By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 572
You deserved it 2 797

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hawright 13

I guess you didn't see that one coming... I'm sorry, I had to.

Lovely roommate you have there. Go over to him, drop it back onto his face, and say: "I believe this is yours."


hawright 13

I guess you didn't see that one coming... I'm sorry, I had to.

13, no need for the correction. The pun was implied.

I guess his girlfriend came over this time instead of him going over to her house and having sex on her sisters bed.

unknown_user5566 26

46- There was so much potential in that previous FML reference... I think it was just too long-winded. A for effort! :)

Kn0wledge123 21

Today really sucked for a lot of people. Brick to the head, accused of hating Jesus, racist dog, pshyco baby stealing bakini wax lady, wise ass kid, now a condum to the face.

KiddNYC1O 20

That's what a good pun should be. Kudos, Yoda.

Hahaha he was aiming for op's laptop ;)

"Come at me bro" to a whole new level..

71- thanks for the advice. I'll keep it in mind. I was sleepy when I was writing it and deleted it 3 times and just couldn't get it to a place I liked it so I settled. I am not happy with the end result either. I'm gonna thumb myself down too.

you sleep in the same room while hes having sex with his girlfriend? lol

unknown_user5566 26

64- No, but apparently you find implications in comments when there are none.

MrBond007_fml 6

Well actually in the comment it says that op's roommate decided to throw the condom across the room rather than get up and throw it away. If he threw it across the room and it landed on op, I think that means they were in the same room. I could be wrong but that's how I read it.

...roomie comes in while op is asleep, ***** girlfriend. I mean come on.

unknown_user5566 26

98- Since 64 replied to 3, I interpreted the comment as 64 finding some sort of implication in "rude awakening", meaning I thought 64 believed the same situation (in the story) had happened to 3. Now that I've reread this thread, I realize 64 was actually thread jacking instead of replying, and thus I interpreted the comment incorrectly. Woops.

lebronesque73091 12

That is all kinds of nasty. Put on his face for the next night.

Lovely roommate you have there. Go over to him, drop it back onto his face, and say: "I believe this is yours."

The effect would be multiplied ten-fold if you emptied it onto his face. Wear a glove.

unknown_user5566 26

4- Not sure why, but my mind automatically added "Roadhouse." to the end of your sentence. Damn you, Family Guy.

Family guy rocks. Well it's okay, some episodes suck.

90-you're right. That made it infinitely better.

I say he ought to pour in on the arse hole

A friend of mine did this once... but the dog ate it. Needless to say, his mother wasnt very happy when she took the dog for a walk the next morning...

unknown_user5566 26

I feel worse for the dog than the mother. Can you imagine crapping out a condom? Eesh.

sonny234 0

Yeah, I can. Just ask any member of the cartel lol

So you actually share a room with your room mate and they had sex with you asleep in the room? Wow I would find another room mate!

conqueror57 11

No that's called nasty I'm in college and I have a roommate but we have enough decency not to screw our significant other if someone else is present. So don't assume that people only do filthy things like that in certain settings, because it's not true.

conqueror57 11

I agree that it's rude and fairly nasty, but I had a roommate in college who did this to me a few times. My point is that in college it's common to share a room with someone, and that someone isn't always courteous.

we have a couch in our dorm, so when one of us is *******, the other sleeps on that. or, at my boyfriends room, his roommate just turns the music up really loud in the next room.

conqueror57 11

We didn't have the luxury of a couch. We had a room probably 12x20 with 3 beds, 3 desks, and 3 dressers. We also didn't have the choice of "finding another roommate" just because we had sex lives.

I know what college is and I have 20 years in the military. I have shared a room but I never had sex while my room mate was sleeping. That's just wrong and that's my opinion

A7X_LoVeee 10

One of my friends was in her room(during the middle of the day) and her roommate decided it would be a good idea to go into the shower with her boyfriend and have sex. People never cease to amaze me..

conqueror57 11

Smallshaft (tehe), I was just clarifying because you didn't seem capable of imagining a scenario where this isn't unheard of and may even be common.

You punched him in the crotch, right? Shoved the condom down his throat, right? Wagged your finger in his face and scolded him for not putting refuse in its proper receptacle, right?

Kyle225 3

Headshot...I just had to say it

Well at least your pillowcase isn't dirty. As for payback get him an pentagram necklace or throw him a brick.