I’m not lining up to catch that garter...

"Where will you be when diarrhea strikes?" doesn't get more fitting than this.

Well. I doubt anyone will ever forget your wedding.

That was quick. Most people get a few good years before their marriages turn to shit.

Oh crap!

I wish the English language had a word that succinctly describes how this situation sounds.

I’m think if there were such a word, it wouldn’t be “pretty.”

are we still doing white weddings cus if so yikesssss

Yeah that's a shitty start to your marriage...

Where is a sink when you need one? Was Melissa McCarthy one of your Bridesmaids?

Hopefully your dress was puffy and people couldn’t immediately see it...and it didn’t get on the floor...and they somehow couldn’t smell it? Maybe? That’s all I got. I’m sorry OP, I hope you got cleaned up and we’re able to enjoy some of your wedding day!