Bluffing with that great poker face.

He said he would be "All in," and he even invited his poker friend over for a "three of a kind." His friend of course called him on that, and revealed that it was going to be a "full house" in her.

sounds like everyone has an Ace up their sleeves

Sounds like he was going to do a 'Royal Flush' in her. Sounds like OP got dealt a bad hand with his dad.

Poker face. Poker face. He wanna poke her face.

^ No

haha thank you. Was thinking the same

Ahem, what 40-50 year old man doesn't occasionally let his mind drift toward the babysitter/ son's girlfriend/ neighbor's daughter? Though discussing it showed a major lack of respect..

On the other hand, he basically commented on her beauty. But I agree, FYL

For the people who thumbs him down and don't understand ass is another word for donkey so he just switched em

Ok, ass isn't such a bad word, but if he really wanted to get that point across without swearing, he should have used a synonym for the insult (like jerk or something). Calling someone a donkey is just... strange.

Actually its a poker term for a bad player

Oh.. Sorry, I'm not familiar with poker :p Well I feel stupid now.

OPs dad said he's going shag his sons gf, if she wasn't his gf. It clearly says this in the FML...

#13, did I have to spell out "poke her?"

Yup. Liquor in the front, poker in the rear.

#31, haha, that phrase crossed my mind, too, but I was gunning to post the Second-Best One-Word Comment of All-Time (imma let you finish). First place is a tie for every time that "YOLO" has been the perfect comment. :D

Lofty goal, trying to beat out "ouch", "damn" and the venerable "ermahgerd".

#41, WTF is an abbreviation, not an acronym. I learned from the late, great George Carlin that an acronym is an abbreviation you can pronounce as a word. The way he put it was: "The IRS, CIA and FBI are not acronyms. They're just pricks." RIP, George!