By JohnBlack - 12/06/2012 03:56 - United States

Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 422
You deserved it 3 954

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True equality is never equal.

Isn't it just normal to hold the door open for anyone? I'm a female and I hold a door for male, female, older or younger because where I'm from its not an act of chivalry but courtesy.


True equality is never equal.

I personally don't find chivalry offensive, it's respecting the woman.

Ooh I like that one! My fortune cookie was empty, those cheap bastards. complicated

Isn't it just normal to hold the door open for anyone? I'm a female and I hold a door for male, female, older or younger because where I'm from its not an act of chivalry but courtesy.

Indeed, common courtesy not to let a door slam in someone's face.

#33 I do the same thing . . . unless I am not paying attention . . . in which case I feel like a complete jerk for a few hours before I forget about it . . . then there are those frustrating times when you hold the door open for someone only to find them a lot farther away than you originally determined and so you have to wait for them to leisurely approach and pass through the doorway . . . but that tangent aside, I find that sometimes men won't pass through the door if I open it . . . like they are convinced I have enchanted the door so that when they walk through it they will instantly become gay and fall in love with me . . . or they give me this offensive look like I am questioning their manhood . . . but to address the OP: Do what kindness you deem appropriate, not what others tell you is appropriate. If you like to open doors for people, then open them, and care not for ridicule. If however you don't like doing it at all, then don't do it. Lives will (most likely) not be ruined by this simple slight.

I feel as if holding the door has nothing to do with chivalry, it's just something you do because you don't want to be rude. I mean come on, no one wants the door swinging back and hitting them in the face. (:

VaultDweller106 7

Whoever told you chivalry is offensive needs to pull their heads out of their asses. It's called being nice to the opposite gender.

#33 I see it a little different. Holding a door open for anyone behind you is normal, just so they don't walk right, face-first into the door. But holding a door open for a woman and let them pass first, is more like chivalry, well that's how I think about it.

william8691 10

Women.. Complicated, but beautiful creatures.

57- to add to your rant, what about when you hold the door open for men and they grab hold of it like they have to hold it open for themselves...

108- I wouldn't see it as chivalry. I see it as someone just being kind and helping out in the smallest way! And I am a woman

150 I think you're looking at the gesture in a wrong way since I always hold the door, especially when it's closing somewhat fast, and regardless of whether male or female

JurassicHole 5

I always hold the door open for women and have been scorned many times, but I always respond with "I'm sorry, I meant no offense. Hope you have a nice day". Now, usually they've stormed off to probably text up their fellow femin-azi's about some you guy having the GALL to open a door for her. Some people just can't handle kindness and/or being courteous.

JurassicHole 5

Young guy*

I don't mind feminism, I don't. I'm happy with what they're doing for us females. But when they get angry over the smallest things, it's the most annoying thing. One of my favorite artists drew a picture including males and females and many feminists on the site it was located took offense because the females were jutting out their hips and showing some thigh. It's just a picture of fictional characters, what does it matter!?

It is impossible to thumb #57 on the iPhone -.-

Iknoweverything 29

I'm a woman, and I find feminists annoying. It's just a damn door, it's just damn chivalry. It's not like a door-holding man is trying to make you less equal, he's just being polite. Go find something more important to bitch about. Your boss won't give you a raise because you're female? Go feminist on his ass. But seriously... to be offended by someone holding a DOOR open for you?

SousapCody 6

198 - Swipe left or right anywhere on the comment. You don't have to tap on the thumbs. You're welcome. :)

biasedshooter 24

Personally i think women signed away all prefered treatment the day they got equality. I will treat you as a person not a "man" or "woman" because that just encourages me to think of the two as very different species instead of two equal sides of the same coin. That being said i am always very polite to everyone that i meet. I will admit that i do treat women i have an interest in in a somewhat chivalric way. This is not because they're a woman but because i wish for another human being who just happens to have rather attractive qualities such as a sense of humor and the ability to bear children to enjoy my company.

kiran_fml 5

I always say thank you because honestly it doesn't happen so often anymore that a guy will go through the entire act of opening a door and letting you go first.

welcome to the real world

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24, 38, it might be because of that attitude that women aren't happy with you.

I agree that people have all rights too although people get offended when people treat them equaly sometimes

24, bet all those negative thumbs on your comment were from women... As well as the ones I will most likely get.

Nope. I thumbed you down for sounding like a fool and agreeing with a generalization.

77 - I thumbed down 24 and 38 for sounding like complete pricks. But I thumbed you up because you showed me that not all people are like them. :)

The pure irony!!!! 24 is a girl xD

I'll be happy :D either that or I'm taking you down with me.

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He just said that...

frankothetanko 0

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88- Are you illiterate by any chance?

He was merely agreeing with him. Why all the thumbs down?

Hiimhaileypotter 52

OP said, "I can't win." #3 repeated that.

Don't sweat it. Do what you wanna do

I hold the door for anyone who's walking. Unless the guy runs ahead of me and really wants to. I was taught to hold the door for the person behind you.

Err on the side of chivalry. ;)

msl1333 4

I'm not sure this is even chivalry. I think it's just polite to hold the door open for someone coming in behind you; man or woman.

I agree. I'm a woman and I hold the door open for people coming behind me. I expect others to do the same. I don't expect men to hold doors open for me and stand aside so I can enter first. Anyone that returns politeness with rudeness is a bitch, regardless of gender.

I think the distinction is that it's chivalrous when you hold a door open and let the woman go first, but it's common courtesy when you hold the door open for the person behind you regardless of their sex.

wlddog 14

Some women are just plain haters. You could hand them a wad of money and they would find a reason to be offended.

usor_name 11

I would still open the door for a woman. It is still considered the gentlemanly thing to do. Maybe I am old fashioned.

Well woman wanted equal rights. They open their own door. They stand on a bus when all the seats are taken (unless there are other circumstances). Equal rights also mean. Woman slaps man, man slaps woman. That's equality.

Yeah probably not. It was just an example because I seem to hear a lot of stories where girls and slapping guys. I don't know why but I seem to hear about it frequently.

If a man hits a woman, she can walk it off. It might hurt, bit she'll survive without any real permanent damage. If a woman hits a man in the balls hard enough, he'll be grovelling on the ground for an hour or more, not to mention potential loss of the ability to have children. What was that about men being able to inflict more damage? On a side note, I do agree that hitting someone is wrong "no matter how you slice it" though.

i always hold a door open for a woman. i just find it annoying when they don't say thank you.

I hold the door open for everyone, men or women. It's just the polite thing to do and the way I was raised. It doesn't have to just be men doing it for women...

ChickInGreenVans 12

No you not old fashioned.. Its just common courtesy:D!!

"If a man hits a woman, she can walk it off." Hitting, boy, they're talking about hitting. Not tickling.

42 - according to equal rights activists that is totally untrue as that would mean men are also more capable of performing work duties which involve physical labor... Hitting ANYONE is wrong, regardless of gender, however in the times we live in now a man hitting a woman is no worse than a woman hitting a man... Women who think otherwise have extreme feminists to thank for that.

DeadxManxWalking 27

6- I still do. It's just a nice thing to do.

Chivalry is dead but it's still kinda cute

notsorandomguy: No. Absolutely not. "she can walk it off" Are you high, or just pain stupid? Even if you think a girl can "walk off" a slap from a guy, is it not still common courtesy (or common sense, even) not to raise your hand to them? My goodness, if this is the mindset of my generation then give me a one way ticket to the next galaxy. Bottom line, nobody should be hitting anyone. But a man most definitely shouldn't raise his hand to a woman. Fool.

129 - I totally just read "Fool" in a Mr. T voice.

I hope you all realize how society thinks its funny when women beat men, but horrifying if a man beats a woman. They're both bad, and I'm sickened by double standards of reverse-sexism.

I don't hit people until they hit me. If someone intentionally hurts me then I hurt them regardless of who they are. Equality. :)

61 you're comparing two completely different situations? You're comparing a man maybe slapping a girl in the face with a small amount of force because she put mayo in his sandwich, to a crazy bitch of a woman out to kill the guy. Let's try putting an average man and an average woman in a cage. The woman killed the man's wife, and the man killed the woman's son. They're both pretty pissed. Who inflicts more damage? I don't know about you, but as an average woman, I'd probably back out of that fight.

Ninjasaurus18 9

165- You've got right. If a man hits a woman, she can hit back and if a woman hits a man (or kicks him 'there'), he can hit back. If someone wants I hurt someone, regardless of gender, they should be hit back. And if a man opens a door for a woman, and there are two doors, (a door, then a walkway-room-thingy then a door) she had damn better open the door for him, unless carrying a lot of stuff and that's why he opened the door in the first place. Vice versa on the man and woman. Equality at its finest.

Ninjasaurus18 9

19- You open a door for a man, for a woman, for an ostrich, camel and for a camel-ostrich baby. It's being polite.

Not just for women, but for everybody as well right..?

Well I just hold the door for the people behind me, but I deem that so "normal" that I would be surprised if they thanked me. "Thank you for not throwing the door in my face" ?


182- Since when do women have more tolerance for pain? Im not trying to sound sexist or anything, but I've never heard that before. Correct me if im wrong.

229 - women say it all the time not realizing its sexist, they try to prove theyre tougher than a man by saying that since they can stretch their hoo-hah out to pass a child through it and endure that pain then they are tougher than men...

maliki32 7

You should know that when women say they don't want you to do something for them, it means they actually do want you to do it. They're crazy.

OneLittleAdditio 9

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So if i tell a guy I really don't want anal, that means i actually do want it? And here i am not even knowing all this time i‘ve been depriving my own self of buttsex!

OneLittleAdditio 9

Touché 37 Touché

That's bs dude. There are some occasions where it's true by most of the time we say what we mean.

7- yup! Sometime's that's true! Like when we cry and say "Leave me alone!" that means "please hug and console me." ^_^

Chivalry is the way to go dude. You wanna be nice, not mean when it comes to girls. :)

Yeah but as the fml points out you have *some* women that feel they can speak for *all* women. Just remember to not help the bitch that said that at all.

8 - that seems to get you "friend zoned" a lot of the time.

Sairagna 2

Or just people in general?

olpally 32

I'm still a believer in chivalry... The last girl I was with was a complete bitch though... She was totally un-grateful for what I could offer her and she took advantage of my niceness... I was still a nice guy even after she broke up with me... I learned a lot to say the least... Chivalry still exists for me :)

Thinking that a special kind of action is sexistic is usually more sexistic than the action itself. Be yourself and hold whatever doors you want to and don't give a fuck to the world!

Not being sarcastic but I thought it was sexist not sexistic? Dare I call the grammar/spelling nazis?

Too late, I've been summoned by the smell of poor grammar. You're quite right; "sexistic" is not a word, "sexist" is the one he's looking for.

#34 You have saved us all.

Glad I could be of service. Grammar Nazi awaaaay!

lmao can't even spell first of all......

^Can't even read, or bothered to put down any form of punctuation.

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"hey, you there walking, do you want me to hold this door?" Me, from a mile away "why...yes" *awkward run to door*

Epsilonyx 15

Hahaha, thank you for giving me a hilarious visual, 71.