Sex, Phone calls and Intimacy: Kinky

Kinky

By 9gingerface66 - 15/01/2012 06:29 - United States

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 896

You deserved it 4 687

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Same thing different taste

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 809

You deserved it 15 193

Turned off

By picturemenakedbaby - 21/07/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 025

You deserved it 12 737

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 386

You deserved it 28 355

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 993

You deserved it 7 878

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 332

You deserved it 2 772

Overdoing it

By Anonymous - 29/05/2020 08:00

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to "dirty talk" with him. I'd never done it before, so I figured I would give it a go. I ended up getting so excited that I had an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 646

You deserved it 421

By TalkDirtyToMe - 10/10/2014 19:33 - New Zealand

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 126

You deserved it 7 489

Relaxed

By sarabellekitty - 21/10/2019 04:00

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 972

You deserved it 363

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 547

You deserved it 5 458

Hot and heavy

By Lickmylovepump - 19/01/2012 04:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 449

You deserved it 35 609

SwiftFaux 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:23

That heavy breathing wasn't snoring.

CalCommando 6

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:47

"Oh baby, never bathe again... your hair is so greasy... rub that cupcake on my ankle!" Oh, not that dirty?

Comments

teyyoshi 19

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:18

what did you say?

BlindyMcGee 2

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:19

So many fail 1st comments.

RaggleFrock 13

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:34

What does it matter, he was snoring?

GoW_Chick 14

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:38

I bet she sang him a sexy lullaby, but it didn't have the desired affect.

CalCommando 6

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:47

"Oh baby, never bathe again... your hair is so greasy... rub that cupcake on my ankle!" Oh, not that dirty?

Pentium_4 27

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:58

i got a strange tingling in my pants

Savra_fml 17

Sunday 15 January 2012 13:55

She said "Baby, I've been told I'm amazing in bed. It's when somebody joins me that it all goes wrong"

fcukU30to1 2

Sunday 15 January 2012 14:09

F*** yo couch!

scampman 5

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:18

Aww.. there, there it's ok.. You'll get better ;)

samfenton89 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 13:22

I doubt she will try again soon. Confidence levels gone

girl112891 7

Sunday 15 January 2012 14:10

Don't worry, I am one of the worst dirty talker you can find. It just gets so awkward. What do I say next? It all means the same! Best way to practice though is in person. Lay on the bed together and ask him what he likes to hear. Baby steps.