Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML
Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML
Today, I was promoted to a management position and finally get to have my own office, only to find out it's located in the basement and has no windows. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Today, I got a new chair at work. After spending three hours putting it together, I was called into my boss's office and let go. FML
Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML
Today, a month after getting a big promotion, I found out that I'm stuck with my old job. No one wants to take my old position, so they are vacating my new one and will post it, because, "This one is more desirable, and your's is shit." FML
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Top comments
MissWhitneyB 17
People get so bitter but you know what OP, you got the promotion and dererved it so congrats to you. :)
Wizardo 33
Office warming present and it looks like someone else was trying for the promotion too... straining for it in fact.
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Comments (107)
Treveyon56 14
Wow someone really hates you for getting the job. Just be prepared for other surprises.
Sarahandlucas 9
How does op deserve that!?!
siggy_mcsigx 22
Sounds like you work around a lot of men.
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
I wouldn't presume that the culprit was a sexist male coworker.
thejimler 9
Women poop too you know!
SlapAndTickle 20
No we don't #44. We don't poop, fart or burp. We've evolved so much we do not need normal bodily functions anymore.
Typicall 21
^ That comment made me crack up in a quiet area.
SlapAndTickle 20
I hope I didn't get you into trouble. D:
Conn3ct 9
It just comes out as nagging and rage instead, doesn't it #46?
SlapAndTickle 20
You just wait until we evolve more and become asexual. You will be ******... just not by us.
elcee1987 18
Bahaha this made me lol, literally. Sorry dude but that's some funny shit.
thatnucca 36
Ain't that some shit?!
Citronnelle_fml 9
Somebody's been taking too much after the guy who's LIKE A BOSS.
SAgirl 21
Need more info, was there someone ells trying to get the same promotion?
mangobbler 11
Somehow I can picture Caruso from CSI making a joke on how "shitty" the situation is...
littlerawr 13
At least now you're promoted, you don't have to clean up! After all, you're higher than the rest of them. ;)
ohro 10
*Smells* like jealousy to me. Don't stress about it bc you got the promotion! Congrats :)