By upyours - 22/5/2020 17:00 - Australia

Leech

Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML

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1865

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Social distancing gone wrong

Not a cheating!

Bad news

By howannoying - 16/2/2013 06:24 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage". When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML

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31194

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By babygurl69 - 20/1/2009 21:38 - Canada

Today, I woke up with a hangover, but went to school anyway without showering, applying makeup, and still wearing my pajama bottoms. While taking the subway, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen a year. His new girlfriend looked at me and said, "You look... tired." FML

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12748

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By Anonymous - 3/7/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and must have rolled off. When I woke up, I noticed my braces were stuck to the rug. After frantically pulling, my mom finally sawed me off the rug with scissors. FML

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41475

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By Andrew - 14/7/2015 17:59 - United States - Blackwood

Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a reptile?" FML

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24816

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By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 11:16 - United States - Woodinville

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

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35341

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By rinala - 1/7/2012 07:07

Today, my boyfriend decided to start an argument and storm off the train we were on. Two stops later, ticket inspectors hopped on the train. He had our tickets. FML

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25695

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By flea-bitten - 6/4/2013 19:41 - United States

Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML

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48205

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By Anonymous - 22/3/2017 17:00 - United States - Troy

Today, I saw some pretty heinous graffiti on the urinal stall at school, so I opted to scribble it out. A supervisor came in the second the pen touched the stall. Now I have detention and have to scrub the entire stall clean as a "lesson". FML

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4270

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By Anonymous - 29/4/2011 12:53 - New Zealand

Today, my boyfriend of nearly two years broke up with me because he's sick of me being annoyed at him. Why am I annoyed at him? Because he wants to go and spend a week with his ex. FML

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41425

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By How strange - 20/4/2013 12:02 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML

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By stumpy - 31/7/2019 18:00

Today, we were running late because my hair got tangled in the curtains. My mother-in-law got so angry, she hacked at it, leaving me with a bald patch, then went and sat in the car as though we were still going anywhere with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1788

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By initforthewrongreasons - 18/5/2017 02:00

Today, I texted my exes, not because I missed them, but because I wanted to know how their pets were doing. This holds true for at least 4 relationships. FML

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3546

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1230

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By xxx - 3/9/2017 04:29

Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3546

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By FreshFaced - 12/6/2011 11:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I went into work for the first time without make-up. My boss thought I looked so tired and ill that he sent me home. FML

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40885

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By mental - 25/10/2012 23:09 - United States

Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML

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25515

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By prego - 30/4/2009 02:03 - United States

Today, I called my mom into my room to ask her to bring me something. She reffered to me as a "lazy fat slug." I'm 38 weeks pregnant and was put on emergancy bedrest by my doctor. FML

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69509

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By Steve.mc - 1/5/2011 07:03 - Canada

Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML

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37343

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By ljjprchf - 13/12/2009 01:29 - Australia

Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML

I agree, your life sucks

28132

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By Th3BaconNinja - 8/6/2010 02:21 - United States

Today, I had a date with a girl at a fancy restaurant. In the middle of it she says, "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." I watched her get up, walk over to the door, leave, get in her car, and drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44867

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By rofld - 14/7/2010 16:47 - United States

Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML

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17808

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By lowly worker - 8/4/2017 18:00

Today, I nearly lost a hand at work, because a supervisor decided to remove a 'useless' safety guard on a machine despite my warnings. He doesn't understand why I'm so upset with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6563

You deserved it

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By Bear - 1/2/2009 17:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until she shouted at him to go harder. FML

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48229

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By Lovers lost... - 24/3/2018 19:00

Today, my crush won the bet that I made with him yesterday. The bet? That he couldn't land a date by the end of the day. Not only am I down $10, but a possible boyfriend too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1913

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By Dee Dee - 22/5/2020 08:00

In these times

Today, my husband and I purchased a new-used truck, after being assured for weeks by the company owner we work for that the company will remain open. Later, we received an email saying that the office is closing permanently. Our jobs are "secure", but he needs help selling and moving the equipment. FML

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1290

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By antiqued - 20/12/2012 05:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39949

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 14/7/2014 17:45 - United States - Lititz

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

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44136

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5584

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By lost_ina_dream - 21/2/2010 01:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary at the park. I was watching him play around with the wood chips on the ground and thought I saw him making a heart being romantic, so I got on top of the playground to look. Turns out it was the balls of a giant penis, complete with pubes. FML

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21698

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By awesome - 11/4/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, I was sitting at my computer, listening and singing along to some music. I started singing louder, thinking that I was pretty good. Just then, my mom comes barging through the door in a frenzy saying, "Are you all right? Are you hurt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

42948

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By Anonymous - 30/10/2009 12:05 - United States

Today, my mom tells my sister that she is worried about her because she has a headache and feels like she might be getting a slight cold. I have had the flu for two weeks and have a 103 degree fever. I ask, "What about me?" Her response? "Stay away from your sister." FML

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36157

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By fuckshitcockwaffle - 31/5/2013 14:59 - Australia - Bayswater

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

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33465

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By marie0908 - 17/12/2014 05:29 - France - Siros

Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML

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36160

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By pyrogypsy - 24/10/2014 01:05 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was the weird girl on the city bus who falls asleep then makes a loud, weird noise and wakes herself up. FML

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33216

You deserved it

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By ouchieouch - 7/1/2011 18:14 - United States

Today, I burned myself while cooking, so I asked my mom to get the burn cream while I waited in the kitchen. While I was waiting, I absentmindedly set my hand on the hot stove, earning myself a second burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9338

You deserved it

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By terrified - 18/1/2012 19:02 - United States

Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML

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32739

You deserved it

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By blotchy-girl - 15/7/2009 04:00 - New Zealand

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML

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41956

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By pissedoff - 28/6/2016 11:53 - United States - Benton

Today, my morning started off by stepping in my dog's piss by the door. Then, stepping in my husband's piss by the toilet. FML

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13776

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By Anonymous - 23/8/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

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By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 21:31 - Ireland

Today, I accidentally left my sister's hamster's cage open and it escaped. My dad recently put mouse traps down. Guess where I found her. FML

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13858

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By anonymous - 18/12/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39285

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By Rev - 18/3/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I was working at Coldstone. When a customer tips us we are required to sing. A late night DJ came in, put 20 dollars in the tip cup, and asked to hear every song we had. After we sang one song he looked at me and asked me to please stop singing or he was taking his money back. FML

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Top comments

By Baby_123 | 8

#7908054 - Friday 22 May 2020 17:38

Step 1 HR
Step 2 Lawsuit
Step 3 get the idiot fired

By GamerChickxoxo | 16

#7908073 - Friday 22 May 2020 18:37

not every company or small business has hr, there may not be a level above this boss,cops/lawyer lawsuit, its only gonna get worse if you let it slide.

COMMENTS

By Kurliez408 | 32

#7908052 - Friday 22 May 2020 17:30

HR. now.

By Baby_123 | 8

#7908054 - Friday 22 May 2020 17:38

Step 1 HR
Step 2 Lawsuit
Step 3 get the idiot fired

By GamerChickxoxo | 16

#7908073 - Friday 22 May 2020 18:37

not every company or small business has hr, there may not be a level above this boss,cops/lawyer lawsuit, its only gonna get worse if you let it slide.

By AmbrosiaFan | 18

#7908093 - Friday 22 May 2020 20:15

Report the skeevy fuck.

By mmm1810 | 22

#7908101 - Friday 22 May 2020 20:33

Is your boss Joe Biden?

IamComrade | 16

#7908117 - Friday 22 May 2020 23:45

Nah, creepy Uncle Joe is into children.

ojoRojo | 23

#7908245 - Saturday 23 May 2020 16:27

Sounds more like trump

By John Martin | 5

#7908156 - Saturday 23 May 2020 8:07

Tell him you’re sure he will appreciate being unemployed if his behavior continues. Recommend your last job to him, as a hint of what he could be doing soon...

By sickerthanyou | 13

#7908506 - Sunday 24 May 2020 19:29

That’s what happens when you work for Trump, and don’t expected to get paid neither