Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML
Add a comment - Reply to : #
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account
Sign in
Top comments
By
perdix
| 29
Send him a queef and you'll never hear from him again.
By
MellyBee
| 9
Just stop listening to the sound clips he sends you! Delete them as you receive them... As for your boyfriend's immaturity, that's a harder problem to fix.
COMMENTS
By
MellyBee
| 9
Just stop listening to the sound clips he sends you! Delete them as you receive them... As for your boyfriend's immaturity, that's a harder problem to fix.
Reply
lilikawaii
| 6
That's no fun! Sometimes immaturity Is fun. I'd respond with pictures of myself gasping in disgust and eventually passing out from the toxicity. :P at least you're not really smelling them. :)
Reply
MellyBee
| 9
I would agree if it was one or two farts, but 5 is pushing it!
Reply
lewk908
| 13
you are a downer
Reply
beccaishereyay
| 11
Why does everyone think they're better than everyone else lately?? He's probably not that immature, just a really bored guy haha. There's no reason to be rude to your boyfriend... Even if he is being gross.
Reply
CareFace
| 16
Holy crap.. I don't believe there is actually a down to earth girl on FML that doesn't straight out say "dump him"... #16 takes the girlfriend material cake!
Reply
beccaishereyay
| 11
I like your cat picture :)
Reply
CareFace
| 16
Reeeeowww! I like your picture too :)
Reply
beccaishereyay
| 11
You inspired me to change mine haha
Reply
RussianFox
| 13
Room for one more?
Reply
Jonkbaby
| 19
shitty cucumbers
Reply
alfred07
| 18
I don't think this is one of those times. Unless both people find fart noises funny it is the type of immaturity best avoided.
Reply
beccaishereyay
| 11
44- I like yours the best! Haha
Reply
blegehlehgleh
| 0
I was sending voicemails BEFORE it was cool
Reply
killerkiss92
| 8
One, two, three, four, I declare a fart war!!
By
perdix
| 29
Send him a queef and you'll never hear from him again.
Reply
CareFace
| 16
I'll be one to say, toilet humour is funny. It'a a humour that will never die out. Though, queefs? That's just disgusting.
Reminds me of the Family Guy episode where Stewie and Meg are farting away in the bath tub, bubbles then come from the front of Meg, and Stewie runs away screaming. There's a reason for that. Lol.
Reminds me of the Family Guy episode where Stewie and Meg are farting away in the bath tub, bubbles then come from the front of Meg, and Stewie runs away screaming. There's a reason for that. Lol.
Reply
nebula748
| 14
20 - nice double standard.
Reply
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml
| 14
you could always fart into a bottle (I like gatoraid, doesn't taint the smell) and save it until he comes home, when its all rotten and stanky
Reply
miserypoison
| 13
20 - a queef is no different than the farting noise you make with your armpit and hand.
It is just trapped air.
It is just trapped air.
Reply
CareFace
| 16
38 - that emits from a VAGINA. And if they have a bad odor, that queef gonna stink.
How would you like a fish fart from the front bum?!
How would you like a fish fart from the front bum?!
Reply
rubberduckie94
| 13
I am not one to get hung up when guys fart. A lot of the time it is funny. But for you to say queefs stink blah blah blah. Have you smelt yourself when you fart? That's not roses that comes out of your ass several times a day guys. Besides queefs are harder to control than farts and how many times have you actually heard it once maybe twice in your
life? I am not mad I just wonder why some guys expect women to always have complete control of their body.
life? I am not mad I just wonder why some guys expect women to always have complete control of their body.
Reply
sk8ergirl553
| 0
I completely agree. On my bus(I'm fourteen) all the guys talk about farting and if one girl makes any sort of gross sound they're teased about it. It really sucks being stuck with people that are so immature each day. Double standards suck.
Reply
iceman420son
| 7
I lost the game
By
Dnigz13
| 4
Good way to start a farting competition when your not with each other in person
Reply
deadbabies
| 0
OP should look at this as a bonding experience. Years down the line when they start drifting apart because he'll hide all his problems and concerns and let them build up all because he felt embarrassed to be open with her because she rejected his attempts to strengthen their bond, she'll look back and regret not embracing his flatulence and requiting it with her own.
Reply
beccaishereyay
| 11
13- this has nothing to do with 3's comment.
Reply
deadbabies
| 0
34- Actually, it does, since he suggested a farting competition which is the bonding experience I mentioned. However, you being an uneducated dipshit has nothing to do with either comment.
Reply
RoseTintMyWorld
| 8
I agree. I wish my boyfriend would fart in front of me. I hate that we're not at that point in our relationship were we don't have to be embarrassed by bodily functions. Besides, I fucking hate holding mine in.
Reply
Dnigz13
| 4
Lol I've told some1 that before hahaha
By
bchatzis
| 9
Sent him a sound clip of you on the toilet taking a number two. Guarantee no more fart messages!
Reply
Mister_Triangle
| 21
This is the Internet, man! Anonymity gives you freedom to swear if you want!
Fuck shit balls ass tit cunt
Enjoy the freedom now, while the web is still an untamed frontier
Fuck shit balls ass tit cunt
Enjoy the freedom now, while the web is still an untamed frontier
Reply
apollo16
| 6
I'm pretty sure that will make him want to break up with her
By
chris36taylor
| 2
Atleast he wasnt sitting on the toilet during all of this
Reply
GVirdi
| 11
You know this how?
By
behindtheseaaa
| 0
just delete them, and ignore him until he stops.
By
NippsSlipps
| 10
Op, you should do the right thing and declare a fart war ;)
Reply
perdix
| 29
Which is all fun and games until somebody sharts.
Reply
NippsSlipps
| 10
And then they have a doody fight?
Reply
thischick1659
| 1
But ladies don't fart, they poot.
Reply
NippsSlipps
| 10
I'm on the toilet right now, buddy. Doing things 'women cant do'
By
ninjaboy18
| 6
Wow.. When I first discovered this I immediately started saying little love quotes to her. Not disgusting fart noises..
Reply
Schizomaniac
| 24
You must be quite the romantic, ninjaboy.
Reply
Mister_Triangle
| 21
Gaaaay!!!!
..... I'm so lonely
..... I'm so lonely
By
MEM0817
| 18
How romantic! I wish my man did that for me... mine just tells me he loves me and buys flowers all the time... asshole!
Reply
archenemybtch
| 0
What the hell is wrong with you!?
Reply
cgchamp89
| 7
Hers does that too... Which means that her bf is more diverse and cooler than yours. Your sarcasm sucks.
Reply
alfred07
| 18
It seems pretty obvious that she is being sarcastic.
Reply
p_syko
| 5
Your my new hero! I've always said that farts are an aphrodisiac to women! Hehehehe
Reply
MEM0817
| 18
Yeah I was just kidding people. It was a joke.. ha ha ha.
By
Krirn
| 21
*New Message* Subject: Wet One