By anonymous - 20/03/2012 22:33 - Canada - Saint John's

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 276
You deserved it 3 993

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Send him a queef and you'll never hear from him again.

Just stop listening to the sound clips he sends you! Delete them as you receive them... As for your boyfriend's immaturity, that's a harder problem to fix.

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Just stop listening to the sound clips he sends you! Delete them as you receive them... As for your boyfriend's immaturity, that's a harder problem to fix.

That's no fun! Sometimes immaturity Is fun. I'd respond with pictures of myself gasping in disgust and eventually passing out from the toxicity. :P at least you're not really smelling them. :)

I would agree if it was one or two farts, but 5 is pushing it!

you are a downer

Why does everyone think they're better than everyone else lately?? He's probably not that immature, just a really bored guy haha. There's no reason to be rude to your boyfriend... Even if he is being gross.

Holy crap.. I don't believe there is actually a down to earth girl on FML that doesn't straight out say "dump him"... #16 takes the girlfriend material cake!

I like your cat picture :)

Reeeeowww! I like your picture too :)

You inspired me to change mine haha

Room for one more?

shitty cucumbers

I don't think this is one of those times. Unless both people find fart noises funny it is the type of immaturity best avoided.

44- I like yours the best! Haha

I was sending voicemails BEFORE it was cool

One, two, three, four, I declare a fart war!!

Send him a queef and you'll never hear from him again.

I'll be one to say, toilet humour is funny. It'a a humour that will never die out. Though, queefs? That's just disgusting. Reminds me of the Family Guy episode where Stewie and Meg are farting away in the bath tub, bubbles then come from the front of Meg, and Stewie runs away screaming. There's a reason for that. Lol.

20 - nice double standard.

you could always fart into a bottle (I like gatoraid, doesn't taint the smell) and save it until he comes home, when its all rotten and stanky

20 - a queef is no different than the farting noise you make with your armpit and hand. It is just trapped air.

38 - that emits from a VAGINA. And if they have a bad odor, that queef gonna stink. How would you like a fish fart from the front bum?!

I am not one to get hung up when guys fart. A lot of the time it is funny. But for you to say queefs stink blah blah blah. Have you smelt yourself when you fart? That's not roses that comes out of your ass several times a day guys. Besides queefs are harder to control than farts and how many times have you actually heard it once maybe twice in your life? I am not mad I just wonder why some guys expect women to always have complete control of their body.

I completely agree. On my bus(I'm fourteen) all the guys talk about farting and if one girl makes any sort of gross sound they're teased about it. It really sucks being stuck with people that are so immature each day. Double standards suck.

I lost the game

Good way to start a farting competition when your not with each other in person

OP should look at this as a bonding experience. Years down the line when they start drifting apart because he'll hide all his problems and concerns and let them build up all because he felt embarrassed to be open with her because she rejected his attempts to strengthen their bond, she'll look back and regret not embracing his flatulence and requiting it with her own.

13- this has nothing to do with 3's comment.

34- Actually, it does, since he suggested a farting competition which is the bonding experience I mentioned. However, you being an uneducated dipshit has nothing to do with either comment.

I agree. I wish my boyfriend would fart in front of me. I hate that we're not at that point in our relationship were we don't have to be embarrassed by bodily functions. Besides, I fucking hate holding mine in.

Lol I've told some1 that before hahaha

Sent him a sound clip of you on the toilet taking a number two. Guarantee no more fart messages!

This is the Internet, man! Anonymity gives you freedom to swear if you want! Fuck shit balls ass tit cunt Enjoy the freedom now, while the web is still an untamed frontier

I'm pretty sure that will make him want to break up with her

Atleast he wasnt sitting on the toilet during all of this

You know this how?

just delete them, and ignore him until he stops.

Op, you should do the right thing and declare a fart war ;)

Which is all fun and games until somebody sharts.

And then they have a doody fight?

But ladies don't fart, they poot.

I'm on the toilet right now, buddy. Doing things 'women cant do'

Wow.. When I first discovered this I immediately started saying little love quotes to her. Not disgusting fart noises..

You must be quite the romantic, ninjaboy.

Gaaaay!!!! ..... I'm so lonely

How romantic! I wish my man did that for me... mine just tells me he loves me and buys flowers all the time... asshole!

What the hell is wrong with you!?

Hers does that too... Which means that her bf is more diverse and cooler than yours. Your sarcasm sucks.

It seems pretty obvious that she is being sarcastic.

Your my new hero! I've always said that farts are an aphrodisiac to women! Hehehehe

Yeah I was just kidding people. It was a joke.. ha ha ha.

*New Message* Subject: Wet One