By upyours - Australia

Leech

Today, after telling my boss that trailing a hand up someone's leg and leering at them constantly is counted as sexual harassment, I got called an "unappreciative little whiny bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1899

You deserved it

162

Favorite

Taking stock

Unreasonable

Narcissistic parents

By lft - United States

Today, I called over my math teacher to ask a question. I have a really bad cold. I asked him about a problem and he reached over my desk to point at the diagram and explain it. Then I suddenly had to sneeze and I got tons of snot all over his hand and arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48851

You deserved it

10133

Favorite

By sober - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

79286

You deserved it

4305

Favorite

By ShameMonkey - Australia - Glen Waverley

Today, while commuting to work on a peak hour train, I lost my balance and accidentally grabbed a bald mans head to steady myself. To make matters worse, the words "oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a knob" came out of my mouth before I could think about what I was saying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11152

You deserved it

1954

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Cortland

Today, I was fixing the plumbing at my father-in-law's house. I told him to shut off the water and yell to me when he did. A few minutes later, I heard a yell and removed the pipe. I was met with a face full of water. Turns out he was just very excited when the Rangers beat the Mariners. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39851

You deserved it

3821

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks

73932

You deserved it

23549

Favorite

By Wtffmlfs

Modern Family

Today, I dawned on me that my step-dad, who cheated on and is now divorcing my mom, is my favorite family member. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1340

You deserved it

155

Favorite

By Fenny - United States

Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15360

You deserved it

74430

Favorite

By "PineappleOfMyEye"

I went to check my grade that was posted for an essay for my comp 1 class. I got a zero. I was devastated only to find out I never actually clicked the submit document button. My grade dropped 20 points.

I agree, your life sucks

1926

You deserved it

2412

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up finding out I had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything, aparently I talked through out my dream, she was right next to me listening. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34652

You deserved it

5891

Favorite

By Awkward - United States

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43545

You deserved it

3135

Favorite

By addie19 - United States

Today, I found out the antibiotics I'm taking can cause you to vomit unexpectedly. In the car. While driving. To work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29645

You deserved it

2919

Favorite

By kennarama - United States

Today, I sat a client down for his haircut. He pulled off his hat and his hair was dripping wet. I asked him if he had just washed it. He responded, "No, but isn't it a hot day out?" No, it's twenty degrees and overcast today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29512

You deserved it

2529

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24623

You deserved it

3702

Favorite

By Tag - Australia - Sydney

Today, a male friend of mine tried to kiss me. When I shoved him away and demanded to know what the fuck he was doing, he said he didn't think I was really a lesbian because I went on a date with a guy. Once. Over 15 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28156

You deserved it

2741

Favorite

By really - Canada - Ottawa

Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggest that she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill myself because of my severe medical condition". FML

I agree, your life sucks

12496

You deserved it

1011

Favorite

By Hannah - United States

Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets as excited as he does when he gets a chopper gunner on Black Ops. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38940

You deserved it

7882

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Montreal

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

I agree, your life sucks

41203

You deserved it

4579

Favorite

By SleeplessinNJ - 20/10/2020 17:02 - United States - Raritan

Kick the bum out

Today, after spending money on all the furniture and decor in our apartment, paying rent every month from my bank account, paying for all the groceries, and paying for all the dog supplies, my fiance asked why I don't keep saving thousands of dollars every month, while he pays for none of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1041

You deserved it

393

Favorite

By Rain

Today, I discovered my own mother has been stealing money from me for months when I opened my savings box to find it empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9880

You deserved it

682

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Anchorage

Today, my sister put a piece of leather in my homemade beef jerkey to prove a point. I ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2143

You deserved it

1342

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40175

You deserved it

5612

Favorite

By Pepe - France

Today, my girlfriend said to me, "You know, you only have to wash 3 times a week to be clean." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33460

You deserved it

7797

Favorite

By Paco4242 - United States

Today, I found out that my 'girlfriend', who I've been emailing with, was really my friend playing a prank on me. He asked me for naked pictures of myself and I sent them to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24819

You deserved it

78086

Favorite

By TeddyBearKiller - United States

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47574

You deserved it

3273

Favorite

By couturier - France

Today, I emptied out a bottle of water onto my porch as I was going into my house. Only a couple of hours later, I decided to leave and slipped on what had turned into ice, bruised my tailbone and sprained my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8925

You deserved it

36091

Favorite

By ThirdWheelHell - United States - Farmville

Today, I had a date with a guy. We ran into our gay friend at the theater, who insisted on coming along. My date was pissed, but I couldn't turn our friend away. Afterwards, my date texted our friend, mad because he crashed the date. Turns out he isn't gay. And only crashed it because he likes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12908

You deserved it

3479

Favorite

By diskdude13 - United States

Today, I just let out all my feeling for a woman that I have loved for 22 years. When I finished she said "You're so funny" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36549

You deserved it

6394

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I got an e-mail from a guy I'd had a one night stand with. He wanted to get together to talk about it. Turns out he's in rehab and he wanted to address the biggest mistakes he'd ever made in his life. I am a on a drug addict's list of regrets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64097

You deserved it

14795

Favorite

By Ca13b - United States

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47909

You deserved it

3923

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Dumpy baby

Today, on my birthday, my mother described my birth like a large, painful bowel movement in front of all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1355

You deserved it

140

Favorite

By lingadoo - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31953

You deserved it

4832

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/9/2020 05:02

The Summoner

Today, I've lived in my apartment for over 5 years with no bugs, as I'm phobic of them. I broke up with my ex, who smirked at me and declared war. I now have thousands of roaches that I can't get rid of. Coincidence? FML

I agree, your life sucks

1360

You deserved it

123

Favorite

By WhyMe

Today, at work, a customer was staring at me for a long time. Hoping to break the awkwardness, I asked him what brought him to the store today. He complimented me on my friendly demeanor and then followed up with: "Since you're so friendly, how about coming in the bathroom with me and giving me a hand?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

6096

You deserved it

349

Favorite

By Order of the Dangling Testicles - United States - Astoria

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54011

You deserved it

4307

Favorite

By ReineXre

Weirdo

Today, I went to the bathroom in a mall. As I was in the stall, a woman tried to open it. I yelled out that's it was occupied but she kept shaking it to open it. It came up to the point where she had to crawl under the door to see that I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15378

You deserved it

707

Favorite

By Talvesh - United States

Today, I had my six month employee review. My manager said that my attendance was good, and I was exceeding my targets performance wise. My reward, a five cent per hour pay cut. Apparently the rate at which I started is too high to meet their current pay scale. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29929

You deserved it

2139

Favorite

By Anonymous - South Africa - Pinetown

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33024

You deserved it

3318

Favorite

By Sally - United States

Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3718

You deserved it

1273

Favorite

By why me - United States - Milford

Today, I bought a brand new Wii U. My cat must have thought the wires looked tasty because he chewed through each of them, which will now cost me another $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11301

You deserved it

1896

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Beaverton

Today, I had my first job interview after three years of unemployment. I was so happy that I broke down into tears the moment I saw the interviewer. Great first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42361

You deserved it

6553

Favorite

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Top comments

By Baby_123 | 8

#7908054 - Friday 22 May 2020 17:38

Step 1 HR
Step 2 Lawsuit
Step 3 get the idiot fired

By GamerChickxoxo | 16

#7908073 - Friday 22 May 2020 18:37

not every company or small business has hr, there may not be a level above this boss,cops/lawyer lawsuit, its only gonna get worse if you let it slide.

COMMENTS

By Kurliez408 | 32

#7908052 - Friday 22 May 2020 17:30

HR. now.

By Baby_123 | 8

#7908054 - Friday 22 May 2020 17:38

Step 1 HR
Step 2 Lawsuit
Step 3 get the idiot fired

By GamerChickxoxo | 16

#7908073 - Friday 22 May 2020 18:37

not every company or small business has hr, there may not be a level above this boss,cops/lawyer lawsuit, its only gonna get worse if you let it slide.

By AmbrosiaFan | 18

#7908093 - Friday 22 May 2020 20:15

Report the skeevy fuck.

By mmm1810 | 22

#7908101 - Friday 22 May 2020 20:33

Is your boss Joe Biden?

IamComrade | 16

#7908117 - Friday 22 May 2020 23:45

Nah, creepy Uncle Joe is into children.

ojoRojo | 27

#7908245 - Saturday 23 May 2020 16:27

Sounds more like trump

By John Martin | 5

#7908156 - Saturday 23 May 2020 8:07

Tell him you’re sure he will appreciate being unemployed if his behavior continues. Recommend your last job to him, as a hint of what he could be doing soon...

By sickerthanyou | 13

#7908506 - Sunday 24 May 2020 19:29

That’s what happens when you work for Trump, and don’t expected to get paid neither