By Operation Yewtree here I come - 26/09/2014 20:40 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 319
You deserved it 4 202

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Top comments

I'll bet he was disappointed when you started gagging because you couldn't handle it.

Old people rule.

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Old people rule.

Let's hope he was pranking you and is on the show, Off their rockers.

This old person was pretty gross and rude.

Le Herbert from family guy

old people just tend to speak their mind. sometimes you end up with cool story's or good advice, and sometimes you end up with sexual comments about fruit.

mikaellikestacos 14

What if he was actually saying he wants to be eaten o.o

xSLEEPYxHEADx 22

#53, exactly my first thought. Eww >.

jmdnba097 12

What if he is saying wants to literally be the banana, whose existence will be ending, because his is 100% done with life

old people just dont give a fuck anymore.

I'll bet he was disappointed when you started gagging because you couldn't handle it.

i dont know, some people fantasize about their partner gagging on their dick. whatever floats your boat.

RedPillSucks 31

Don't know why the down vote. I thought it was pretty funny

Maybe because if he were disappointed he wouldn't wish he was that banana?

Yep, that must be it.

@7 this is true

You'll always have a story to tell now...?

Oh yeah, people would so like to hear OP say: "yeah, there was a time when I was in the park and I was eating a banana when an old dude came and told me that he wished he was the banana!" That's a funny story to tell!

orbit 22

Scary story*

Kevlar_burrito 6

That's the entire point of FML. #38...do you think things through before you type the? or do you just mash your keypad and hope for the best?

Shoulda stared him in the eyes and bit the banana in half...

And crushed what was left in your hand.

isabelf 17

I think he was a little too busy choking to do that...

SarahSehhati 40

Yes! The best way get revenge on the old folks is to go along with their game! but doing better!

Pstraka6 20

What does one even say to that? Forget that even happened

kyu_Q 19

Hmmm a real life mr. herbert

Don't you just love old people? They can get away with saying anything lol

Actually the same thing happened to me but with my brother. I was eating a Popsicle at a beach party. And my drunk brother came up to me and said "I wish my dick was that Popsicle, because you're looking fine girl" and winked at me. He never realized it was me

Ha. That's funny and sad at the same time. Did you ever manage to see him in the eye again?

#12: That's gotta do some weird shit to your sibling relationship, yeah?

plottwist! he knew it was you!

Wincest ftw!!!

Cersei, is that you ?

Remind me to do that when I get old.

and I guess you will never eat a banana again....

Not in public, at least.

People at work will find him hiding in the bathroom stalls eating his lunch.