Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML
Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML
Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML
Today, my boyfriend went through my phone while I was in the bathroom, to check if I was cheating. I'm not. He was looking for some leverage for when he told me he's been fucking my best friend for the last year, he could use something against me. FML
Today, I tried to go to my Hotmail account on my boyfriend's computer. When I typed in "hot", a big history list came down. It was all "Hot single mom looking for a good lay" Craigslist ads. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has an account on a sex hookup site. He said it has "interesting articles" and that he'd completed his profile and listed his sexual preferences out of boredom. When I told him to sign in and prove he hadn't been messaging girls, he refused and called me paranoid. FML
Today, I realized that my fiancée is using our son to make sure we can't have sex. He's two years-old and hasn't once slept in his own bed or crib. FML
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Top comments
Fedor_is_KING 0
You should confront him by answering the ad, or you could chop his dick off while he sleeps. Either one would be pretty funny.
crazeelife12 0
so what was playing?
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Comments (309)
Zephyric 0
Confront the douchebag and if he doesn't fess up, leave him.
benen 0
dammit!!!!!! I had the first comment but they removed it and snickerdoodles leave no one likes u
Monikabug 9
I like her. I think she is witty and insightful. I think that you, benen, are annoying and a troll. You should probably go... :)
thump_fml 0
everybody looks at those. but you should confront him.
Ajjas013 6
I'm asexual. Nice to meet you :)
Fedor_is_KING 0
You should confront him by answering the ad, or you could chop his dick off while he sleeps. Either one would be pretty funny.
Barthanax 9
And you'd save a lot of women future grief from him being a cheater (cutting his dick off, not answering the ad. That would be funny though.)
manderrzzbabyy 0
haha ddaayyyyuuuummmmm , I woulda slapped hiss assssss.
Taylorfacepwns 0
omgggg your postssss areeee reallyyyyyyy bitchyyyyy snickerrrrrrdooooooooodlesssssss :)
Monikabug 9
Almost as bitchy as yours, Taylor. ツ
Cynical_AbInitio 0
Monika, I agree with what you said in your earlier posts about people always bashing on Snickerdoodles but I have to say, she does deserve it sometimes. I mean Taylorfacepwns had a point, why does she feel the need to bash on people whhooo likkkkkkeee toooooo typpppppe likkkke thisssss? It's the Internet. People are essentially lawless. Just sayin O_o
DGross 8
hehe... assssssss looks so much more silly than ass...just saying :-P
benen 0
I love bacon ¿?¿!¡!¡€$£¥₩
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Best. Advice. Ever. You're so much better than Dr. Phil :]
Giorgio272 2
well babe you got owned. next time give yo man the attention he deserves. or he will go out ad find hot young thangs to suck his dick instead of you. also stop being a bitch. your the woman so you should cook and clean more.
look_its_me 0
amen.
bkina 0
ya right we luve in a equal world men and women task are diveded equaly us a ******* ass whole
benen 0
giggity giggity I'm not a troll grandma go be a slurry b!tch or a rapist some where else and please bring me my flipping sandwhich
Monikabug 9
Grandma? really? Maybe in comparison to a 5 year old child like you.
Xxdom4073xX 0
Rapist, really... Are you gay? She doesn't exactly look like an 'old slutty lil grandma' And she could "rape" me any day, really.
ImaginaryFoe 0
Monika, you know better than to feed the trolls! Especially the obvious and lame ones. Trolls should at least be funny. Ugh.
Monikabug 9
I know, I know. Shame on me!
benen 0
no ur a towel
Cynical_AbInitio 0
@ImaginaryFoe I think the dumber trolls are quite funny actually. They're in their own little world and they think their insults are a hit. Btw like your name. What's it supposed to represent.
itz_towelie 6
no you're a towele!.... wanna get high?
dinoxchrist 0
@236 yes? XD
FlamingChicken 0
the little boy in two month is probably the reason