Love: Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's... - FML

17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my boyfriend moved. He moved from my room... to my housemate's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 604

You deserved it 3 594

Mama's boy

Dementia or hate? You decide

Own it

25/07/2017 05:00

Today, I spent the first two hours of my shift cleaning up liquid poo after an elderly lady sat in one of our chairs and promptly let go of her bowels. I was so embarrassed for her that I even bought her a towel, underwear, and a pair of pants. She then thanked one of my coworkers for all the help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 184

You deserved it 347

31/12/2010 15:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a guy I like when I was out shopping. We acknowledged each other with a little wave, but as I walked away, I heard him say to his friend, "She's never gonna get me with THAT moustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 798

You deserved it 8 820

23/11/2010 05:22

Today, I realized that 95% of my facebook friends added me only because they think my sisters are hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 113

You deserved it 4 521

30/03/2016 06:53 - United States - Manchester

Today, I introduced my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years to my friends. I told him how my friends jokingly call him my imaginary Internet boyfriend. He thought it was so funny that when they met, he claimed to be my cousin, saying that I paid him to pretend to be my boyfriend. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 823

You deserved it 2 924

26/05/2013 09:19 - Australia - Upper Swan

Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 815

You deserved it 3 211

Back to the drawing board

By BackIGo - 15/01/2021 02:01 - Australia

Today, I finished birthday shopping for my husband, my son, and a close friend, who all have birthdays within a week. I was proud of myself for being organized, until I remembered: my husband has a twin sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 149

05/07/2011 22:37 - United States

Today, I got trapped in a glass elevator at the mall. My father walked right by the elevator, laughed and went into a store. A fireman got me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 756

You deserved it 3 403

31/08/2019 18:01

Today, I got a haircut. During dinner, my grandmother complained about it, and said I looked terrible. I've had the exact same haircut for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 389

You deserved it 119

24/12/2014 21:49 - United States - Hurricane

Today, my ex boyfriend got married to the girl he told me was his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 624

You deserved it 3 033

Covidiots just wanna have fun

By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 13:59

Spicy

Today, I've been in lockdown for so long, I got turned on by washing carrots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 182

20/02/2010 15:13 - Singapore

Today, I went to the hospital to get my ingrown toenail removed. The doctors put me on a little surgery table and told me to relax. They then injected anesthetic into my toe four times and used a pair of scissors to slowly cut through my nail. Only, the anesthetic hadn't started to work just yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 780

You deserved it 2 667

31/12/2017 09:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, a brief survey of everyone I know revealed that everyone, including my parents, sibling, and best friends, thinks I'm gay. I had to do the first reverse coming out in history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 363

You deserved it 434

16/03/2012 17:24 - Australia

Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said "nah". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 285

You deserved it 2 420

02/02/2011 05:57 - United States

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 763

You deserved it 8 464

05/06/2015 13:42 - United States - Kent

Today, after telling my mom that I'll be going to Las Vegas with my dad for my 21st birthday, she started ranting about how my dad always wanted to abort me and that she was the only one who actually wanted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 692

You deserved it 2 269

18/09/2009 23:27 - Australia

Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 256

You deserved it 7 378

13/11/2010 13:24 - United States

Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 170

You deserved it 5 723

27/01/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 087

You deserved it 41 194

04/07/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, I went swimming with this guy I like at dammed river. While we were jumping off the dam, I decided to try to impress him by doing a front flip. I didn't jump far enough off, so when I went to flip, my face skidded down the concrete wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 815

You deserved it 44 801

11/12/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, I was getting ready to go to a surprise party I'd planned for my best friend. All was going well on the discretion part until I logged onto Facebook. I saw that my sister had set her status to, "At Natalie's surprise party! BBL!" Natalie had liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 068

You deserved it 3 273

22/06/2013 05:01 - United States - Monterey

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 182

You deserved it 3 602

Word salad

By Mardy Shaber - 19/12/2020 20:02

Today, my dad was so dizzy, he couldn't get out of bed. I called his doctor but sadly I confused the word "vertigo" with "libido." The doctor may have been impressed but offered me no helpful suggestions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 352

21/07/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 226

You deserved it 46 886

27/08/2009 15:53 - United States

Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 654

You deserved it 5 222

14/04/2011 22:27 - Canada

Today, to impress my friends, I attempted to do a back flip. The only one impressed was the doctor who set my broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 952

You deserved it 38 356

19/12/2016 01:51 - United States - Bastrop

Today, I swung my arm with a product in my hand, and the product flew out of the packaging and hit an old lady on her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 800

You deserved it 1 370

04/03/2010 20:00 - United States

Today, it was my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. We had dinner reservations to an expensive restaurant and planned to see a movie after. At least, we did, until he called to tell me he'd volunteered to work tonight. He won't get off until 2am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 803

You deserved it 3 509

04/09/2010 11:02 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 197

You deserved it 34 315

06/08/2012 05:03 - United States - Mountain View

Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 723

You deserved it 2 537

26/08/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 629

You deserved it 3 630

05/06/2011 07:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 126

You deserved it 57 042

13/01/2009 15:01 - United States

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 855

You deserved it 52 792

08/07/2016 07:54 - United States - State College

Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 481

You deserved it 1 297

03/06/2009 10:31 - Kuwait

Today, I woke up with a splitting headache. Then someone at work wouldn't stop whistling loudly and it was getting on my nerves. "Can the dick who is whistling please stop?" I asked. It was the general manager of my department. I'm still on probation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 589

You deserved it 51 329

13/06/2019 18:00

Today, my credit card got declined while I was buying anti-depressants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 135

You deserved it 312

04/12/2014 02:49 - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 259

You deserved it 3 272

31/03/2016 01:09 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, I went to 7-11, where the cashier asked me if I had the app to get rewards. She then looked at me and said, "Never mind, I can tell you don't." I guess I have no control over my resting bitch face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 989

You deserved it 2 102

25/07/2009 04:21 - Australia

Today, I went to the dentist to have two cavities filled. I hate the dentist. After he'd started drilling, I heard a "clunk" noise followed by an "Oops." My dentist had cut my tooth in half. Now I have to go to surgery to have the tooth extracted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 957

You deserved it 2 913

31/05/2011 01:59 - United States

Today, it was the last day of school. My students shared what they thought of me. Expecting to hear wonderful things, all of their complaints can be summed up in a few words: I'm a liar, a killer of dreams, I need to grow up, and I was a big disappointment to them. I'm a first-year teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 271

You deserved it 14 603

12/08/2011 06:14 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 744

You deserved it 30 448

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 2:07

Why hasn't anyone already said what a horrible roommate/housemate she has? OP, they're both shitty. If you can, move out of there.

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 1:02

wow, does he like you, or his roommate? Is the roommate a guy or a girl?

Comments

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 1:02

well thats weird..wouldn't that be your room?

AwesumIndianGurl 0

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 8:02

LOL she said "HOUSEmate" not "ROOMmate" Haha xD

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 11:21

It definitely used to say roommate.

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 21:38

yeah it did say roommate but idk what happend

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 1:02

wow, does he like you, or his roommate? Is the roommate a guy or a girl?

mytralala_fml 7

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 15:42

i think he likes op's housemate. and I'm just guessing op's housemate is a female; because it wouldn't be a big deal if it was a male IMO :)

JERZBornNRaised 7

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 1:03

isn't that the same room? so he technically didn't move did he? and if you meant he moved into a diff room with another girl then fyl, he aint worth it, might as well forget about him, and you can do better

UpsidedownKayak 9

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 1:30

How does she forget about him if they still live in the same house or apartment? I think it makes it a little difficult to move on without getting some time apart. She might not have anywhere to go and then has to see him everyday, that situation sucks!

JERZBornNRaised 7

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 1:41

yea thats true, didnt think of that, well if she gets a bf soon she can rub it in his face and hell most likely get jealous

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 6:06

No he will not, he will continue to have animal sex with the roommate and OP will get jealous.

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 9:09

or shecoul act out. let him now tht op has moved on and make himself feel jelous and stupid for letting her go...

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 1:06

i think its only an Fml if your roomate is a girl.

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 1:09

Why is that, exactly? If he left for another man, does that somehow negate the leaving?

usafacadet2013 4

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 2:19

Maybe he wanted to leave her, without getting his own place, and her roommate was a guy who was friends with him, and now they platonically live together in the same room.

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 1:07

They might mean it where "roommate" = "housemate". But yeah, it's kind of stupid if it means that he didn't actually move at all.

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 1:25

ouch, op!

mea_iloveskiing 26

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 1:31

Your room isn't HOT enough :)

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 1:45

so is ur roomm8 a girl or a guy?

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 2:07

Why hasn't anyone already said what a horrible roommate/housemate she has? OP, they're both shitty. If you can, move out of there.

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Tuesday 18 January 2011 2:23

is your roomate a man ? cause if so that's funny. if not then that's bad that your roomate screwed you. either way that sucks.

Nearly

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 3

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 55

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 143