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*pulls out gun and shoots #11* *everyone screams* Everyone please stay calm! *pulls out badge* I'm a thread marshal working with the International Committee of the Interwebs (ICE). This man was a threadjacker working with I'll-Trollya, but I can assure you you are all now safe.
98 - not to get too technical, but no. It is biologically far better for both mother and child if the child is conceived in the mother's late teens/early 20's. Once a woman hits her mid 20's pregnancy becomes much more physically tasking and risky for mother and child, and any reputable doctor will watch any woman who gets pregnant in her 30's or later like a hawk, because there is a significantly higher chance for complications. Now, I'm not advocating that every girl go out and get knocked up at 18, and I'm not saying that your mother made a poor choice in getting pregnant so late in life, I'm just saying that the idea that getting pregnant at 30 is no big deal and that everything will be peachy keen is just wrong. People need to educate themselves better on the realities of pregnancy as it relates to the age of the mother at conception.
107, your point of view is narrow-minded. Aside from biology there's also society and finances. At 20 young family most likely will have no money (unless they were born into rich family or were lucky to build successful business). They'll be searching for jobs, etc., having kids at this age might be difficult because of financial/career implications. At 40 the family most likely will be "established" - both spouses will have paying jobs, and possibly better paying jobs, so they most likely will be able to properly support their children. On other hand, older parents will have less energy to actively spend time with their children. So there's no best age to get children.
Not to a woman's body, and not to her offspring. Older parents (yes, even the father's age) increase the risk of autism, disfigurement, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and many other conditions in their offspring if they do not have their first child until after age 35 (women) or age 40 (men). These statistics are somewhat more relaxed for parents who are older if the mother has had children previously.
Having kids later in life does increase the risk of difficulties during the pregnancy and the risk problems for the baby and mother. The baby could be more likely to have mental or physical disabilities and greater the chance of the mother having postpartum depression.
Sounds like your husband doesn't wants kids. Don't pull the goalie on him, he'll resent you.
Did you discuss children before you were married? If not then maybe he doesn't want kids. If he does want kids then maybe he is feeling stressed about something that is making him doubt children at the current time.
He shouldn't change his mind due to an empty threat. If she wants kids and he doesn't, they'll figure out whether or not their relationship and differences will really work. If it does and they come to some sort of compromise - great. If not and they divorce, she should ask the next guy if he wants a family before they marry.
Just do like the girl from that reeeeeeally old FML and just don't let him pull out in time. But on a serious note, WTF is his deal? That's a fine age to have babies. If he doesn't want kids, y'all should've discussed this earlier. FYL, but maybe YDI. *votes both*
Yeah, lol. That was the one where they were doing the deed & she wrapped her legs around him at the last moment when he was about to pull out... But after a certain age, eggs are no longer viable. And if they are, doctors call it a high risk pregnancy and your child is more at risk... As the people before said...for example Trisomy 21. Sucks to be a female, because males produce sperm for their entire lives. We are born with all we'll ever have. (Yes, studies are being done on how good sperm is in older population) we weren't made to live as long as we do... Good luck op. And get into a serious discussion with him... Time waits for no man... Or Woman.
If you really want kids and he doesn't, it'll be a hard situation to work out.
point out that he will be 40 in a couple years and how old he will be
34- I get the feeling #7 sent that thought incomplete. "...and how old he will be when the kid's in high school" or college perhaps. I know I wouldn't want to be worrying about helping my kids with their college tuition when I'm looking at retirement. At 35, he might not want to wait too much longer, especially if they want more than one child, IMHO. :P
And the babbling incoherently stage, the making a mess of everything stage, the wrecking your valuables stage, the "But whyyyyyyyy?" stage, the three years where they're actually decent stage, and the "my parents are the dumbest fucks on the planet" stage. But I want to get my tubes tied, so maybe OP shouldn't send her husband to either one of us for advice.
It takes a while for your body to adjust to being off birth control--especially if you've been on it a while. If he really is sincere, give him the facts. It could take you a few years to conceive and if you want to have second baby you're then already over 35. Once you hit 35 the vitality of your eggs starts spiraling downward.