Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML
Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML
Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML
Today, my boyfriend went through my phone while I was in the bathroom, to check if I was cheating. I'm not. He was looking for some leverage for when he told me he's been fucking my best friend for the last year, he could use something against me. FML
Today, I tried to go to my Hotmail account on my boyfriend's computer. When I typed in "hot", a big history list came down. It was all "Hot single mom looking for a good lay" Craigslist ads. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has an account on a sex hookup site. He said it has "interesting articles" and that he'd completed his profile and listed his sexual preferences out of boredom. When I told him to sign in and prove he hadn't been messaging girls, he refused and called me paranoid. FML
Today, I realized that my fiancée is using our son to make sure we can't have sex. He's two years-old and hasn't once slept in his own bed or crib. FML
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Top comments
Fedor_is_KING 0
You should confront him by answering the ad, or you could chop his dick off while he sleeps. Either one would be pretty funny.
crazeelife12 0
so what was playing?
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Comments (309)
perdix 29
He'll have the continuous relationship with you and discrete ones with the other women. It's the discreet ones you have to worry about. Know your homonyms. After you have the kid, he'll keep you so busy, you'll be thankful to have the rat bastard out whoring himself around town.
xsonggx 0
wow
ImaginaryFoe 0
Maybe a discrete relationship is exactly what he wanted, one completely separate from his current one. I think that is even more disconcerting than a discreet one. Or maybe Craigslist just needs a new webmaster.
jomsuc 0
perhaps someone else borrowed her smartphone and used the browser. c'mon, expand your mindset dude. not everything you see or hear is what it seems.
levy2 0
yea
Zimonada 8
I like how you complain about her typo when you yourself made 2. :x
paigeownsyou 0
This happened to me also, I hate craigslist.
DGross 8
This comment was too tired to make it to it's original destination and instead settled for the bottom of the thread... poor comment :-(
gregsdaman 0
wow,u guys r cool,.snickerdoodle or what ever the **** it is,Monica, and benen. u guys r cool for arguing on an fml. if any of u are over 16 u should kill urselves...and u can reply if u want to but I have a life so I'm not gonna look at this again. I WIN
Monikabug 9
Yep, you definitely won. You should go throw yourself a party in recognition of your victory against the big bad "snickerdoodle," "Monica" and that one kid, Benen.
itz_towelie 6
rodney king once said, "ow ow, stop hittin me! ow ouch dammit that hurts!" then later he said, "can't we all just get along?" i think we can all learn from both... or not i dont giv a shit
gregsdaman 0
I will go throw a party bc I have a life :)
SarcasticAvenger 9
Riiiiiiiiiiight, just happened to look in the phone history.