At least you didn't crap yourself with excitement!

I would have just told him cause i have no shame. " yo dawg i gotta POO!"

I would have fired him on the spot for using the word 'dawg'

I'm thinking you should tell him that since you are both dudes he will understand

Shit all over his desk, that'll show him.

You could've just let it go and said you were so excited you shit your pants.

That's why I stay away from Taco Bell before work. You just never know...

Yeah and Chipotle, that's gonna make you bleed from your butthole south park reference anyone?

Just get Chipotle-Away

#2. Diarrhea: a very loud, wet fart followed by flames, lava and a very displeased boss. Clearing the building in that fashion would probably get op demoted to janitor.

That is, indeed, pretty shitty.

Please don't use, "shitty" puns. They're not funny.

Bravo *loud claps*

If the embarrassment is worth the promotion, you could just explain that you had an upset stomach when you were told, and that you are, in fact, very excited for it. Not that difficult.

Seriously. Sometimes people just don't think to explain what happened.

Nothing to be embarrassed about either! Everyone poops!

^Except girls. Duh! Y'all fart rainbows tho!

@43 but not everyone has ED (Explosive Diarrhea, or Erectile Dysfunction. Hopefully not both at the same time (ED)^2 )

I think you're confusing ladies with unicorns, 48.

How was that intimate?!

You should have ran with it. But maybe that's being too lax.

He would've been wasting his breath. He should have just sat down on a stool and contemplated what to do next.

That's a shitty time to get diarrhea, it might have been best to just be honest and hope he saw the funny side.

There must be a reason this is in the intimacy category. OP is one kinky guy.

I'm sure if you explain that to him he'll understand, and will maybe even have a good laugh about it and realise how silly it was for him to be so hasty! congrats tho OP!

Sound like a *lowers sunglasses* shitty situation.

No. Perdix you are witty enough not to rely an overly used and abused meme. Did not like, wouldn't read again. A for effort. Etc.

Seriously Perdix you can't tell me you looked at your comment and were like "Yes! This is ready! Time to post!"....

Lol perdix :D

I thought it was a good time because it's really a doubly shitty situation -- in addition to what's going on in the his pants, I thought it was pretty shitty that the boss was rethinking the promotion due to the OP's lack of excitement.

Joke was fine, and gotten. You just packaged it up in a godawful meme, lol.

Damn I just realised. I read again. Touché.

Yes, touché indeed. I retract my statement Perdix, keep calm and chive on.

"Joke was fine". "A for effort". I appreciate a lot of the users here, like Perdix, but trust me if another user's comment was "shitty situation", a lot of you ass-kissers would be talking shite, telling them they're "unoriginal", "no", and "over used". Good day!

Did I seriously just get grouped in the, no doubt highly sought after, 'Perdix asslickers' group? Please re read my posts. The material was there for a good joke, it just did t happen.

Perdix used the sunglasses, that makes it ok.

I, umm, don't know Perdix, but thanks for coming across as an asshole #31.

31 seems to be coming across just fine.

Okay, he was criticized but my point still stands that if someone were to comment "shitty situation" most of you wouldn't have been lenient towards him unlike Perdix. I know he jokes a lot and I guess his "veteran" status favors the users and no, I didn't see your comment, I spent an awful time writing that comment not trying to sound like an ass.

I'd say he came across as a bit of an asshole. But that's because he totally misread my posts, or at least the point of them. I'm biased.

I didn't "totally" misread your post. But I see you added more to your second post.

this thread is what happens when a great commenter makes a crappy comment. an equivalent would be a girl taking a shit. it's common knowledge that they excrete rainbows and glitter everytime they void their bowels, until that one time you walk in on them actually shitting because they left the door unlocked this one time, and you realize that they are just like the rest of us.

In the immortal words of Paris Hilton....Come again??

or another possibility: there is a room somewhere in which Doc, perdix, and all the FML moderators get together and make ceramic dolls. when other FML'ers make stupid comments like "Dump Him." or "That's a shitty situation." or "That sucks OP, FYL for sure.", they take these ceramic dolls and throw them at the wall, where the comments are forever imprinted. this has worked for awhile, but due to the flood of terrible comments lately, they have run out of ceramic dolls. so ya when perdix threw his phone at the wall instead, the terrible comment was implanted on this thread. please donate more ceramic dolls to perdix so this doesn't happen again.

@PenguinBitch. Not sure what your issue with perdix is. If you actually paid attention you'd see that he gets thumbed down quite a bit. Not all of perdix comments are appreciated by FMLers. Quite a few of them are in the "holy shit, did he just comment that?" where people cringe when they read his posts. He does have a flair for witty comments but they don't all work. Stop trying to be a hater. If you don't like his comments, thumb him down. There's no FML Illuminati conspiracy shining perdix boots with their tongue. That's reserved for KaySL and Sirin

Wow, I'm flattered that my comment has generated such vigorous debate and inspired such speculation. I'm not going to try to defend my comment any further, but I want to let you know that I think it may be possible that one day a "Soviet Russia" joke could be funny. I'm not sure that day will come in my lifetime, but if it does, I'm going to go for it! Fair warning ;)

Holy hell, there's a Perdix asslickers' group? Dude, Where do I sign UP for that sh*t? Is there some sort of annual meeting I can attend?

#58, if you find out about that, would you let me know? I'd really like to go!!!

@Redpillsucks: I'm not hating on Perdix. I never said I hated him. But your first point sounds correct in terms of replies from the other users being more "surprised". Case close.

Sooo .. where IS Doc?

I think the fact that everyone is either defending you or attacking you, should greatly flatter you. Since you've been here since I can remember (2009??) you've gone up and down in fame and hatred. It's a cruel cycle. So, enjoy the fight! P.S. why are you guys arguing anyhow? Yes Perdix does get a bit more leg room due to his status here, but getting upset that people aren't attacking him like they do others is just silly.

I'm just here for the free thumbs down. Light me up, nutjobs!