Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML
Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML
Today, I was promoted to a management position and finally get to have my own office, only to find out it's located in the basement and has no windows. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Today, I got a new chair at work. After spending three hours putting it together, I was called into my boss's office and let go. FML
Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML
Today, a month after getting a big promotion, I found out that I'm stuck with my old job. No one wants to take my old position, so they are vacating my new one and will post it, because, "This one is more desirable, and your's is shit." FML
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Top comments
MissWhitneyB 17
People get so bitter but you know what OP, you got the promotion and dererved it so congrats to you. :)
Wizardo 33
Office warming present and it looks like someone else was trying for the promotion too... straining for it in fact.
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Comments (107)
dinagdotphoto 13
Tell your coworkers to cut that shit out'
ghil15 8
someone might have hate u that much!
The_Nuke 31
I guess you could say *puts on shades* that it was a shitty start to the day
Ctrl_H 18
Could it be? An FML that envolves crap, and there's no "shitty situation" pun? I guess we finally rid the site of it. Good work guys, next up is "sticky situation."
yesyesnonono 10
You got promoted and they didn't. Fire whoever's it is.
suri23 11
Does the shitter know you can recover DNA from the turd and identify her/him? Not expensive to do, so...
MandySkittles 18
Check the security camera footage, DNA test it, get whoever was foolish and jealous enough to do that fired. They took a dump on your desk, you take one on their employment :)
RaivenGizmo 14
Wow, that must have been one shitty day
skate_all_dayy 5
Aww that's some shit.
ShoyuSauceSoup 26
I know how you feel. When I was at highschool, someone took a dump in my backpack. It was very disrespectful and gross. Nowadays I can laugh at it, but I was very angry when it happened.