Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper would think I have a love life. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
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Top comments
s0m3guy2010 21
It is always safer to put a condom on before making love to yourself.
thacar 1
Why impress people like that? If I saw the condom I would be disgusted, not impressed!
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Comments (191)
annagilbert 6
Who the hell do you live with?
brevolorio 5
His mother
zandalee 20
The Brady Bunch
ygdrassil 17
Probably he has a cooler, more socially adept younger brother and needs to prove he's not the loser of the family.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Quagmire.
HelloGuys 4
Who were you trying to impress? Thats just nasty
SousapCody 6
Your profile pic works PERFECTLY with your comment.
JAB2010 1
Probably why the either chose that pic or chose to write that...
justin574 6
Am I the only one that read this comment in Cleveland's voice?
BunnyRose 11
No
JAB2010 1
'Look like it' to whom, though? I mean--why does anyone else care to know that?? I think I'd be disgusted to find a 'Coney Island Whitefish' in the garbage.
Dusty_Busters 15
Hahahaha coney island whitefish?!?!? That's hella funny!! Well done
sovetskiy 8
Don't say hella.
bigdude1302 2
Who cares man? So you haven't had sex so what? Who are you trying to impress? Most people would find that very commendable of you. It's always good to wait fort the right person anyway!
LuckyLynx7732 5
Just don't wait until your married, unless you are a gambler of the highest magnitude.
atitud3 12
There is no right person. Ffs just **** and live
littlemsweirdo 12
That's just nasty not impressive.
dead_insects 18
Most people aren't wondering if you're having sex or not, be comfortable in yourself and your personality, and impress people that way...
martin_martian7 11
Doesn't matter had sex. Oh wait.....
klovemachine 24
Nice try :D
MCRaddict15 15
Perhaps ****?
CMC_LOVES_MGM 19
Wow... Why do you feel the need attempt to boast about sex? If you hadn't had any oh well get over it or find someone. Faking only Takes you down another step on the inferiority complex ladder
mosquito19 14
that's ******* disgusting, it'll stink up the whole room in no time
Dusty_Busters 15
Laaaaaaaaaaatex
AlexBblah 10
Beeeearrr Skiiiiinnnn, eww bear skin :P it's like a 3 way 2 humans and a bear :X
DKjazz 20
...A dead bear...