By MC Turtledick - 15/02/2012 01:28 - United States

Today, I walked out and saw four kids mercilessly keying my car. When I questioned them on it, they said "Oh, that was your car? Oh well at least we didn't pee on your door handles too." FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 740
You deserved it 2 159

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Think I would be bitch slapping some kids.

thejewishfuhrer 17

You saw 4 kids keying your car, and your only response was to "question" them about it?


DontClickOnMe 28

Man, I'd be so mad. Pee can wash off, even though that's gross, but key marks are hard to get off.

n_epic_fail 14

You "questioned them?" their asses would be mounted on my wall (spongebob style).

Mercilessly cut their throats and piss on the bodies. Keep the bodies for a while.Set them at a dinner table (family dinner style) then when the cops finally get you,you have reason to plead temporary insanity. Little stint in a mental hospital and bam,you're back on the street in no time.

EvilTwerp 12

It's not so much hard, as it is tedious. If they're light scratches, you could probably sand them with 2000 grit sandpaper. Then put rubbing compound on it and buff the scratches out. Just sand it until you can't feel the scratches anymore. If it's deep scratches, take it to a shop if you have the money.

I can't stand worthless pieces of shit like that in society. Lucky they didn't key my car and have me caught them!

If OP had reported it to the police, then their pathetic excuse for parents would have had to pay up to fix the damage. Should have done something else besides ask questions...

Sixers01 0

Thats not a time to be questioning, its wheb you grab one and start beating the crap out of him

I would have held them my car for a cop to come pick them up. if they bother to struggle, I get the pleasure of holding them down.

thejewishfuhrer 17

You saw 4 kids keying your car, and your only response was to "question" them about it?

2-I'd go Clint Eastwood on those kids. Leave no survivors. The question I would ask is, "You gotta ask yourself one question...'Do I feel lucky?' Well do ya, punk?"

alstbv12 13

".44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world" I also love the way the guy on the ground says "I gotsta know" ... Man that movie should be required in school.

... And thats when i killed them your honor.

Think I would be bitch slapping some kids.

lebronesque73091 12

There would be four missing children if that was me.

79- they wouldn't be missing. They would be flattened by my car, with their keys up their asses and holes in their genitals. And, do you know their names and addresses?

Do you, MC Turtledick? Do you know their names?

Do you, MC Turtledick? Do you know their names?

Should of roundhouse kicked them in the face

Mister_Triangle 21

Which part of "should of" makes logical sense to you? Think about what you type; words have actual meanings, ya know?

Oops I didn't proof read my post before before hitting send. I meant for it to say "should've". Now I just feel dumb....

Even that still sounds lazy now that I sound it out. Ewe

boomhauer18 3

All you people do is try and correct people for mispelling words yall need to get alive

39- I am alive. Oh look, I'm using punctuation too! This proper English thing is tricky for you isn't it?

ninjuh_wingman 29

I would've slapped the shit out of them.

Kaffle 5

You could have always peed on them *shrugs*

SpruceDread4578 13

Not yet, you must still cratch them mercilessly with your keys.

Yea and then your now on the sexual predator listings.

SpruceDread4578 13

*scratch. Oh keyboards are so not made for bigger fingers.

Time to go brand your initials into their skin. Then make them be grateful that you didn't pee on them too.

bunch of punks, they think it's'll happen to them when they have their own car and they'll wonder why the world "hates them so much"

mama2b3 20

I love when you can find the silver lining in a bad situation :D

Fuck. I woulda rather the piss on my car. But I think I would do more than question them. "Um, excuse me. Sorry to bother you but I noticed you FUCKING UP MY CAR! Why is that?"

That response was epic! Laughed my ass off!

In my mind I read your comment in Stewie's voice :D OP I would've been so mad there would not be any questioning of any sort! They better be glad you weren't someone that was crazy, and carried a firearm.

Appropriate. I DO have an English accent. Maybe it was meant to be.