By woohoo420 - 04/04/2012 16:14 - United States - Chino Hills

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML
I agree, your life sucks 9 637
You deserved it 41 368

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

No, it was the parakeet.

14 - Are you high?

Comments

No, it was the parakeet.

How did I know the location would be California.

Whoever smelt it dealt it.

No, it was the fucking idiot (OP) that makes people think weed causes this kinda shit. Don't blame other things for your natural stupidity.

It's was not the op, girls don't fart!

I doubt that girls don't fart. I do think that it was the parakeet, though.

Birds never fail to amuse me. However, people like the OP would do all sorts of things, some of them ravenously weird, just to get some amusement. Some of the results are quite Starling. It made me quail with feather. OP, I can imagine your expression when the boyfriend showed up, must've made you Finch. However, I would say it was kind of your fault, and what you did was seriously flocked up in the head. Don't you just hate it Wren this stuff happens? And OP, what beak-ame of your relationship?

11- whoever said the rhyme, did the crime ;)

buck33- I love staring at your picture it brings me to tears of laughter.

Ugh smoking weed isnt a fucking issue... Abusing it is the fucking issue.... Not all people that have done weed are trashy...

You're robin me of all my yolks

213- Ah yes. Because smoking weed is just so classy.

Weed is calming and poised. Shame on society for praising man made medicines and shunning a natural plant. Marijuana doesn't really make people 'weird' things. OP probably normally talks to the bird. Today being no different, she probably just though it was funnier.

Can parakeets talk

That's when you start laughing and tell your bf that you knew he was standing there all along and you wanted to creep him out

Cad6, I love you.

Weed should be like alcohol. It's fine in moderation but as soon as you go overboard you deserve every stupid thing you do and deserve no sympathy. It can be great at relieving pain but all you need is a hit or two. There's absolutely no good reason to get baked out of your mind, just like there's no good reason to get wasted. It just shows the person's stupidity and immaturity.

How did u get the mockingjay as a photo??

341- How did you become so dumb?

yeah sure, blame it on the bird!

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

14 - Are you high?

All these stupid pothead druggie followers are thumbing us down. Drugs are bad, mkay?

14 - Punctuation is your friend.

43- Actually... in their case I think punctuation isn't their friend but then again, it's for the educated, not the wasted.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

77- Do you ever have fun with your life?

It's people like OP that make marijuana smokers look like complete idiots... Religion has nothing to do with smoking, and smoking has nothing to do with having fun. People abuse the damn herb. Those who have not smoked make a huge deal of said smokers. Both smokers and non-smokers should stop getting butthurt over silly comments, on the internet, on FML... FFS.

Drugs may be bad, but it was weed not like it was meth, or crack, this will most likely get thumbed down but cant we all agree meth is way worse?

Meth, heroin, the ones that are straight up chemicals are bad

Getting baked has nothing to do with religion, you are the only one that said anything about religion. As for judging maybe you should stop judging people, if they think getting baked is bad they have a right to think that just like you think it's not

77 was being sarcastic you idiots.

Trolling 77 is trolling...

127- people under weeds influence cant really think clearly :D lol jk but i agree, who are you other people to tell someone how to think and act? If you put more focus on your life as opposed to others, maybe you wouldnt be cranky, bitching people out on FML for fuck sakes :/

Yes 100 I'm laughing my ass off at your comment right now.

All of you judging people for smoking weed, without ever trying it, can fuck off. You're ignorant, and most likely basing your opinion off shit you've heard.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

You are being ignorant too, sooo..

228- that's why it's used as medicine in certain states then huh? It's been proven that its long term effects are less harmful then alcohol and tobacco. Get a clue bro

I think all of you idiots need to shut up. Where's Doc? He'll set you all straight. Weed is still a drug. I don't understand why that concept is so hard for you idiots to grasp. The fact that it's "not as bad" as meth or whatever is irrelevant. You can have fun without getting high. And if you can't, then I feel fucking sorry for you. And 77, way to really be over dramatic. Damn fine "speech" you made there.

Saying it's not as bad as alcohol or tobacco doesn't make it look good, it just makes alcohol and tobacco look bad. Not to mention the flaw with an argument like that was already pointed out, so why even use it gain?

Let's try to end this here: Like most American teenagers, I have smoked weed before. On several occasions, I've gotten as baked as OP from just fucking around and smoking too much with my friends. While I was this baked, my short term memory was less effective than when I wasn't smoking. However, I have completely stopped and suffered no forms of withdrawal or lack of short/long term memory after 2 months off the drug. In conclusion, medical research and personal experience confirm that while marijuana affects short term memory around the time of smoking, it is non-addictive and has no negative affects on the brain when not used constantly.

Correction: no negative LONG TERM affects on the brain

243 is right, now calm down everybody. Nobody is trying to convince anybody to smoke, we just think that its our constitutional right to allow us to make our own decisions.

Yes drugs are bad, but marijuana is safer than peanuts according to the national death survey of 2010... Its ignorant people like you that are hindering the truth, telling kids weed is as bad as cocaine or any other drug. Marijuana is not a drug, its a plant that we used for multiple reasons hundreds of years ago, including but not limited to the writing of the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDANCE!! GTFO

Isn't judging others a sin??

Marijuana isn't bad though, so doesn't that make your argument invalid??

Prove us "stoners" wrong, tell us why marijuana is the "evil abomination" you make it out to be... Until then stfu and gtfo.

Did you really just have a conversation with yourself or am I just seeing multiple shirtless dudes everywhere?

No im kind of new to fml so idk how to comment on someone elses comment. :( sorry but yupp lol it does look like i had a conversation with myself for a min but i was trying to comment on someone elses post. :/

Nah. I am pretty sure religion does cause wars... By the by, I am an atheist

Lol i really love when there is an fml about drugs, it turns into a huge aurgument between the stoners and conformists i give up. Weed is a plant it is used for medical purposes as well as recreational uses, not always because we are addicted or have to smoke it. Dont judge people simply based on the fact that they smoke weed it doesn't make someone a bad person.

276- oh. Now I sorta feel bad for thumbing you down.... I was thinking you were just another of those idiots that make nonsensical comments everywhere. Well, uh. Welcome!

278- excuse me? An argument between stoners and conformists? That's sort of offensive. I don't smoke pot for the same reason I don't drink. Because I don't like the idea of being impaired. That being said, if anyone is the conformists, it's the stoners. If what so many people claim is true- that 'everyone has done it' then isn't it non-conformist behavior to stay away from pot? And it is a drug. Yes, it's a plant. But it's a fucking drug too. I'll admit there are worse drugs out there, but that doesn't mean that there's no negative effects or that it's good for you.

I love how something being a plant suddenly makes it more okay to use than a chemical. Especially after people used the (flawed) argument that tobacco is worse. Guess what! It's a plant too. And it doesn't matter whether something is a plant or a chemical, what matters is what's in it.

Lmao no bro ur logic is flawd they fucking smoked a joint ok damn, if anything u dumbass people should bitch about proscription drugs one of the worst kinds out there, start naming reasons on why weed is bad besides stating ur dumbass opinions

288 - Is that you, Ryan?

I've never smoked it once but I've been around it. I don't mind if someone takes a hit here or there or uses it for pain management (my father in law takes a hit every now and then to manage the pain in his knee from when it got crushed by a forklift), but getting so baked you have slowed reaction times and can't think clearly just makes you a fucking moron. Same with getting wasted. "There's no negative effects of weed"? Bullshit. I know 3 people who've been in a car accident because they were so baked when they got behind the wheel they were severely impaired. My husband's cousin drove through someone's house in the middle of the night and nearly died from it from being baked. One other friend hit a telephone pole and was in a coma for a week and the other luckily only rear ended someone. Bullshit weed has no negative effects. That's like saying alcohol has no effects. If you do too much it fucks you up. Period.

And that's why you look like a man..

Whats wrong with smoking a little weed? If we all had a bong, we'd all get along.

77- Clearly you neglected to finish reading the comment you were referring to. There's no other explanation for how much you missed the point that they were making.

How does OP deserve it? Medicinal Marijuana is legal in California, and OP might have qualified and might use medicinal Marijuana. People who are against Marijuana are most of the time just ignorant, and pull bullshit information out of their ass to make weed look like some terrible, life altering drug. If OP was snorting coke, then yes they would deserve it, but no, they weren't. All who are against Marijuana, I'm smoking a doobie right now. Have a great day everyone :)

318, you're 14, smoking weed apparently and that doesn't surprise me at all. I really hate this planet.

Druggies make me not want to live on this planet anymore!!!!-_-

Last i checked, using medical marijuana is only supposed to be a certain amount, not to the point of getting baked. Idc if she had it for medical reasons, getting baked made her a moron. YDI op

Where did you check the last time, your ass? There is no limit to how much medicinal marijuana you can smoke, because you can't OD on it, so nobody gives a fuck. Like I said on my first comment, you are the group of ignorant people that pull information out of their ass.

You are a complete moron 207. You are absolutely ignorant. My boyfriends parents smoke and guess what, they are alright and successful also. But they have no friends, a broken family, and do stupid things to get people hurt while they are high. Think about that.

Oh and one more thing, for those of you saying people are "pulling stuff out of their butt" "making stuff up" or anything like that: I know people who have DIED from getting in a car accidents while being high. It has negative effects and people aren't just throwing out crap with facts like that.

dude, YOUR logic is flawed.

Dude, I think everyone needs to just roll a blunt and chillllllll XD

77-Everything is based on judgement. If we didn't judge people or things there wouldn't be things such as knowing right from wrong. You judge what is right and wrong for you. Even god judges whether you should go to heaven or hell. Fuck people who say "You shouldn't judge other people". Our whole lives are based by judging.

TorturedXeno 27

Me.

oh my, i think something needs to be fixed in your head :s

Poor parakeet! To have such an owner... Poor boyfriend too!

The parakeet probably had a great contact high.

Um. I hope to god that he was recording this little episode. Send that into AFV, it'd be gold.

Actually, now that I think about it, I'm not sure that they allow the influence of drugs on their show.. But who knows, maybe that explains some of the idiotic stuff people do on there!

Do people watch that crap anymore? I watched it when I was little (no cable *sigh*) and even then I knew it was the least funny thing on television.

They always have clips of drunk people falling over, so why not? :D

Nahh I don't think they would...hmmmm... Maybe cus drugs are illegal?

It's medicinal..,trust me...I'm a rat.

I'm a rat, I'm a rat, I'm a clever clever rat..

I don't think that shows been on in years but put it in YouTube

When girls smoke weed it's very unattractive. Thats all i have to say.

True. It's one of society's blatant double standards. Same way a guy shouldn't cross dress. It just doesn't seem right.

So you wish you could cross dress without anybody looking at you wrong?

I will probably regret asking lol, but what is so unattractive about a girl getting high o.O ?!..

7- Well I think it's disgusting when either gender gets high, drunk, whatever. It's low class and trashy. It's really childish as well, the rare adult I've seen who does drugs are those who are total losers with no potential and in my opinion a waste of space, food, water, and air. I know a bunch of druggies will thumb this down, but it's true and that's the only reason they'd be offended by it.

I couldn't of said it better 55. For all of you kids and for that matter adults who do drugs, I hope you know that you shortened your life span by about 10-15 years. I hope you have a great life while it lasts.

I think it's petty when all you got time for is putting people down cause they're life style is different then yours. As always FML's are not thoroughly detailed so we have no idea what drove them to smoke weed. I don't condone what anyone does so long as it doesn't hurt another. Only one who might be even perturbed was the bird. Still people take weed as a medical alternative. Have an open mind.

19 How did you get that out of my comment? Bad deductive reasoning? I said it doesn't look right. I don't see how that relates to me wanting to cross dress.

I don't mind pot heads. I mean there are truly much worse drugs that people could be doing. Like meth. Or X. Or inhalants.

55- lol, you're so judgmental. Just because someone smokes marijuana doesn't mean that they're gonna be a bum. People smoke weed, get over it.

Everyone offended by people dissing weed and cigs are lighting up right now. As for girls who smoke and swear.. That ain't classy. I'm glad I'm at least addicted to my phone instead of those things.

Lol weed isn't even technically a drug-it's an herb, a plant. There is no long term damage, it helps prevent cancer, helps your brain pass messages and make connections better, makes you laugh, which lengthens your life span and has never killed anyone. Aspirin has killed a lot of people. Why is weed illegal then? Look who runs everything? Oil companies and crap. Which we could replace most of everything with weed made products. Not to mention how many trees we could save from paper because weed can ultimately make paper too. So what if some people who smoke are "bums".. If you're going to fail in life, you'll do it with or without weed. Oh and also how many people die because of alcohol and that's legal.. So that's proof there's no reason it's illegal other than money.

Oh my gosh that comment was so stupid its not even funny. Weed doesn't prevent cancer. It can help with the effects of chemo. It doesn't help your brain pass messages better. It slows your brain signals down, ultimately lowering your reflexes. Weed itself has never killed anyone. However, people who got high off of it and made stupid decisions have. Saying it makes you laugh which lengthens your life span, I really don't know how to respond to that. Yes laughter is good for you. However, you can't say weed itself increases your life span, if you say weed itself hasn't killed anyone. Once again, it's the effects. Smoking weed (non medicinal) may not be bad for you, but it definitely isn't good for you. Smoke is bad for your lungs in general. Now stop getting your facts from your 8 year old brother and try putting up a REAL argument next time. P.S. I have friends that smoke, and I know that not all smokers are stupid. This was just to outline how terrible this girl's argument was.

55, I completely agree, every adult I know who does DRUGS, are losers with no potential. Weed is not a drug, it's a plant. And before anyone starts on me that cocaine comes from plants too, you have to realize all the chemicals and just the entire process cocaine goes through before people get it in their own possesion. All that weed goes through is getting clipped, trimmed and dried out some. WAY different. The adults I know that smoke weed are doing well in life, have a great job, own their house and car, and are married with a family. So where is this lack of potential us "pot heads" apparently have? I realize not all of them turn out that way, and some do lack any potential whatsoever, but the same can be said about all the people who don't do drugs or smoke weed.

I've smoked out with women and they are very hot indeed.

90...what? Marijuana has loads of carcinogens. How can it prevent cancer when it causes it?

55- Here's the deal: adults smoking weed is not 'rare'. There are 3 kinds of people in this world. There are those that don't smoke weed, those who smoke weed and want the whole world to know about it (the 'bums'), and those who quietly light up a joint now and then and don't let it interfere with their day-to-day life. A great amount of adult pot heads fall into that third category, so you probably have seen a lot more successful and happy pot heads then you have loser pot heads, you just didn't know that they smoked because of your preconceived stereotype that 'all potheads are losers and bums'.

Noted..>.>

140- Here's the deal, first of I think someone who's from a family of medical professionals and who's becoming a nurse, would know more than someone who I'm guessing from your picture is about 16-17. If you know many adults personally at that age, that's a bit odd but regardless responsible adults do NOT smoke weed (Which is a drug.) nor do they do any other kinds of drugs, hopefully you'll become more wise with age.

150 Yes I have one. Do you consider yourself an idiot? Or is that only something people around you can see?

Nah ah, it's Thuper cool

147 - 'responsible adults do NOT smoke weed nor do they do any other kinds of drugs...' Seriously? What an idiotic statement. Many adults have an occasional drink (alcohol is a drug), so I guess that automatically deems them irresponsible?

103, Okay let's say you're right. How was my whole argument stupid over two faults? Plus it does help your brain make connections, which is why people who normally can't function correctly can easily get prescribed medical. I've seen it in action. 130, Weed doesn't cause cancer, it's natural plant. The only thing that could be bad about it is if people use chemicals on it to keep pests away, which a good grower wouldn't have to do.

161- And what in the hell do you think smoke does to your brain and lungs? My mother and sister are both doctors and it does not help make connections in your brain.

Oh and 161, it is prescribed so easily because it's hard to diagnose.

Two? Your first four points were all stupid and uninformed and were easily easily ripped to shreds. Then you trailed off into saying that it shouldn't be illegal. Just because one bad thing isn't illegal, doesnt mean others should be made legal. Yes, natural weed isn't terrible for you, but think about it; what are the odds of finding natural, untampered weed nowadays? Highly unlikely. By the way, did you know that there are two types of marijuana? Male and female. The female plant is the one you smoke, and it really has no use other than, well, smoking it. MALE marijuana however, can be used to make paper and other beneficial products, which you briefly touched on in your argument. But you didn't back any of it up. Yes, it was made illegal because paper companies highlighted the negative effects of female marijuana to lower competition, but you appear to neglect that fact; there are negative effects, and there are many. Now do some research before arguing, you're making other smokers look bad.

The people on here who are on the 'weed is the devil' bandwagon need to chill out! You've probably never smoked it (and, hey, that's your choice, just don't shove your half baked opinions down other peoples throats), and by the sounds of it have only ever witnessed the bad side of usage. I smoke a few joints daily, I am also an intelligent, productive member of society. I have 2 jobs and I go to Uni (HD average), I exercise daily and have a busy social life. Weed helps me relax at the end of the day. I also have friends who smoke regularly (one of which is VP of a multi national company). So smoking weed does not always reduce you to 'waste of oxygen' status. Weed can be used medicinally where other, synthetic drugs do not work as well, for example with chemo and glaucoma patients. It can also be used for industry, hemp makes great rope and clothes, with less of an environmental footprint than cotton. Smoking weed is a choice, if you choose to smoke, it's about moderation (like alcohol, which by the way, causes much more damage economically and socially than weed), if you choose not to smoke, please don't become 'holier than thou' and automatically tar every smoker with the same brush, particularly when it is so apparent you have no idea what you are talking about. (prepare for half baked chewing out in 3, 2, 1...)

Condone or condemn?

Shut up, all of you are butthurt pigeons.

you mean you couldn't have. and that's pretty harsh to judge people like that. you have no idea what some people have gone through.

There hasn't even been anything to prove it will dramatically reduce your life span. People say marijuana kills brain cells and that's only because they pumped twenty joints through a gas mask to a monkey. I think it's just silly what people say about it.

It's called using a vaporizer, you wouldn't get the harsh, hot smoke and you wouldn't inhale the fumes from a lighter. Weed itself is usually not what causes lung problems.

Kirkbear, I hate to fucking tell you but smoke in general kills brain cells.

You're completely wrong it does not help your brain "pass messages" it actually shuts down the astrocytes in your brain and stops processing and effects your brain chemistry. The basic neurobiology in your brain is changed.

55- shut the fuck up. How can you be that close minded. Weed doesn't always cause failure. Einstein was more of a pothead than a hippie at woodstock. My brother was valedictorian of his class and a huge pothead. Sure, weed doesn't help you, but neither does drinking soda. More people have died from the peanut allergy than marijuana use, LOL that's because it doesn't have negative effects. Of course, this comment will be thumbed down because you're all Christ fags that will be smited if you say one good thing about weed.

If marijuana smokers get butthurt over the internet on the topic of cannabis, then obviously you aren't fit to be smoking it, nor be on the internet. If non-smokers are going to bring out info, support it with evidence and cite it, but don't fight with "potheads" that will make you stoop down to their level. To those who skipped that, here's the point. Smokers, shut the fuck up and enjoy a blunt. Non-smokers, don't stoop down to the level of WANNA-BE potheads. Not worth it.

Lets just make this all clear. Smoking is bad. It is harmful to the body and everyone knows that even smokers. Weed is a plant and it can be use responsably but can be missused but in the end it comes down to every individual. If you smoke its your choice and your life.

73- you just seemed upset that you couldnt cross dress cause society wouldnt approve your cross dressing standards.

It's also unattractive when males smoke weed.

Fuck your opinion

Smoking here or there to relax or manage pain is fine. That's not what makes people a bum. What makes someone a bum is when they have to have it all the time or they freak out. I don't think the occasional smokers or medicinal users should be called pot heads. Pot heads to me are the people who get totally baked. They're the equivalent of alcoholics. Weed should be like alcohol. It should be enjoyed in moderation and there should be a limit. Beyond that limit you need a designated driver and all stupid decisions you make are your own fault an your responsibility. It does have good medicinal purposes, but again, should be regulated like any other medicine.

A LOT more people smoke weed than you think! People who hate on marijuana smokers are ether stupid cuz they have never tried it once, or they only know one smoker and judge every one based off them

Oh you are the dumbass piece of crap I have ever seen

"marijuana isn't a drug, it's a plant" LOL oh the stupidity. Please, just shut up and spare yourself the embarrassment.

I'm a girl. I've smoked weed like 4 times. I guess that makes me repulsive, huh? Lol. Oh well. It's not your life, it's mine. Get over it. :P

Hey everyone... Stfu and let people rule their own lives, honestly keep your own damn opinions to yourself. Yes i smoke, and I honestly could give two sh*ts less what everyone thinks about it.

Screw you, that's like saying everyone who drinks alcohol are so dumb, they all deserve to be wiped off the face of the planet and killed. Tons of people drink, there are a lot of people who make bad choices and end up like the people you described. A LOT more with alcohol than weed, but not everyone who drinks are like who you describe. The same with stoners, my dad let my sister and I smoke weed since I was 13. Every. Single. Day. Still do, and guess what jerks? HAHAHAH I'M PROBABLY RICHER THAN 70% OF YOU. I work as a Speak Language Pathologist, love my job and get baked when I get home. My dad is a doctor, and my sister is a fire fighter. They smoked everyday too. Don't you DARE put weed as the same level as meth, coke and that other stuff. Weed is natural, and is only a gate way to my fridge.

Screw you, that's like saying everyone who drinks alcohol are so dumb, they all deserve to be wiped off the face of the planet and killed. Tons of people drink, there are a lot of people who make bad choices and end up like the people you described. A LOT more with alcohol than weed, but not everyone who drinks are like who you describe. The same with stoners, my dad let my sister and I smoke weed since I was 13. Every. Single. Day. Still do, and guess what jerks? HAHAHAH I'M PROBABLY RICHER THAN 70% OF YOU. I work as a Speak Language Pathologist, love my job and get baked when I get home. My dad is a doctor, and my sister is a fire fighter. They smoked everyday too. Don't you DARE put weed as the same level as meth, coke and that other stuff. Weed is natural, and is only a gate way to my fridge.

That is kind of funny. If you say you were stoned he would understand

That's awesome! I love being able to light it up with my gf, if I was your bf I would of been laughing my ass off!

Maybe if you didn't "light it up" you'd know that it's "would have", not "would of".

I light it up with my girl too and we have a good time when we do. Nothing wrong with a good high every now and again

Forlorn - nothing wrong with it, other than the fact that it's illegal in your country, you mean?

People are so judgmental. They think all smokers are losers. Not that my money matters but I smoke and so does my man and were very successful. Not only do we own multiple homes and make great income were happy. By the way it's legal to smoke in CA when you have your license. I try not to comment on fml because no matter what you say people want to fight but this is just silly. To each is own. Go ahead and give me negative votes I promise it won't effect my day! : )

people have done worse in front of more people while stoned

Man that sucks. Stop farting around with your parakeet.

man that sucks stop thread jacking you tool

How did you explain that one?

..you're goin places in life.

how can u even point out if she is or isn't goin places??? Just because she smokes u think she is a bum or sumthn. No it's called the real world u still live with mommy and daddy and have no idea what people on their own have on their shoulders. Weed may help her relax. So before u go doggin on people look at yourself.. miss thang cus u dnt have a worry in the world but to criticize people lives on fml.

Well, we can all see who's a pothead now.

Keenflow - I own my own home, I'm married, and I have two children. I've been on my own for a long time. May I "go doggin" on people? Please? Moron.

I was commenting on the fact that she argued with a bird. But thank you for taking time out of your opinionated day to write me a novel about my comment! ;)

I would say 90% of stoners are losers... Including keenflow

Sorry but how is a day opinionated.