Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my maid of honor, who offered to take care of my wedding dress before the D-Day, left it near her open window during heavy rain. My dress is now ruined, and she's backed out due to stress. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow. FML
Today, I went to pick up my wedding dress from the seamstress, only to find out that my fiancé called two weeks ago to say I wanted the dress "tie-dyed to match our new theme." She believed him. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML
Today, I bought my wedding dress and sat it on the bed while I went to buy matching shoes. When I came home, I saw my soon to be husband on the bed sitting next to my wedding dress. Turns out he spilt Coca-Cola on the dress and was trying to get it out with carpet cleanser. FML
Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML
Today, despite my warnings, my only son married a girl I hate. To protest their marriage, I wore a white dress to the wedding. Her maid of honor "tripped" and spilled red wine all over me. FML
Today, I noticed I'd lost my wedding ring after returning home from a long, tiring day of painting our newly purchased home. After driving back and forth to the house for more than an hour to go looking for it, I found it tucked away in my back pocket. FML
Today, a mad woman squirted me with a water gun filled with paint as we were leaving the church where I just married my husband. As I was staring at this mad bitch in my ruined dress, wondering why she would do something so horrible, she ran off crying and shouting, "Sorry wrong wedding!" FML
Today, I had diarrhea and shit myself. During my wedding. In my wedding dress. FML
Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML
Today, I got a call that my custom order bridesmaid dress is at the apartment complex I just moved out of. They won’t give it to me because I’m no longer a resident, but they just thought I should know. The wedding’s tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
Dudernahada 0
I'm sorry but I dont get it. Is there a story behind this?
Shadic 0
They say brides are nuts for a reason.
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Comments (271)
DRush_fml 12
who would do that?
o0ginger0o 7
I understand the character limit, but you still kinda have to say what happened so it makes SOME sense. It's all in phrasing. Today, the psycho who I outbid for the church for my wedding decided if she couldn't have her wedding here today, I wouldn't either. I found a note on a lounge chair saying ‘Today is MY wedding day, bitch’ and my expensive gown in the pool, covered in red paint. FML (266 characters) Today, my fiancés bat-shit crazy ex somehow snuck onto the grounds before my wedding. I found a note on a lounge chair saying ‘Today is MY wedding day, bitch’ and my expensive gown in the pool, covered in red paint. FML (219 characters) Today, the day of my wedding, an evil pots and pans robot obsessed with my fiancé decided to make one last stand before I got to the alter. I found a note on a lounge chair saying ‘Today is MY wedding day, bitch’ and my expensive gown in the pool, covered in red paint. FML (273 characters)
wickedgrl13 0
Family Guy reference FTW!! :)
o0ginger0o 7
Except I couldn't fit in the part where the wheelchair ninja runs over the dress, then the dress gets eaten by a dinosaur. These things happen.
DrunkenValor 0
Hitler.
ireply_w_lyrics 0
You called?
DrunkenValor 0
Lets get this riech started.
allmidnighteyes 11
I'd rather not fill my mind with creepy stalking, encouragement of abusive relationships, and werewolves falling in love with babies, kthnx Twilight lovers should start reading actual books, as opposed to 500 page synonyms for "sparkling" and "beautiful" written by a batshit insane lady who pretty much hates all women and wants them to look for guys who emotionally and physically abuse them as a sign of "love", and who probably has nightly wet dreams about her main character.
DrunkenValor 0
*Swoons* Oh Edward.
jjjeah 0
Dear allmidnighteyes, You are pretty amazing and I hope you are aware of this. That is, so far, the best rationally-put tiraded against Twilight I have ever written. Please keep it up. I am not being sarcastic, I promise!
jjjeah 0
I tried to read Twilight, but I vomited after one page. Incidentally, that one page broke every rule my Writer's Craft teacher in high school had ever laid down for us.
samhat 0
These are my thoughts exactly. I'm glad some one has enough respect for themselves and other women to realize that Twilight is an awful example of literature
tari_joon 0
Did read it. It's shit. I am an avid reader, lover of literature of all kinds and that book is a terrible example for any aspiring writers.
666HailSatan666 0
I am assuming this is some crazy ex-girlfriend/fiancee trying to get revenge?
bosshaug 0
I don't get this at all
cat83 0
This seems to be missing part of the story...
pkstarstorm 0
There's more to this story.
sweetj2 0
i agree with #61
dance_till_dawn 0
Twilight haters should try reading a book. Maybe you should start with Twilight. OP, this sucks.
Klabauterpete 0
Cool story, bro.
Sachy 0
This is kind of lacking information. Who exactly did this?