Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old sister, naked, streaming herself eating a banana. FML
Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML
Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML
Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML
Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at me. Now it even hurts to pee or put my trousers on. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML
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Top comments
Mischief109 11
Get ready for Wincest comments galore...
dixiefoxx 22
Never look someone in the eyes while you or they are eating a banana..
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Comments (247)
ICastillo 25
Hmm it's expected from Texans. I bet you're in the Deep South of Texas. What's up with all the family loving going on today.
ICastillo 25
Before any Texas people tell me anything about the comment. It was a JOKE.^^
Kiki242 19
Jokes can still be offensive. If its against a group of people someone will get offended.
ICastillo 25
I know, but this is where people come to laugh. So some people need to stop being so uptight and taking all the jokes so serious. So let the thumb down barrage begin.
angiemarie96 25
Hear of the Aussie radio prank to Britain? Ended in suicide
ICastillo 25
So Texas people are going to commit suicide over one little harmless comment? I didn't know I had that much influence on people.
eoko 12
You'd find it more in the hill country.
SouthernPride95 19
49 what are you tryin to say
pipinya 8
36, clearly the point 32 was trying to make was that jokes aren't always 'just' funny.
KrustyKrap 5
No icastillo, it's not expected in Texas. I happen to live near Dallas and have more money than you could ever dream of, so it's not like we are "poor,dumb,toothless,redneck southerners". so keep the uneducated smartass comments to yourself. and btw even if that was intended to be "just for laughs", NO ONE found it "funny". lastly, **** you
ICastillo 25
Hmmm hit a nerve huh. And why do you bring up money? To sound cool. Tough guy chill out it was a joke. And your profile says you're thirteen, stop acting like a big boy and go to bed I'm sure it's past your bed time.
sens3sfailing 25
According to his profile he is also funny...most people just prove that instead of saying they are...bit of a god complex hmmm?
doc1990 4
Umm not saying that his joke was funny because people are generally the se all over. But, if your going to make a point, try to be factual about yourself. Or, don't even bring your self up person, but attack through facts and general facts and figures.
andiewithlove 21
82, you're thirteen. Your parents have money. Not you. Get the **** over your egotistical self and go live the life of someone who grew up with nothing. You rich, ignorant pricks that get shit handed to you need to wake up.
ririzzle 2
That southerners are ****** up
NeonPopRocks 14
82- Your profile picture is missing teeth, and it has a red head.... Close enough.
msilikegrapes 8
guys I'm from Texas and this doesn't offend me. It's a joke not a dick don't take it so hard
tsent8 15
I've lived in Texas all my life I laughed...then started plotting revenge.
ICastillo 25
I'm glad too see there is still people here with a sense of humor.
mralman16 5
Haha thats why Illinois is better lol jkjk were poor as shit also cuz of our governer
mariebc123 7
Your an idiot..people from Texas are not like that. Your probably the dumbass that thinks we still ride horses..
tsent8 15
Mmmhmm yeah mmhm I bet you like that fruit salad don't cha.
FlyingPie 17
I've heard some say incest is best, but I'm not convinced..
Vimy 6
With that pedo-stache... it's not.
gmc_blossom 21
Incest is the best, why not put your sister to the test? Incest: Why cross the street when you can cross the hall?
YoungMisfit 9
It's only weird if you looked at her ass on the way out
mercsl65 7
I lol'd twice today. This is number two
liftedyoda 5
Wow is all i can say
lolfood 24
Then don't comment
haha_funny_me 7
What!? 11, please. Not even an acceptable joke. D:
RoboCunnilingus 23
You probably should have just responded.
haha_funny_me 7
New to the FML commentig world. I have no clue what I'm doing. Why is everyone on this site so cruel :(
ICastillo 25
They're jokes no need to take them seriously, you'll get used to it, just keep commenting and you'll see.
gmc_blossom 21
Welcome to FML. Where the majority of us are assholes. Enjoy your stay. EDIT: Apparently this posted twice. Dafuq.
gmc_blossom 21
75- Welcome to FML. Where the majority of us are assholes. Enjoy your stay.
YoungMisfit 9
We rape the new users. PREPARE YOUR ANUS. I HAS THE LUBE
haha_funny_me 7
Correction, good sir: not a new user, just a new commenter (took forever to verify the account) I know how you delinquents work. ;)
gracehi 33
If you're on the Android (or maybe iphone?) app, you can reply to a comment by sliding it over. You should see a reply button and thumb up and thumb down buttons. Don't feel bad. It took me a while to figure it out too. You're welcome. ;)
haha_funny_me 7
I'm on my iPod app. It's got little arrows to reply and the mistake I made was I thought I was already in the comments menu to another comment (confused yet?) but it turns out I wasn't hehe.
lifeindafastlane 1
that's gross checking out ur sister and having dirty thoughts
FelicityWishes 32
No one said anything about thoughts. An erection isn't a thought.
anzie_fml 9
But if lots of guys think with their dick, then who says an erection isn't just a lightbulb going off?
RoboCunnilingus 23
Wait, were you staring at her, op?
Bowlcuts 1
Yo 21 that was funny as shit and you know it
DomDomxoxo 16
Penguinbitch: I think 28 was trying to be funny, because 21 also didn't reply. If that makes sense...
LO388 7
59 - I think you might be giving him too much credit.
bandofsand 10
I had the same thought as 59.
bluntbeak 6
the guilt...