Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper would think I have a love life. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
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Top comments
s0m3guy2010 21
It is always safer to put a condom on before making love to yourself.
thacar 1
Why impress people like that? If I saw the condom I would be disgusted, not impressed!
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Comments (191)
zandalee 20
Are you like 12? Darl, not good. Go take it out of the trash can in the lounge and move right along. Nothing to see here...
TeddyB88 4
I think he already found one lmao
kikikimsicles 0
No one cares about anyone's sex life but their own. So I doubt they'd care about whether you got laid. But they would be pretty disgusted finding a used condom in their rubbish. Could've been a bit more subtle. But I guess that's not the look you were going for...
titzenpitzer 9
you're a weird man. You took care of other details too?
Kazenoe 24
Hey, I was 23 when I lost my virginity. Your time will come, OP. :D Only hope it will be with someone you care about, and not some random **** you hooked up with because sex is cool...
AlexBblah 10
Well if it get's people of your Tit's about not having sex and how you suck , **** it but should have thrown it under the bed
VooDooCarrie91 19
Really? Under the bed? That's even worse
ATSViper 15
I wish they had a WTF option.
sabrinalove_fml 1
As long as you're the only one that knows the truth...oh wait...,
tewalsh 6
Loser.
perdix 31
You need to throw in a used pregnancy test stick to make it look like you had sex with a female.