jessi_sunshine
miss
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26 Badges
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99 Comments
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2329 Visits
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237 Favorites
Stop. Before you think about messaging me, I'd like you to ask yourself something.
"Why? Why am I messaging this girl?"
Because in all likelihood in which I speak from experience, it's because you think my profile photos are attractive. Thank you. Really, that's very nice of you. But here's the thing:
I'm not just a pretty face. I am not here to entertain you. I do not owe you anything. I do not have the time, energy, or inclination to reply to lengthy, verbose messages from complete strangers that I do not care about all the livelong day. It's exhausting.
I'm a PERSON. I'm a deeply flawed human being. I wake up without the sparkle and the makeup just like everybody else. I am not some toy here for your entertainment.
You just want a piece of me, like everyone else on these godforsaken social media sites. You want a piece of the sparkle, the glamor, etc. Everyone wants something. You take and you take, and at this point?
I don't have anything for you.
So do not message me.
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What'ch'all looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile. -
Socialite
You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see… -
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern. -
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator. -
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile. -
The thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments. -
The return of the thumb
You have thumbed 5000 comments. -
Happy ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.” -
I'm an early bird, but no worm yet
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m. -
Night owl
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m. -
Santa Claus
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done! -
I like your style
You gave a Hug to someone. How cute! -
The Mixer
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you. -
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done! -
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature. -
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter. -
A new thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments. -
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit. -
50 favorites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list! -
It's in the can!
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten! -
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated. -
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start. -
Judgmental
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times. -
I agree, my mouse works.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start. -
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic. -
50 quality comments
Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier. -
Tommy Wiseau
You have 50 followers and we quite frankly don't know how you managed it. -
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky. -
100 kick-ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name! -
42
See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon. -
I'm a rock star
You have 100 followers. Your head's in the game. -
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date. -
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date. -
YDI Master
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote. -
Work is a 4-letter word
Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic. -
Tweet, tweet
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why. -
My diary is a collector's item
There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one. -
I liked to the power of 20
You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked. -
Picture this FML
You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article. -
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about. -
Tell us what happened next
You've commented on an FML that you sent in -
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date. -
Gandhi
You have 200 followers. Everyone follows you. You should watch your mouth.
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Tuesday 6 October 2015 04:18 /
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Sunday 4 October 2015 23:12 /
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Sunday 4 October 2015 14:20 /
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