By Teeny - 09/03/2010 21:13 - United States

Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 044
You deserved it 3 447

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You should confront him by answering the ad, or you could chop his dick off while he sleeps. Either one would be pretty funny.

so what was playing?


You're first for now. But the mods will get you soon.

Yee12 0

YDI for being out of the kitchen

yee12 wins

Monikabug 9

OP, I know it might seem bad, but for all you know he was just looking. I would not overreact about it until you have proof that he is going after other women. I think that men are just curious by nature, always looking, seeing what is out there, especially when there are babies on the way. As long as he is coming home to you every night, I would say you are going to be okay. FYL, no. Fyourday, yes.

maybe she was looking at the phone in between stirring the pot? or between loads of laundry?

HOLY JESUS TOAST. An FML where a woman is complaining about her poor choice of a spouse/gf?

Monika, I have to disagree with you on this one. It is not normal or okay for him to look online for a woman if they are in a monogamous relationship. Looking at woman that pass by is one thing. Looking for a mistress is another. FYL, OP. Have a talk with him about baby panic and your sex life.

Monikabug 9

@ImaginaryFoe No no no. I did not mean to sound like I think it is okay to look for a mistress. I just meant that like looking at a woman walking down the street, he probably thought it was just as easy to look at a woman online via Craigslist.

you need to get rid of him while you can,once the baby comes it that much harder to do something like that...there is no exscuse for him to be looking on the Internet for any kind of encounter. I don't mean to sound like a bitch,but I have been there before and he cheated as soon as he got the chance.

tehamericanboy94 0

Why did the woman look on craigslist? Who cares? Why isn't she in the kitchen? Now get back there and get off of his phone!

I was first just to let u know but the mods are dumb butts

quikwit1212 0

^ Benen, are you 10? Dumb butts? And no one gives a damn if you were first.

@83 your what 13?? you seriously need to just focus on your comic books,what do you know about adult issues? and what's up with you little boys telling women to get back in the kitchen hmm? you need to be put over daddy's knee and be givin a good spanking! shut the **** up with the sexist kitchen shit.

you spelled discreet wrong

you go girl!!!!

your ******! saying that it's okay to look around because he's a guy is no excuse, he's expecting a child and shouldn't care about what else is out there.

Exactly, and for all she knows, it may not of even been him looking that up. A Co-Worker might have been like "Hey, man, check out what I found, free prostitutes."

cocopuff96 0

true dat

YDI for not eating that cockmeat sandwich

Monikabug 9

^ Fail. Try again, sweetie.

lol #3 wins. and ydi for having a fiance. and also for chekin movie times.

YDI for eating that cockmeat sandwich?

Monikabug 9

It's even more clever the second time around. ツ

Honestly, though, this is a very awkward FML. FYL. And Monika, your very pretty :)

haha and Monika I enjoy reading your comments

y tha hell was this chick out of the kitchen I mean they get to vote nowadays isn't that enough?

tehamericanboy94 0

@ 115 thanks for the good laugh, it was a joke so you should probably get off your period and get in the kitchen ;)

^aww that was cute,nice try at an insult though doll

Ignore Carrot Top.

@ freeze- lol omg so funny

kitchen jokes are only funny to guys not getting laid

kitchen jokes are only funny to guys not getting laid

tehamericanboy94 0

Then why aren't you saying them buddy?

tehamericanboy94 0

And might want to do something with that thing u call a face.

Monikabug 9

@171. Lol, thank you. :) that was very nice of you. @lezzyluver I enjoy reading your comments too.

you really wanna go down that road? honestly you have no place to talk about other people's looks kiddo. this is the last thing I will say to you, good day!

tehamericanboy94 0

I'm not some "kiddo". The kind of people who say shit like that sound immature and stupid..don't be a retard. Sorry if my language is to advanced for you, dumbshit.

I bet that 90% of men have been on the section of CL, even I've been there. that doesn't mean that we're all running around getting hookers. it's just curiosity. I think only a tiny percent actually go out and get them.

Monikabug 9

@211 this is what I have been saying ALL night. :)

199 back to the a popular joke. also where you belong.

LisaLux 0


mnemonicdaze 0

Bella_coza I think you are gorgeous. Carrot Top just has a case of the uglies and is pissed because he wasn't the first to make the sandwich joke thus making the only funny thing about him his face.

@202 shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

you're just mad because your feet hurt from standing in the kitchen all day...

well thank you nemonic!

Yee12 0

Bella... Make me a sammich.

strength413 8

from a guys perspective i say fyl, for one, because that's pretty damn specific, and secondly if a guy is thinking about cheating, it generally means he's not happy with the status quo, even if he doesn't cheat, he still is most likely unhappy. and tehamericanboy94, i would really love to beat your ass down. i'm no feminist, but when a guy like you so blatantly disrespects women it shows just how big of a douche you are, and if you're trying to seem cool/funny i'm gonna let you in on a secret,... everyone hates you.

I got to totally agree with 22. a girl with logic and good sprit?!? marry me!

InCaged_Insanity 0

surprise!! your getting a divorce

look who's talking? Go to bed little kid.

yeah me and my buddy look at the craigslist hookers while at work and laugh about it! or comment how the hell the gross ones wanna charge like 200 an hour ! wow that's alot. oh and the kitchen jokes are lame. I'm a guy and I like to cook for my ladies. so get in the kitchen guys and appreciate your women!

tehamericanboy94 0

Buddy I'm not sexist, read the comments I said it WAS A FUCKING JOKE now resume your pointless lives.

Yee12 0

Agreed with 256

Monikabug 9

@235. Lol, is that an offer? ;)

@256 you should give up and cut your losses. And your hair.

MyThoughtsR 0

lol. @83 ur not funny at all (fail) and u look like some just mopped a homeless shelters floor with ur head so stfu.

MyThoughtsR 0


@ the dude with the Jew fro. I don't believe for an instant women don't make sexist jokes about men. all you ***** need a sense of humor. you're what's wrong with the world today. I bet you even care about global warming and who the president is. give it a rest people, you'll be dead soon anyways so live your life and laugh at the the lame sexist jokes. @OP, I guarantee he's not cheating on you and if he is you're an idiot for ending up with him. learn how to read people, it's a very useful skill.

$5 says 281 smokes weed.

wow you're such a sexist dick.

FYLDeep 25

YDI for ordering a little boy off craigslist.

I can't wait 4 the rainforest burnig ceremony

YDI for marring a guy who can't wait till marrage!

Are you guys seriously freaking out because someone made a kitchen joke? First off, iT'S A FRICKIN JOKE! Secondly, girls make jokes like that about guys all the time so stfu you pricks and go make us some sandwiches.

BoWZeR 1

haha stupid

in friggin first, this is the second time this honor has been bestowed upon me

Xxdom4073xX 0

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

I should probably say something encouraging and uplifting to the op. At least he wasnt joining al quieda and making films where he sucks on elephants dicks. (unless you like that stuff)

#4 You're most likely a cheating ass yourself. I hope woman start to hate you. And #126 what made you come up with THAT??? O.o

wordnerd127 7

what is the matter with you?!

so what was playing?

cindebaby 0

lmfao @5 made my dayyy

cocopuff96 0

ohh, maybe you should confront him about this?

cocopuff96 0

and plus why would you do it before your married?

@84 because we don't live in the ******* stone age. wake up and smell the 21st century, religion is out.

#282 So wanting to wait until marriage is always, with no exception, a symbol of religion and way too antiquated for the 21st century? I think that's up to themselves to decide. They might not've been so smooth in asking why OP didn't wait, but you weren't either in saying having patience when it comes to sex is in the past :)

I got first hahahaha I'm happy snickerdoodles is annoying. and by the way ydi for snoppin now go make me a sandwhich

lizzilla8297 2

#7, you aren't first, stupid!

#7 ... this is the reason your single. women do not belong in the kitchen or the laundry room or just in your bed. that's probably why you have an affair on your left hand with your right one every other day. ******* womanizer

Monikabug 9

"lil slutty grandma?" Really? I LOL'd at that. But, no. You are just another annoying little troll, moaning and groaning about snickerdoodles to gain a little teeny tiny bit of acceptance from complete strangers. But, you aren't even good at that. What a shame.

"Lil slutty grandma" Creative insult, I'm stealing that. Thanks you ******* elf.

Xxdom4073xX 0

Oh monika, let him have his fun with snickers, she can handle him, I am sure. See, from what I've seen, you either dislike Snikers, or love her.

actually benen she's pretty cute. and she just owned you.

maggiees 0

Can someone tell me why everyone hates snickerdoodles? I just got this account, but what happened? what does she do?

MermaidSongXOXO 6

#135 People hate snickerdoodles because she's what some people would call a "Grammar Nazi". She corrects grammar and spelling mistakes that are so obvious that people shouldn't have made them in the first place.

Monikabug 9

@Maggie Also, some people think that it is just fun to purposefully post a hateful comment about her. They do it because they think that if they bash someone via the internet, that they do not know, they will gain respect from other strangers on the internet, who they also do not know. It happens on nearly every comment that she posts. Pathetic of them, but it is the only fun they have I am afraid. As someone mentioned earlier in this thread, there are generally 2 types of people on FML. People who hate Snickerdoodles (for whatever their reasonings may be) and people who absolutely love her. You, too, will in time become one of these people.

aDropOfSunshine 2

I'd argue that there's a third type of person on FML: those that really just don't give a **** either way. That is all. :)

Monikabug 9

Well, I did say GENERALLY. ツ

I proclaim from here henceforth that all comments directed to the elusive "snickerdoodles" make explicit reference to either a female or a product meant for human consumption... as the clock ushers in the start of a new day my stomach turns with unrest... TLDR: I'm hungry... Anyways... for an elf that was a rather creative insult. I suppose I should thank you by revealing the real reason you would rather be known as an elf. Perhaps in a few years you shall be recognized as a troll...until then, I advise you quietly await the day when your voice shall fall an octave...

Monika, it's not that. she is a complete grammar Nazi, she always states the obvious, and she comes off as a twat. I haven't even been a member long and I didn't follow the hate train. I realized it myself.

#33 wins... #7... with all the free time you probably have I'm surprised you didn't get first... unless you were too busy playing with yourself to refresh the

he actually did get first I saw it. thankfully the mods got it quickly enough. I pray they ban him from this site.

7, learn to spell beyond a first grade level.

itz_towelie 6

so we are all picking on 7? 7 i rather dislike you... i like being a part of thiings....

fits138 0

^I lol everytime I see your pictar. it's silly!

plus ydi for having sex before marrage **** and I haven't gotten my sandwhich yet!!!!

cocopuff96 0

I think it kinda isn't I meant to say like why go and get pregnate? You should do that when your married.

iSwag 0 aren't having sex with him?

iHyuMeng 0

she is pregnant 7 months

So? You can still have sex while pregnant.

iHyuMeng 0

I don't know, maybe not at later stages?

Ajjas013 6

They're probably adopting.

When I was 7 months pregnant it was extremely difficult to have sex because I gained all my weight in my belly. My boyfriend stopped wanting to have sex at that point because it was such a chore trying to find a position we could have sex in comfortably.

That's when your hormones are the craziest! I was ready for sex all the time at 7 months. The belly was a problem but there are definitely other ways to reach your goal.

epoh_fml 0

with my previous two pregnancies I gained all my weight in my belly also, but had sex up until delivery (not constantly, but regularly). the key is getting creative with your positions ;)

NightGod 0 is very possible while going through pregnancy. As a conversation with a friend who's wife was about five months behind mine went, "When did you guys have to stop having sex?" "What do you mean, stop? If anything, we're having more." With the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy off the table, it's one less thing to stress about, and less stress is a great thing for a woman's sex drive...

#1,2 and 4 are big time idiots. And this is one sad FML, I'm sorry OP. Along w/ the fact that you're preggers. Confront that mofo' and make him pay.

Xxdom4073xX 0

Really, most affairs/cheating in relationships are caused by sexual frustrations not being taken care of. 1) she wasn't putting out enough 2) she wasn't good enough. 3) he's a dick, it's a possibility... buuut...

gonna have to agree with 16 on that one

Monikabug 9

@16 The OP is 7 months pregnant. Most women do not have sex into their 3rd trimester, until the last few days before they are due. That still is not an excuse.

first off when your 7 months pregnant, sex Is the last thing on your mind. and secondly, hea a dick for messing around on his wife and soon to be mother of his child

@16 My bet would be that they aren't really happy with each other in the first place. It seems likely (especially considering the statistics nowadays) that they're only getting married because she got pregnant. An unhappy relationship would result, hence the infidelity.

Correction: An unhappy relationship would *likely* result, hence the infidelity.

Did you think he was looking for you on there to see if you posted on there? He might have checked men before that too.

Xxdom4073xX 0

#13- It's a possibility, but that is what you get for snooping, and then not confronting. You will second guess anything that happens for quite some time. It will make things pretty shaky, and if you didn't have suspicions before then, he's probably not cheating. Plus, have you ever read any of those posts? They are ******* hilarious.

Xxdom, you're a ******* idiot. FYL

no 30, you are the idiot.

Xxdom4073xX 0

#30, really? Go troll else where, and thanks for the FML ^_^, appreciate it.