Animals: Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes...

By Username - 13/02/2011 02:17 - United States

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 718

You deserved it 3 722

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/04/2013 19:38 - United Kingdom - Bridgnorth

Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 526

You deserved it 8 485

By Livingthedream - 12/08/2018 06:00

Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 957

You deserved it 468

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 106

You deserved it 2 445

My reward

By KittenShitz - 25/12/2019 14:00

Today, I felt accomplished after I cleaned the whole house alone, but then I stepped backwards to admire my work and stepped into a pile of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 337

By RustyBulletHole - 04/02/2009 07:53 - United States

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 169

You deserved it 2 358

By morphea - 29/04/2015 22:54 - France - Chantepie

Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 774

You deserved it 2 674

Treasure hunt

By Catois - 05/03/2010 05:17 - United States

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 775

You deserved it 13 227

Tetchy

By Anonymous - 26/11/2023 00:00

Today, I got home and my wife asked me why I hadn’t taken the bin out or cleaned the living room. I asked her why she hadn’t done it since she got fired 6 months ago for laziness and since then has sat on her ass watching daytime TV instead of job searching. She threw a mug at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 162

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 391

You deserved it 50 991

By Dogmom - 18/12/2018 17:30

Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 256

You deserved it 280

Miss_gord 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 10:10

"stupid dog you make me look bad":)

forthepainx3 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 10:20

maybe it was your wife and she was blaming the dog? :o

Comments

Ishki 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 10:09

Clean it up, lazy.

LordXavier 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 10:46

you have a door on your kitchen? Because that's the only place the bitch should be going!

thehun927 0

Monday 14 February 2011 4:23

Win!

Miss_gord 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 10:10

"stupid dog you make me look bad":)

Kadaj7412 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 10:52

"Now it's time for Courage the Cowardly Dog show."

MLuckyCapoeirist 6

Sunday 13 February 2011 10:54

In the middle of nowhere! God that show was a bit scary wasn't it? Especially when we were kids...

Kadaj7412 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 11:02

Nah, the show was funny. Sailing across nowhere to find a sandwhale and take its accordion.

InnocentLies 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 11:06

I esp like the art in that show. :)

derpherp 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 11:27

I'd like to buy a vowel. O. Is it, Boom?

rhartwick 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 12:46

I hated that showit gave me nightmares as a kid

ArmedcrackerR6 8

Sunday 13 February 2011 14:29

Sounds like it's time to put down Old Yeller if you know what I mean.

Mr_Darkside 5

Monday 14 February 2011 2:02

that was a great show. the episode Last Of The Star Makers was depressing... :( anyway.... dude u have a smart ass dog

sinnikle 5

Wednesday 16 February 2011 16:36

It's Doc Gerbil's world, It's Doc Gerbil's world

EvilCupcake8361 9

Thursday 15 September 2011 6:12

that show creeped me out as a kid O.o

iBiteRoses 22

Friday 23 December 2011 21:55

Me too... OMG I had such bad nightmares about that show... Weird muttations of the characters would chase me around with lethal-looking weapons and kitchen utensils. LOL

eternalsugarhigh 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 10:10

Wow, your dog must be quite the marksman.

subiedude08 17

Saturday 7 September 2013 4:35

Dogs trolling him

nateb1tch 1

Sunday 13 February 2011 10:10

Or you just blamed the dog..

forthepainx3 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 10:36

or the dog pulled out a gun and forced him to pull the crap out of it's ass and put it on the floor in THE EXACT SAME SPOT

fthku 13

Sunday 13 February 2011 13:17

13 That was just beyond not funny. If you don't teach your dog not to poop in the house, he'll do it. Dogs also like to return to the same spots for these sort of things. Guess you are stupid.