Today, my boyfriend endearingly told me that he's been taking advantage of my inability to smell due to a head cold, and he's been farting around me whenever he pleases. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML
Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, during an argument that he couldn't win, my boyfriend farted in a glass, covered it with his hand, ran to me, and let it go it right in front of my nose. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
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Top comments
matthewcald 14
At least he is nice enough to do it when you can't smell.
kinky44 28
I know you can't smell it, but what kept you from hearing it? Surely he isn't a master of silent farts.
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Comments (47)
matthewcald 14
At least he is nice enough to do it when you can't smell.
SWhimsynBubbaS 14
That's true... Guys, take notes. This boyfriend knows what he's doin'!
mif_fml 27
If it is a serious relationship, you might as well get used to it.
sweetbliss3 37
why can't he do it when she can smells? it's a fart. it's normal. it's not like he's ******** on her or anything.
JuliaaNoelle 26
They could be in a fairly new relationship so they could be just getting over that awkward stage of not farting in front of each other.
0ss 12
I say OP should take advantage of her current absence of smell and fart around him. She wont smell it but he sure will.
sayyestothedress 24
You should take advantage of his stupidity and convince him that he's an alien or something like that
joeyl2008 29
Where is the stupidity? and why is it a big deal anyway? If she can't smell it why does it matter?
kinky44 28
I know you can't smell it, but what kept you from hearing it? Surely he isn't a master of silent farts.
kost4060 14
After a while you learn to do it without even trying
Rawrshi 25
But... you can still hear it. Usually.
Helpfulman 17
I don't see how this is an FML.
hard_candy 25
you can't smell it. i don't see a problem here. at least he doesn't do that when you CAN breathe.
BSnapZ 21
I'm pretty sure she can still breathe...
abocz 12
I don't think that this should be a fml. Just buy air freshener
PennyLane27 32
You can't smell it, but you KNOW it's there... lingering....
whatafuckup 14
If you can't smell it then why crib?
devildog562 33
If you can't smell it or hear it then it isn't a problem. Do you do his laundry and there are skid marks ? That would be a problem.