By bob - 03/07/2012 17:33 - United States - Fairborn

Spicy
Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 896
You deserved it 9 342

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Get a new girlfriend? Or try a BOYfriend? ^^;

Does she turn you off that much? Maybe you don't need to be together.

Comments

Ooo at least you know you like we for what's inside

Sounds like he knows who he doesn't want to be inside of.

Like we for what's inside?? Huh?

Personality and not looks tard face^^

Supposed to be like HER for what's inside.

It really isn't that hard to tell what the comment was. Let's not make a big deal.

36, what does a tard face look like? Because you couldn't be talking about me I don't have a picture of my face..

For Fuck's Sake #50 - Shut the fuck up about it!

75- looks like its your time of the month again huh?

Tard face? Bringing it back to the 3rd grade. Classy.

84- Man periods: WAY too common these data.

41- Making a big deal about seemingly inconsequential comments and/or mistakes is what FML is all about!

Lol @ people who take FML too seriously

It's not just an app it's our life we use this app everything's we take a shit gawd dammit and we want our comments spelled right lol

Agreed with #145. How else am i suppose to get my butt numb everytime i shit.

I love when my butt is numb

75-someone's getting defensive. Are you offended because you have a tard face?

75, I dont see why you got all butt hurt over me defending myself against some one who called me a "tard face"..

I don't understand what you're trying to say. Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

2- I anything cant do since because pickles

Pic or it didn't happen

Does she turn you off that much? Maybe you don't need to be together.

Yeah, why wood OP look at her pic of he isn't attracted to her?

23 - Would. The word you need is WOULD.

I think she was trying to make a joke

It was a poor pun. Very. Very. Poor.

I dunno. I think 51 is right, they also wrote of instead of if... Unless that's part of the joke.

Am I the only one that thinks op turned gay?

I don't know what's worse: my utter failure at pun or dimwits who are actually correcting my spelling.

Well then might I suggest you spell it right in the fist place? And sorry but it'd be 'utter failure at a pun' and 'the dimwits' which I inform you, we are not.

Ah sorry I meant first. Sometimes I really hate my autocorrect

#103 - Autocorrect. Sure, okay.

#97, that moment when you try to correct someone about their spelling, and you spell something wrong...

86, For a pun like that to be successful it needs to have no other major spelling errors. People aren't dimwitted when they're coming to logical conclusions based on the shitty information you've provided.

Wow, arguing about spelling and grammar. Cool.

More like f her life.

Okay it wasn't my auto correct it was me. Sorry people. Sorry for being half blind and ADD. Yes I'm half blind I have Retinitis Pigmentosa (go google it) and about half the cells in each of my eyes have burned out and stopped working. My brain skips over things like that. That why I couldn't catch that person saying 'of' instead of 'if' an me saying 'fist' instead of 'first'. I can't play sports like tennis either. Don't worry though, I hate me too. I'm sorry. *walks away sniffling*

189- don't worry, "You are what you allow yourself to be"

193 - you think I can do ANYTHING about it? Wow you haven't googled it yet. There's no cure. Nobody cares. No one ever does. I'm gonna go and try to commit suicide again.

What a depressing way to end these replies. I guess I could make a terrible overused joke about how if you fail once, try, try again. But I try to avoid being an asshole. so sorry #189.

It IS sad, VERY sad, but buddy, you sort of-ish-ly sound like you slightly want attention right now... Just a smidgit...

Ok look if he would dump her bc of tht he's an a**hole bc he would jus b thinking of her looks and not whts on the inside

honestly if youre going to say youre going to kill yourself on a huge social platform, I loose my respect for you. Youre using your disablilities to get attention, and youre being rude while doing it. I have my problems too, but I like keeping them to my goddamn self instead of milking it out for attention.

Exactly 227! I have lots of problems myself, but I keep them in & not beg for attention. I could try to make it a competition though... I had cancer as a child, had a kidney, half a lung, & my inferior vena cava removed. Multiple seizures, blood clots, anemia, lack of communication between eyes & brain, extreme anxiety & depression, car accident, fractured arm, emergency hysterectomy, ovarian cysts, & endometriosis. All before 22. Beat that! This is how bored I am.

Get a new girlfriend? Or try a BOYfriend? ^^;

I like this idea ... I'd be happy to send you a pic ... I'm sure I'll keep your wood up all day long ;)

76's comment nearly made me tear up with laughter.

I'm a guy I hope that's ok ;)

that's not ok.

That's more than ok, it's perfect.

Desperate much!?!? Close your legs!

It's ok if u have feelings for the same gender:)

Gay life rocks!

No gay, no way. GTFO

Haha I wouldnt mind ;)

Yeah, his girlfriends ugly, he must be gay

Well, at least you dont have to wait thirty minutes to pee?

Challenge yourself and pee while in that state!

I've tried.. And failed.

One does not simply Pee with a boner (yes, I was referring to the meme)

Wait 30 min? Why not just stick it in a bowl of ice cold water? I never knew guys couldn't have a boner and simultaneously urinate. You learn something new every day.

I agree with 53, I'm shocked that it enables you to urinate. 30 minutes is a long time, too.

A boner doesn't make it so you can't pee, it just makes it extremely difficult to actually aim.

I've challenged myself many times with success but the pain did not help

My boyfriend can. If he can't then he cuts off the circulation that makes it soft and much easier. Waistband guys... Even I know this.

#16 I peed on the ceiling.

57, *disables*. Having a boner does make it extremely difficult to pee, though not impossible. The reason for this is because urine is acidic and if you pee as you cum it can compromise the sperm and prevent the fertilization of an egg so to prevent this problem evolution made it difficult for us to pee while in an aroused state.

81- Umm, your boner sticks straight up? That's not normal.

Well.... I've had to be really badly before after waking up and..... I'll just say it.... you have to like sit on the toilet and grab your feet and let biology do the rest.

Also learned the hard way.. Never force it out if it's angled down when peeing, it'll sting like a bitch..

This is why I'm happy to be a girl

It's possible to urinate.. But it just shoots off all over the place

its extremely difficult to piss with a boner, but when nature calls you cant say no

125 Honestly, between problems with the occasional boner, and pregnancy or having a period once a month, being a guy seems like the better option. But maybe I'm biased

All you have to do is lean over and your hand on the wall and pee straight down

Even I (a girl) find it very hard to pee when aroused. I don't know the mechanism exactly..all the swollen tissue must squeeze off the urethra.

Another reason is to prevent straggler sperm from wiggling the wrong way into your bladder!

It's hard. Hahaha

When i was a baby i peed in my own face because of an erection ... :s so you could say i found out the hard way..

Am I the only one who goes out back to do it?

It's hard to do...unless you're R. Kelly hahaha

At least she is beautiful in the brain right? If not, YDI

"ya baby your lobes are the perfect size, the curves of your brain stem drive me insane! your cerebrum is so big and is perfectly rounded, you know how much i love a nice round cerebrum. and look how small your cerebellum is! ohhhh ya."

I mean to say that she is smart. Not everything us about looks. Some people are so shallow

How do you know she's smart?

They don't, hence the "If not"...what I can't quite figure out is how that means YDI...

Well, now you know you're dating for the personality! Kudos to you for not being shallow while picking a girlfriend, OP. Was it the face or the body that killed it?

I would assume it was the body, or else he wouldn't have specified it was a nude picture

Having a wonderful personality is awesome but you have to be well-rounded. If she doesn't excite him in that since thats a problem.

I agree. Whoever says looks don't matter is lying. To a certain extent, they do. Both physical and sexual attraction are very important in a relationship, not to mention physical attraction is what attracts a person in the first place. Sure, they aren't as important as a person's personality, but they certainly do play a significant role in a relationship.

I also have to agree. Much as I wanted to believe that looks weren't important, I had to break up with my last gf because I just didn't find her attractive anymore.

You've found the cure for Morning wood!

New business opportunity, they'll be millionaires if he survives suggesting it.

If we were to deploy OP's picture of his girlfriend on every porn site, we would kill every boner on the planet. Mass hysteria would follow, yes I can see it coming together. Our own fun would be the profit.

LOL, put her picture up on every guys wall. So that's the first thing they see in the morning by by morning wood ;)