Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper would think I have a love life. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
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Top comments
s0m3guy2010 21
It is always safer to put a condom on before making love to yourself.
thacar 1
Why impress people like that? If I saw the condom I would be disgusted, not impressed!
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Comments (191)
Nirah_fml 18
That's just disgusting and pathetic. If you're that ridiculously desperate to stick your penis in something, people can probably tell, and it's probably working against you. Girls will want to have sex with you because they like you, not to impress whatever idiots you live with.
brad_west 1
Ydi, why would you do that.
Prague811 1
Smh....
zuelhater 7
Your pathetic
captainburke 5
That doesn't sound like an easy task. Get over it, you'll get laid eventually!
loverboy666 6
Dude that is the lowest of the low come on if u won't it get a job and pay 4 it got
liftedyoda 5
Thats just nasty nobody wants to see that laying around
osm1989_fml 6
Was masturbating into the condom really necessary? You could've just thrown an empty condom into the trash can really. These people that you're trying to impress- are you actually expecting them to sift through the garbage, pull out the condom and inspect it to make sure that it does in fact contain your nasty, desperate sperm?
hateevryone 15
That is sad.
ryra88 4
Ew