Love: Today, thanks to the terrible carpool planning of one of my friends,...

By badplannning - United States - Naperville

Today, thanks to the terrible carpool planning of one of my friends, I had the pleasure of driving both of my ex-boyfriends to homecoming. Neither one of them knew that I had dated the other, but they sure do now. FML

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badplannning tells us more :

OP here. My friend only knew I had dated one of the guys, but admittedly made me drive with him on purpose just to screw with me (I also think she wants us to get back to together). Driving with both of them just happened to be some bad luck, and I didn't have a chance to tell my friend about the awkward situation until afterwards. As far as the guys go, I didn't cheat on either one; I just never discussed my relationship with the first guy when I dated the second guy. It overall wasn't THAT bad of a ride, just incredibly uncomfortable with lots of questions and some sarcastic comments from both of them. It was like something out of a sitcom honestly

Love

Understandable

Family values

Empathy

By thanksbabe - United States

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Pittsburg

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I spent five hours in the back seat of a car with two dogs. Both had been sprayed by a skunk earlier in the day. One had a gas problem. FML

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By it'sabitwindy - United States

Today, I added "a road sign" to my ever-growing list of 'Things which have hit my car as a result of the wind.' FML

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By for the love of god - United States

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/4/2020 17:00

Every little helps

Today, I found out that my grandmother desecrated my grandfather's grave. 14 years after his death, she dug up his body and had him cremated so that she could sell his plot back to the cemetery for money. I was the one who found out so I had to tell the rest of the family. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, my two sons were fighting. I had to shout, "Give me that pillow" - the object over which they were quarrelling - and put them into two separate rooms. My sons are 12 and 15. FML

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By Maddi - United States - Houston

Today, I went on a coffee date with a man I met online. His "friend" had tagged along. We were having a good conversation, until the friend pulls out his laptop and says, "So let me tell you a little bit about our travel business," and talked about a pyramid scheme for an hour. FML

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By swiggityswooty - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I got the, "It's not you, it's me" speech for the third breakup in a row. I'm beginning to think that they may not be entirely telling me the truth. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

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By seriously? - United States - Spring

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, he got upset and accused me of making up words to make him feel stupid. All because I used the word "vapid." FML

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By Anonymous - 27/5/2020 23:00

British Broadcasting Corporation

Today, working from home due to the quarantine, things were going slow so I typed "Lola Fox BBC DP porn" into my team chat, thinking I was typing it into my browser. My supervisor took it down as soon as it happened, but people definitely saw. FML

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By Sean - United States

Today, we surprised my grandpa by being at his house when he arrived. We haven't seen him in seven years. He had a small heart attack. It was his birthday. FML

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By ch,nlv

Today, my husband and I did artificial insemination. At the hospital, they mixed up the sperm and didn't realize until it was too late. I'm now pregnant with a stranger's baby. FML

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By whyarewerelated - United Kingdom

Today, I was working alone in the office with my brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round my face. It's just us in the office next week. FML

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By gottaflossmoreoften - Romania - Bucharest

Today, I finally heard a woman tell me "I've never seen one so big before!" Too bad it was my dentist talking about one of my cavities. FML

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By oops

My chocolate

Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML

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By miseventshappen - United States

Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, my younger brother brought home his new bagpipes. My older brother plays the drums. I'm currently preparing to sit the most important exams of my schooling life. FML

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By staciefacecat

Today, my drunk boyfriend flipped out and told me I was a total control freak, and that he couldn't handle how weird and clingy I am. All I did was ask if his phone was charged. FML

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By fuck off, eh! - Canada - Milton

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

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By littlelottie - United States

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

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By anonymous - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my family was watching a football game and kept mentioning their team's quarterback's name and, as I'm not a football fan by any means, asked them who this was. My grandma then turned to me and said, "This is why you don't have a boyfriend." FML

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By anonymous - France

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

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By danrocketman - United States

Today, I got a job in my university library. My job title is technical services. My actual job is pulling off the book label for the scanner and putting a new one on. For six hours a day. FML

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By onefmlafteranother

Vicious dog

Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML

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By Anonymous - 28/5/2020 08:00

Lemon or haunted?

Today, our boiler broke. Yesterday, it was our fridge. The day before that, the deck collapsed, and a few weeks ago the dishwasher flooded the kitchen. This is after we spent a ton of money to have the house gutted due to a mold problem. We only bought the house a year ago, and have lived in it even less. We need to move. FML

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By n1a1t1h1a1n1 - United States - San Francisco

Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML

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By "princessmia" - United States - Sequim

Felt so bad

Today, my little brother played my phone, and then accidentally sent a nude photo of mine to our step-dad, and now I have to spend all day with him and my mom on a road trip. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

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By Busty

These jugs don't belong here...

Today, Walmart was out of quart milk jugs except for one. When I went to grab it, I had to practically climb into the fridge. My boobs got stuck on the shelf on the way out, and it took a solid two minutes to wiggle my way free. I had an audience. FML

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By Recovering Alcoholic - United Kingdom - Kettering

Today, half of my motivation to stop drinking is so that my tolerance will go down, because I currently can't actually afford enough alcohol to get even tipsy anymore. FML

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By Carnage23 - Germany - Herborn

Today, I was on a long roadtrip with my son. My son said he has to pee to which I answered he had to wait till I can stop the car. He started counting backwards from 10. I couldn't stop in time. FML

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By Humiliated - United States

Today, I was shaving and I sneezed unexpectedly. I ended up cutting myself so badly that I had to go to the emergency room. It wouldn't have been quite so humiliating if I hadn't been forced to show the extremely attractive doctor my sliced open and half shaved crotch. FML

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By awesome - United States

Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML

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By akiza - Japan

Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML

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By BirthdayGirl - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that lunch with his guys was more important than spending time with me. This is the second year in a row that he has cancelled on me. How do I remember the date so well? It's my birthday. FML

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By Annienomous - United States - Marion

Today, I witnessed a man die from a heart attack. When I told my dad later, he said "Lose some weight or you'll be next." FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital because he thought it would be funny to Superglue googly eyes to his dick. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Markham

Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML

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Top comments

By gogo44444 | 28

#6427320 - Monday 5 October 2015 8:03

And that's how they became best friends

By exoticDeath | 20

#6427323 - Monday 5 October 2015 8:06

What kind of "friend" sets that up?? Obviously not a true friend if they willing put you through that. In case she didn't know,what type of friends misses out on two of your relationships? Even if she only knew about one,why would she put him in the car with you?

COMMENTS

By TweetAnne | 13

#6427314 - Monday 5 October 2015 8:02

3 way?

TheGolfGTI | 24

#6427348 - Monday 5 October 2015 8:27

No.

twister45 | 17

#6427357 - Monday 5 October 2015 8:35

First comment and you blow your chance.

By Doubtful_Judge | 23

#6427315 - Monday 5 October 2015 8:02

Buckle up op, this will be a long ride.

By JmarChanology | 20

#6427317 - Monday 5 October 2015 8:03

Fun

By mergeterge | 24

#6427319 - Monday 5 October 2015 8:03

How on earth did that even happen?? That is SO unlucky, op!

twister45 | 17

#6427358 - Monday 5 October 2015 8:36

It happened because of bad planning.

By gogo44444 | 28

#6427320 - Monday 5 October 2015 8:03

And that's how they became best friends

ssnow_fml | 20

#6427834 - Monday 5 October 2015 23:10

no, thats when they realized they were Eskimo brothers

By Dave_Davington | 33

#6427321 - Monday 5 October 2015 8:04

Eh, give it a few months and you'll wonder why all of this high school drama ever bothered you in the first place.

By exoticDeath | 20

#6427323 - Monday 5 October 2015 8:06

Toolishing | 22

#6427544 - Monday 5 October 2015 15:23

Not every friend is that integrated to know every relationship that OP had. Or if it was a recently made friend, how were they supposed to know? OP should've asked who was coming and made adjustments instead of allowing their friend to do so.