Intimacy: Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked... - FML

By Cynical - 30/03/2009 03:49 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 168

You deserved it 37 092

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Late reaction

By fuck - 22/01/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 330

You deserved it 660

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Spicy

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 422

You deserved it 739

Redhanded

By Anonymous - 23/11/2021 06:00 - Philippines - Roxas

Spicy

Today, my mom came in my bedroom without knocking, even though I'd told her to, and caught me masturbating. She stood there in awkward silence before saying, "…Dinner's ready at 6." and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 451

By Anonymous - 22/07/2017 05:29 - United States - Irving

Spicy

Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 159

You deserved it 1 270

By jack s.b. - 14/11/2013 22:15 - United States - Austin

Spicy

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 055

You deserved it 16 424

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 747

You deserved it 5 862

Knock first!

By Anonymous - 19/09/2023 06:00

Spicy

Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 836

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 652

By GoldenTornado11 - 10/05/2017 14:00

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 093

You deserved it 551

Just a question

By Anonymous - 14/12/2019 14:00

Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 065

You deserved it 255

Next

Top comments

ThatScaryKidd 0

Monday 30 March 2009 12:24

"Thats okay"? heh. that sucks

Peterick 0

Monday 30 March 2009 12:24

so much for knocking.

Comments

Changeling 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 22:18

Well...did you stop or just keep flogging it?

Chippy_fml 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 7:54

Are you from Kentucky? This sounds a lost like your mom is into incest.

emptyego 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 18:22

lmfao @19 I love that image. Omg hahahaha. #21: It's the same with me with my Mom. She just really doesn't seem to care. OP: I am so sorry... some parents just suck!

pippy124 0

Friday 3 April 2009 21:07

I'm sry...next time dont masturbat in your room...do it in the bathroom

17Master 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 3:20

If you don't want to get caught masturbating, put your shorts/pants back on when you hear someone at the door. Then, if they come in anyway, don't let them see your play hand.

flippride808 0

Monday 6 April 2009 10:47

haha that happened to me many times dont feel bad (:

aeternuswar 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 16:03

lol #5 as right as you might be...your very wrong. Who the hell goes "hang on mom im masturbating and im probably about to get off. Do you mind not ruining it?" nah. just doesnt sound right. oh, and parents? if we say dont come in, dont come in.

mzmaverickd 7

Friday 10 April 2009 15:55

THank you 132! Well said.

Fundibasher 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 19:54

LOL @ that's ok. WTF???? ofc she's ok with you being naked in front of her but maybe you aren't?????

usernamegoeshere 0

Wednesday 15 April 2009 1:46

boy or girl????

10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19

Keywords

Weird Miscellaneous Shopping My ex Awkward Relatable Racism Family Kids AITA Love Cheating Work Break-ups Cats Cute Animals Intimacy Sex Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Mental health Health Psychology Neighbours Cops Scary Stressed out Parents

The Top

Today, I asked a girl from Bumble for a full body pic. She was obese, so I told her it wasn’t gonna work. She then sent a video of her in real time looking slim and told me that picture was from when she was obese, and she'd sent that picture as a “test of my character” and she’s “better off without someone so judgy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 946

Today, according to my husband, if I die first he won’t be looking after my son from a previous marriage. Either my sister will have to take him or he’ll go into foster care. He doesn’t want kids of his own, so he’ll be dammed if he has to look after someone else’s just because I’m dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 506

You deserved it 946

The Top

Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 152

You deserved it 8 697

Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 125

Today, my boss told me, "You oversold your skills in your job interview." I have worked in this industry for 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 108

Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 220

You deserved it 4 680

Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 668

You deserved it 3 963

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 491

You deserved it 3 233