Stuff the goose in his ass and dump him.

Or, 1, she could just talk to him. Or the goose. Anything other than shoving an inanimate object up her boyfriend's ass is what we're shooting for, here.

She can't dump him after he has already dumped her...

Ah, you're right. I think you were talking to 1, but even I just zoomed past the sentence where she said he dumped her. Derp. xD

Leave the man and his goose alone. Maybe he's had it for a long time.

.... Maybe he's been insane for a long time too

AFLACK!!! :D

Jeremy Lin.

^WTF???

87 - Jeremy Lin has nothing to do with the FML, fanboy.

Oh sorry 15.. Should have made it a little clearer.

By stating his age you've implied he's being childish, just making it even clearer that you don't understand the bond between him and his goose. YDI!

87-WTF does Jeremy Lin have to do with the FML or comments u commented on?

that's a reason to dump someone ?

As weird as it is for a 36 year old male to be that attached to a stuffed animal, it's still important for a significant other to be understanding and accepting of the things that are important to him. Although dumping someone over a stuffed animal is a bit extreme. Either he was looking for any excuse to get out of the relationship (and wasn't man enough to just say it wasn't working), or there's some psychological issues to be worried about. Either way OP is probably better off. She can find a man more suited to her.

I know right? If he's willing to dump you over that I'd say he's a bit of a loon...

65 - Pun intended?

the reason he dumped her is because she wouldn't "play" goose for him.

Op should have just played "duck, duck, goose" but seriously, fyl op for having to be with someone that immature, his loss, not yours!

Are you sure he's 36 and not 6?

I'd dump someone if they didn't like my stuffed goose too! Don't you know what trials and tribulations men go through to get the Grand Mof to give us one? We're talking years of dedication, pain, and tears! Don't EVER put down the goose... Or put the goose down, down... Wtf was I saying?

Just get a stuffed giraffe to make him jealous.. He'll come back to you

That's a joke. I hope you haven't been dating a while because that's ridiculous ! We all know it's the stuffed bears that matter..

Smh..... I see you along the same lines as Op's ex. Except yours will be a stuffed bear.

Nope. Chuck Testa. How exactly does he stuff this goose?

I usually find your stuff hilarious.... This one I don't get.....

Then I'd search "nope, Chuck Testa"

Wow dude your joked are shitty

Jokes*

I dont understand how Chuck Testa is even remotely funny :|

#33, #66, Chuck Testa is a taxidermist who boasts that he makes the most lifelike stuffed animals. If there was ever an FML that warranted a Chuck Testa reference, this is it!

Perdix I have 0 clue on why you got thumbed down. I thought this was perfect for a Chuck Testa reference as well :)

Best EVAR.

perdix. Stuffing was just a metaphor for him "goosing" the goose. What? Too much?

Thank you for explaining

Is it that hard to spell ever?

115 - Grammar, bitch. :3

Never come between a man and his stuff animals

It must be woman rating me down

Lol

Sometimes I am sad that evolution seems to skip some people. On the bright side OP, you can now strenghten the bond between you and your vibrator.

Evolution isn't going from being attached to a stuffed goose to not being attached to a stuffed goose. He clearly just has some mental issues.

im guessing the bond is they're on the same intellectual level?

Respect the goose man respect the goose

You're better off breaking up now before you find the room where he keeps his stuffed wives and hookers.

....wait. The Chuck Testa comment got thumbed down, but this one is okay? :P I don't understand fmlers' logic.

Me neither. I'm probably getting thumbed down just for saying this.

If you don't understand, why must you post your lack of intellect? Is your comment count that low to require deep responses to good FMLers like perdix? Oh and perdix; you forgot the stuffed high school crush;)

57 How's perdix's ass smell?

#62, sometimes it smells like Irish Spring, and other times, not nearly as nice (especially when I run low on cotton balls). I'm not sure why you wanted to know, butt there it is.

Perdix, You do realize that... 1. Jokes aren't funny when one has to google the punch line to understand it. 2. Jokes aren't funny when the tellers area of knowledge is wider than the recipient. 3. Jokes aren't as funny when you have a short....., SQUIRREL!!!!

#90 go back to watching cartoons..

If anyone tries to get between me and my stuffed teddy bear. I'll stab them.

... and when the fuzz ask who done it, blame it on the teddy bear, I'm sure they'll believe it.

Exactly! Never get between a man and what he holds dear, like me, if someone gets between me and my fridge, they're losing an arm, if that fridge has bacon, they die

You should have imagined yourself in the others persons goose... He...he

What?

Put yourself in the others persons shoes..

Imagine the shoe on another foot.. Walk a mile .., etc.. But goose

It doesn't work if you have to explain it

No shit didn't know that one

Again like the repliers to 10.. Don't comment if you're too stupid to get the joke! Having 6 people posting "durr I dun get it" is what makes it lack comedy. Although I Do find it funny that every derp is from the U.S.

Yea every single person from the United States is really stupid, completely 100% accurate generalization! great job!