doesn't even smell unless it comes out of a smelly pussy. There is literally no reason to be ashamed of a queef unless you're also ashamed of your vagina... and there's no reason to be ashamed of that either.

I read that last comment in a Samuel Jackson voice. Couldn't help it and it almost fit perfectly into something he'd say.

108: You're damn straight, motherfucker. Thanks! PS: I just wanna add a comment about something that wasn't clear enough in my previous post: #103 was meant squarely for the bullshit fountain of oppressively sexist stupidity that XPetrova contributed to this thread.

XPetrova had barely any sense. Like doctorhook86 said, queefing is not a bodily function, simply air escaping. Before ruining a perfectly fine comment thread, please educate yourself in the subject first, XPetrova. Have a nice day.

Uhm... that's why I got quite a few thumbs up from those who supported my comments. Then again, you're just another guy trying to convince that girls queefing is just a bodily function. That wasn't my argument. I was arguing that that bodily function is just embarrassing. And a few people have supported my comments. So I suggest you go and get yourself more aware of how girls feel about certain things before making such bizarre conclusions stating I should educate myself. I was talking on behalf of my gender. That's it. End of thread. End of discussion.

Ahh afraid to be proven wrong. Common mistake of a discussion. I'm not saying it's wrong to feel awkward about the body and it's countless functions; I mean, who wants to know what happens in the digestive process? But queefing is not a bodily function, there is no body process that causes bursts of queefing. Just admit that it's air and not a vaginal methane, would save you from social discrimination, thanks.

i can queef on command and im never embarassed by it when im with my boyfriend. lmfao.

115: Congrats on all your upvotes. It's a shame that they still don't mean you're not completely wrong. The only reason women (and only some women) are embarrassed about their queefs is that fools like you keep telling them that queefing is something to be embarrassed about. It isn't, and saying that it is amounts to saying that women should be ashamed of a function of their bodies. Should women be ashamed of menstruation too, XPetrova? Take some responsibility for the sexist messages you're sending to the teenage girls who are reading your comments. Also, FYI: It's not a sign of maturity to declare a discussion over because you don't like to be disagreed with. Feel free to respond.

Thank you doctorhook86. Well XPetrova, you were proven wrong by an adult male and 16 year old male (No, i'm not sexist, didn't want another bullshit term for you to throw at me.) Popularity does not amount to anything if you're trying to prove a "valid" point. It's like this is a political election to you, go to Facebook, Twitter etc. if you're looking for popularity.

To XPetrova. Please try to see the other side of a person's opinion. It doesn't make your opinion seem any more just than the other party's; it makes you seem ignorant and asshole-ish. So please, respect other peoples' opinion viewpoint next time? I am sorry to be hostile, but seeing hostilic activity will just draw in more hostility, as I have just done myself. The theme of my message is just understand other's viewpoints before assaulting them and saying their wrong.

#103 you are right!

I don't know about you but queef sounds make me laugh every time they happen. Lighten up a little and have a little fun with your sex life.

There's a difference between having fun and weirdness. Trying to make fart sounds with your girlfriends body in bed is kinda odd.

It's probably funny yeah, but if she's trying to be romantic and it's killing the mood it'd just be irritating :(

Especially the "road warrior" from South Park lol gets me every time

Is your boyfriend sixteen?

This is a dumb question, who cares what his age is, it's funny.

More like 13...which also wouldn't surprise me.

Yeah he is ...

That was to 4 btw

Let the hands do the talking.

OBJECTION! Fingers.

I really enjoy your comments 39 :D

The defense will hold you to this statement.

Tell him to stop if you don't like it!

No means no! Unless you're a sloth.

54- so, what does no mean to a sloth?

It means you can have me if you speed your ass up and catch me

Reminds me of the FML where the girl pees when the boyfriend touches her in the belly button.

Yes really, think about it.

7: Reminds me of the FML where the girl queefs when the boyfriend rubs her clit with the tip of his dick during doggy-style... ...because its practically the same.

Maybe it's the same girl. O_o

95: Maybe it's the same boyfriend.

Well I hope fingering wasn't the entirety of your love life.

It would be truly tragic if he made you queef just as you were about climax.

Is that like dividing by 0?

He can only do that if you give him access to your vagina. If you cut off all access, he'll get the idea soon enough.

What if she wants to have sex though? Maybe this is all a plot of his to get anal....

unknown_user5566 26

15- Sex is still doable (no pun intended) if OP was still in the mood, since it sounds like this is only an issue when he uses his fingers. She would just need to skip the finger-bangin', and go straight into the real deal.

20- true I see my flaw. I was thinking he could still quickly stick his finger in though and in anal she might cover herself in front... Now that I think about that it seems crazy though.

If it comes to it, she can use a vibrator. As long as she remembers the battery pack.

Spoken like a true medical professional. You should thank DocBastard before he charges.

That would be like taking a guitar from Hendrix.

Because it's funny and strange for us guys