Today, I walked out and saw four kids mercilessly keying my car. When I questioned them on it, they said "Oh, that was your car? Oh well at least we didn't pee on your door handles too." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML
Today, some kids stole all four wheels off my car. They were nice enough to leave a note and some money though, "for the bus". FML
Today, I got my car back from the repair shop. After paying $400 for them to fix the scratches on the driver's side door, some one decided to key both sides of my car while I was on my lunch break from work. FML
Today, my keys disappeared out of my car door during the 50 foot walk to the trash can. When I finally went to security after trying to find them, they said someone drove off with my car right as I walked in the door. FML
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon." FML
Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, I left for work. Halfway to my car, my neighbour's son jumped out and emptied a bucket of water all over me. The little pissant screamed with laughter and ran back to his house. His mum's reaction was essentially, "Kids will be kids" and slamming the door on me. FML
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Top comments
jabfinch 9
Think I would be bitch slapping some kids.
thejewishfuhrer 17
You saw 4 kids keying your car, and your only response was to "question" them about it?
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Comments (120)
EmoBitchRock 0
I would have beat the shit out of them.
Breezy4sheezy 2
That's why I invested in slingshots and bb guns.
OfficeNinja 5
See! Could have been worse. They did not piss on your door handles. Or shit on your porch. I would have replied "and at least I did not kick you in the face" - then promptly kicked one of the vandal bastards in the nuts.
BlAzEtHiS 0
I would've grabbed at least one of those lil ***** and called the cops. At least they could pay for your newly needed paint job since they are poorly raised, destructive adolescents. Maybe they'll learn not to **** up other peoples things.
angrynegro7 16
That shit is worthy of a suplex!
Unlucky_Gun 0
FYL. FYL even more if they would've pissed on your door handles too. If they or anybody was keying my car then I'd kick and punch them around for a few mins and then key their faces. Even if they were under 18 (I'm 18) I'd still beat the shit out of them, curve stomp their asses, drop kick them and do some major scratch damage to their ugly faces with my keys (that is if it was a guy doing it. If it was a girl I'd just call the cops). They'd regret doing it, and maybe even regret being born
roflmaotff 0
Them little bastards would of been on there way to Juvenal hall if it was my car and the parents would of been paying for a new paint job
lukemack 4
I work in a car repair shop and I can tell you if there light scratches they could buff it out still would cost about 600 to buff all the scratches out if you can't buff them out it would cost a few thousand
xxrinabby 3
And then is when you beat them.
MexicanObama 15
They would have been on their way to hospital if they had done that to my car.