By Anonymous - 04/09/2017 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML
I agree, your life sucks 4 061
You deserved it 461

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If your morning wood is big enough to be mistaken for a scratching post, that's something to brag about! Still, looks like you got a little more pussy than you wanted.

The cat was probably like "what the hell is this? I better claw it to see if it's alive"

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Scratching post? Right! Don’t flatter yourself — the cat was hunting the mouse in your pants.

Sounds like somebody's got cat scratch fever!

Probably felt like you needed a circumcision.

He may have already had one years ago

You gotta be kitten me right meouch

If your morning wood is big enough to be mistaken for a scratching post, that's something to brag about! Still, looks like you got a little more pussy than you wanted.

Everything is better with ridges.

The cat was probably like "what the hell is this? I better claw it to see if it's alive"

reason #433 as to why I am convinced cats are evil little brats.

reason #433 as to why I am convinced cats are evil little brats.