Mid-life crisis

By Glenn - 08/04/2023 18:00

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend because we’re not on the same page. He doesn’t want to get married or have kids because he “wants to enjoy his youth” and “you’re only young once, don’t waste it!” He’s 38. FML
I agree, your life sucks 835
You deserved it 207

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Age is just one dimension of a person. Different people have different goals in life - And often those goals do change as you get older. But at the age of 38 if he doesn’t want to be married nor to have kids it’s highly unlikely he’s going to change that opinion anytime soon… You are not “wrong” to want marriage and children if that is important to you. Your boyfriend is not “wrong” to want freedom and to have fun. But the two of you don’t have compatible goals. You aren’t going to change his mind nor will he change yours. You have realized that this isn’t going to work. A clean break was ultimately best.

Not wanting to get married or have kids doesn’t make one wrong, y’know. I know people are raised on a steady diet of “get married young, make GRANDBABIES for your parents, obey the church and feed the corporate machine” propaganda, but that doesn’t mean everyone has to do it.

Comments

You'll probably disagree with me too, but I'm on your boyfriends side, 38 is too young to have kids. And I understand that if he's older, he will probably be too old to have kids. I get that, I'm still on his side! And I think that it's a side effect of how we millennials grew up... I busted my ass until I was 30, to get to where I am now (and I got there fast compared to most of my classmates). I worked hard, to get a good job, to have a wage where I can afford my bills with easy and have some leftover, to have job security, to have an affordable mortgage, ... I did not live until 30, then from 30 to 33 I had to learn how to live, because I never did... I was just working to get to a point where I felt secure, and that means I would only have gotten 5years of a free life before I would need to bust my ass again for my child until they're 25 or something. That's not enough. I need more then 5 free stressless years. So I 100% get him! 38 is too young.

Age is just one dimension of a person. Different people have different goals in life - And often those goals do change as you get older. But at the age of 38 if he doesn’t want to be married nor to have kids it’s highly unlikely he’s going to change that opinion anytime soon… You are not “wrong” to want marriage and children if that is important to you. Your boyfriend is not “wrong” to want freedom and to have fun. But the two of you don’t have compatible goals. You aren’t going to change his mind nor will he change yours. You have realized that this isn’t going to work. A clean break was ultimately best.

Not wanting to get married or have kids doesn’t make one wrong, y’know. I know people are raised on a steady diet of “get married young, make GRANDBABIES for your parents, obey the church and feed the corporate machine” propaganda, but that doesn’t mean everyone has to do it.

Probably a good call, people tend to stay very firm on marriage & kids. If he say's he's not ready I doubt he ever will be, with you.

Nico97 3

love how you go after bf instantly and assume wrong doing

sooooo why did it take you so long to figure this out?

He's not wrong lol Kids rob the life and happiness from you. Or so says everyone I know that actually has them.