By really?!

Troll level 3000

Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

1822

You deserved it

123

Favorite

Leave us alone

Out of it

The road to hell…

By Anonymous

Today, my anxiety has been so bad, I have had vivid dreams of my boyfriend of 6 months cheating on me. This is not the first time these dreams have happened, and I know for a fact he is not cheating. My anxiety is going to turn me into the crazy girlfriend from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1845

You deserved it

288

Favorite

By AreYouSerious - United States

Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

69676

You deserved it

3643

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31008

You deserved it

4814

Favorite

By Chanman1924 - United States

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37471

You deserved it

3738

Favorite

By thisrllysucks - United States

Today, I was going to ask this girl I love to homecoming. I set up a scavenger hunt, and my friend led her through it. At the end of the scavenger hunt I had a note that said, "Homecoming?" She said yes and hugged my friend. When I told her it was me who was asking, she laughed and said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49606

You deserved it

10613

Favorite

By :/ - Australia - North Lakes

Today, I talked to my high school sweetheart after 12 years. He confessed that he's been single ever since we broke up, never got over me, and that to this day he loves me dearly. I'm a married mother of two. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21867

You deserved it

2557

Favorite

By UniGrad2019 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, after months of all my friends telling me that the guy whom I was in love with most definitely held feelings for me, I was finally convinced by their words, and with confidence I went and confessed my feelings to him. I was rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21707

You deserved it

1966

Favorite

By ===== - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28600

You deserved it

49869

Favorite

By fretting - United States - Fort White

Today, my co-worker, who used to be in a frat with me in college, decided to tell all my coworkers as well as my boss all the stupid things I did in college, starting with the time a girl stole my clothes and I had to walk across campus naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12992

You deserved it

1726

Favorite

By bad in the sack - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55016

You deserved it

11406

Favorite

By Alisha-_-

Today, I found out that the love of my life had been pleasuring himself to pictures of my ex-boyfriends. Yes, he's bisexual. He says it's ok because I'm dating him now. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3143

You deserved it

427

Favorite

By wow - United States - Cape Coral

Today, my mother told me that I was "made" in the bathroom of the store I work at now. She even pointed out which stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60883

You deserved it

5417

Favorite

By tkrause - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41319

You deserved it

4139

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/6/2020 05:05

Bitch ass move

Today, my partner and I had bought a short bus to convert to an RV, which is done and we are now ready to move in. That night, after I’m fully out of my place, she informs me she has feelings for my roommate and it’s something she must explore. I'm now homeless and they are traveling around in the conversion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2203

You deserved it

189

Favorite

By oldtimerclark - United States

Today, I was talking to my only grandson about how I was going to the dentist to get my teeth fixed and how it was going to cost a lot of money, he replied saying "Who cares, you're going to die soon anyways". FML

I agree, your life sucks

67514

You deserved it

3941

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Warren

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63522

You deserved it

6438

Favorite

By joe - France

Today, the only man who has ever fallen in love with me is bald. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11416

You deserved it

37751

Favorite

By nametag - Canada

Today, I finally got my nametag. I had been using other people's names like Maria and Caie for a week, so I was happy to be called my own name. I put it on and got to work. Ten minutes later, I was called into the office. I got laid off. I got to wear my nametag for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50787

You deserved it

3909

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, after ranting to my best friend about how all our friends are having kids and how teenage pregnancy will ruin their lives, she announced to me that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29588

You deserved it

7299

Favorite

By pchemist - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks

89229

You deserved it

6955

Favorite

By eyeleanify - United States

Today, I hit a car while trying to park. Assuming that no one saw, I moved my car and parked somewhere else. Hours later I get a call from the university police. While backing up to go to the police station I hit another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7727

You deserved it

55827

Favorite

By ScreweD- - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got a writing assignment back. After meeting with my professor specially after class and meticulously combing through every word of that paper, I got a low D. Turns out, he graded me down on every suggestion of his that I took. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25045

You deserved it

2083

Favorite

By Ah hell - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11826

You deserved it

52392

Favorite

By cramps - Australia

Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59112

You deserved it

3979

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed how big my brother's package is. If it hadn't been for the fact that my family has taken up walking around naked half the day, I never would have had to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36114

You deserved it

4151

Favorite

By bruised_scrotum - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54326

You deserved it

4790

Favorite

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 20:02 - United States

Diaspora

Today, I found out the guy i've been crushing on might be my cousin. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

762

You deserved it

170

Favorite

By hmb - United States

Today, my dog used my stomach as a trampoline to jump onto the couch. I wouldn't have minded so much if I wasn't still recovering from having my appendix removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35990

You deserved it

2894

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Victoria

Today, I accidentally forwarded a link to a weird fart porn video to my chat group. They've been silent for 30 minutes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16324

You deserved it

13369

Favorite

By OhDearGodGrandad - United Kingdom - Ilford

Today, I saw my grandfather on the train, with his cock out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27652

You deserved it

2117

Favorite

By pixkalexi - United States - North Easton

Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39934

You deserved it

4838

Favorite

By sam_666777 - United States - Farmingdale

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40979

You deserved it

10362

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44608

You deserved it

7872

Favorite

By NowImSingle

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML

I agree, your life sucks

5389

You deserved it

401

Favorite

By Ryan - United States

Today, after a long discussion, my dad still doesn't understand how evolution works, and thinks it's a myth that was debunked a long time ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24129

You deserved it

8149

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/2/2021 20:01 - Australia

Keep your distance

Today, as I served an elderly man at the fast-food restaurant where I work, he leaned over the counter so that his face was mere inches from mine and asked me if I wanted to buy his car. When I politely told him I wasn't interested, he insisted on making a complaint about me to my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks

795

You deserved it

Favorite

By NeverEndingBathtime_

Today, my 2 year old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (it took me 2 seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4630

You deserved it

1036

Favorite

By Awkward - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38778

You deserved it

3838

Favorite

By Charlie - Australia

Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her around, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44383

You deserved it

21072

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend in my dorm room. My roommate came in, despite the signal I had up on the door. She didn't leave. She got on her computer and started playing Solitaire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26875

You deserved it

5641

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By RichardPencil | 30

#7891350 - Sunday 22 March 2020 7:14

He's probably right unless you get lucky with a surveillance camera or get the note DNA-tested.

Let's just hope the motherfucker gets coronavirus!

By FunnyTechGuy | 2

#7891522 - Sunday 22 March 2020 20:51

It will be okay. Karma knows where he lives!

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 30

#7891350 - Sunday 22 March 2020 7:14

He's probably right unless you get lucky with a surveillance camera or get the note DNA-tested.

Let's just hope the motherfucker gets coronavirus!

By FunnyTechGuy | 2

#7891522 - Sunday 22 March 2020 20:51

It will be okay. Karma knows where he lives!

By WistayShlaio82 | 13

#7893409 - Sunday 29 March 2020 23:03

In my experience, an investigation would find a certain block of time of the day it happened and pay certain managers to take a peak at cameras then get a make model year and color of the car, take that to the auto shops around town and see which one is working on a match. Then call the police.