By upyours - 22/5/2020 17:00 - Australia

Leech

Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML

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1885

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Commando

Kitchen nightmares

Childfree

By Anonymous - United States - Newtown

Today, my crush fell asleep on me on the bus. This would have been fantastic if I didn't immediately have an erection in her ear. FML

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8003

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1323

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By SkinsCastSelection - France

Today, during a drunken night out, a really trashed friend said to me, "Jeez, even when I’m drunk, you're really ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33474

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4067

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By Alejandroc - Honduras

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me with a message that I had to pay $1 to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32060

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3447

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By gentileman - United States

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks

588066

You deserved it

99701

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By microlovin - United States - Pasadena

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65541

You deserved it

9229

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that my grandma has been sending me birthday money every year. My mom just steals it before I ever see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57314

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3259

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By TVKill3r - United States

Today, at work while near a cigarette tray outside, a man said, "Thanks for polluting our environment!" All I could say was, "What?" He then said "I'm speaking English you know!" I was cleaning the cigarette tray at the time, don't smoke at all, and was born here. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36726

You deserved it

2742

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By whoawhat - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store where I work to pick up my pay check. After I got it, I headed back to the dorms to take a quick nap before Chemistry later. I woke up, and my check was gone. I later found it. In the form of a text from my roommate saying he gambled away 'our' money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34453

You deserved it

4000

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By RatCityChick - United States - Bellevue

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30320

You deserved it

4839

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By Anonymous - United States - Grand Junction

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

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45671

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10763

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By "QueenCortana Tiffany Turner"

Temper tantrum

Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2194

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273

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By FuckLife - Australia

Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32344

You deserved it

2470

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By Samantha - Canada

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

I agree, your life sucks

50042

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21786

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By cacheson - 2/3/2020 12:07

Forever Alone

Today, I finally felt the inspiration to write creatively again. I worked for an hour on a character concept before I realized I'd actually created an imaginary sister/best friend for myself because I’m so lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1346

You deserved it

181

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By Sad preggo

Today, my attention-seeking sister-in-law came to my 20 week ultrasound and afterward, without my knowledge, took it upon herself to announce the gender to Facebook and call the entire family, telling them "we're having a boy" nullifying any need for the announcement I had spent 4 weeks planning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7605

You deserved it

730

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband decided to drain his motorcycle oil into an empty bottle of laundry detergent. Also today, I decided to lift a stain out of my white comforter with some detergent I found in the garage. FML

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34818

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12343

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By Ouch

Getting a head start on the Halloween look

Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1378

You deserved it

164

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By fail - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years called me on Skype while he was taking a crap. Think it's a sign that maybe we've been dating for too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28183

You deserved it

5823

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By WeighYourWords - Belgium - Overheid

Today, my overweight colleague twisted his ankle. He's pretty self-conscious about his weight, but I had a brain-fart and told him he shouldn't try to put too much weight on it. His feelings are more hurt than his ankle now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13289

You deserved it

1900

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By ScaryOldMan - United States

Today, while trying to sleep, I kept hearing this groan/scream for help for about an hour. I decided to call 911 to send someone to investigate. Police came, I received a $100 parking fine and another citation for improper use of 911. The noise? Just a dog howling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29531

You deserved it

13209

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By stepshart - Canada - Thunder Bay

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

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45870

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3041

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By Sad and hungry - 25/4/2020 17:00

Tasty!

Today, my in-laws invited us over to dinner. I decided to help out in the kitchen and watched in horror as my mother-in-law licked every utensil, sucked her fingers while making the plates and slurped wine straight from the bottle. My husband said I was rude for refusing to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1805

You deserved it

209

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By Che_likes_you - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32039

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2834

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By Anonymous

Today, I found out I have a new allergy: the sun. My face is so swollen that it has started to bleed to relieve the pressure. Today is also day 6 of the 3-month European trip that I spent all year saving for. FML

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4282

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304

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By epic flash

Wild Child

Today, my daughter's quirkiness and eccentricities may have gone to a whole new level when her school faculty described her as "no stranger to LSD". She's 5. FML

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3011

You deserved it

240

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By milked - United States

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

36237

You deserved it

6821

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By ohhhman - United States

Today, one of the Haitians that works in the kitchen at my restaurant said something to me. Usually I can't understand them and I just smile and laugh, so that's what I did this time. Later, I found out he was trying to tell me his father had passed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19656

You deserved it

58029

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By Anonymous - United States - Albuquerque

Today, at a family reunion, my grandpa loudly said that I look like "a cheap Vegas whore" because of my heavy purple eye-shadow. I could tell that a few other people agreed. I was too embarrassed to explain that the "eye-shadow" was just dark circles. FML

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24385

You deserved it

2383

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By Anonymous - South Africa

Pragmatic

Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was, "This is less work and less involving." FML

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24548

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4811

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By snowbum69 - United States - Meridian

Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53318

You deserved it

5815

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By Hapaboy808 - 8/7/2020 23:01

The final countdown

Today, I'm sharing an apartment in a foreign country with my soon-to-be ex. There are 6 months left on the contract, so we both decided to live here until then to save money. She earns enough to afford her own place. Me on the other hand… FML

I agree, your life sucks

1169

You deserved it

338

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By milkysubstance - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5024

You deserved it

479

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By loser - United States

Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13440

You deserved it

34728

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By fuck - Netherlands

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to "Get a life. Or better pickup lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32365

You deserved it

4021

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22135

You deserved it

6876

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By segal1010 - United States - Potomac

Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40771

You deserved it

4280

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By MGDS - United States - Pine Grove

Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41109

You deserved it

3246

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By The Draught of Living Death

Today, I shared an elevator alone with an attractive co-worker. On our way up, she let out a loud, noxious rip. She covered her nose and mouth while giving me an accusing look, as I said with a straight face, "Excuse you." Later, I received a note from HR for harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4505

You deserved it

256

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By dumped - United States - Atlanta

Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24382

You deserved it

2441

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By ouch - Canada - Charlottetown

Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30578

You deserved it

6180

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Top comments

By Baby_123 | 8

#7908054 - Friday 22 May 2020 17:38

Step 1 HR
Step 2 Lawsuit
Step 3 get the idiot fired

By GamerChickxoxo | 16

#7908073 - Friday 22 May 2020 18:37

not every company or small business has hr, there may not be a level above this boss,cops/lawyer lawsuit, its only gonna get worse if you let it slide.

COMMENTS

By Kurliez408 | 32

#7908052 - Friday 22 May 2020 17:30

HR. now.

By Baby_123 | 8

#7908054 - Friday 22 May 2020 17:38

Step 1 HR
Step 2 Lawsuit
Step 3 get the idiot fired

By GamerChickxoxo | 16

#7908073 - Friday 22 May 2020 18:37

not every company or small business has hr, there may not be a level above this boss,cops/lawyer lawsuit, its only gonna get worse if you let it slide.

By AmbrosiaFan | 18

#7908093 - Friday 22 May 2020 20:15

Report the skeevy fuck.

By mmm1810 | 22

#7908101 - Friday 22 May 2020 20:33

Is your boss Joe Biden?

IamComrade | 16

#7908117 - Friday 22 May 2020 23:45

Nah, creepy Uncle Joe is into children.

ojoRojo | 27

#7908245 - Saturday 23 May 2020 16:27

Sounds more like trump

By John Martin | 5

#7908156 - Saturday 23 May 2020 8:07

Tell him you’re sure he will appreciate being unemployed if his behavior continues. Recommend your last job to him, as a hint of what he could be doing soon...

By sickerthanyou | 13

#7908506 - Sunday 24 May 2020 19:29

That’s what happens when you work for Trump, and don’t expected to get paid neither