Love: Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep....

By quietsleeper - 13/10/2009 11:07 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 511

You deserved it 2 968

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Same thing different taste

Chainsaw massacre

By sleepless in sleeplessness - 18/06/2021 11:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snores like a lumberjack. Even when I leave to sleep on the couch, I can still hear her through the door. She won’t go to the doctor because, "snoring runs in her family and they’re all just fine." Yeah, uh huh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 144

Booming

By Whats a Snorlack - 10/04/2023 03:00

Today, my new (and possibly ex) husband told me he is reconsidering staying married to me. He thinks my snoring is “so unlady like” and he can’t live the rest of his life sleeping with a “fucking Snorlax.” I’ve had sleep apnea since my mid 20s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 191

By Sleep Deprived - 25/12/2011 05:27 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 198

You deserved it 3 808

Earthquake

By Bolin - 17/05/2021 08:08

Today, I have to sleep in another room, with the door closed, because if I don't, my girlfriend's snoring will keep me awake. I was diagnosed with chronic insomnia because of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 132

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 113

You deserved it 41 514

Zzzzzzzz

By turnedintoinsomniac - 21/01/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 509

You deserved it 2 868

By kingkobrastrikes - 21/01/2015 01:56 - United States

Today, I was asleep and snored so loud that I woke myself up. I was at work and I am now the laughing stock of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 517

You deserved it 20 540

When you're in a dream…

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 01:40 - United States

Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 023

You deserved it 3 098

No Ragrets

By Rodolfo_el - 17/04/2021 10:59

Today, my wife made me sleep on the couch because I ate the last Magnum Ice Cream bar. Last week, she bitched me out for singing too loud in the shower. I strongly regret leaving my ex-girlfriend of 5 years for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 1 893

Zzzzzzz

By Alyssa - 21/09/2016 07:17 - United States - Spring Park

Today, my fiancé, my two-year-old, and my dog are all sleeping peacefully next to me in our new king-sized memory foam bed. It's 2:15 in the morning. Why am I not sleeping? Because they all snore, one right after the other. It's like an endless song of snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 309

You deserved it 1 226

jmcow 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:17

Sucks man. fyl. You're ex-wife wanted the whole bed to herself. But at least you have a girlfriend now.

allmightyspiff 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:12

Actually snoring can be caused by stress, so maybe thats the problem? http://www.etipsguide.com/snoring-and-stress.html

Comments

fylisbetter 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:07

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Bag3l 0

Saturday 12 June 2010 14:48

yep

MegamiKaosu 28

Saturday 10 September 2011 10:32

yea same here my bf snores so loud I can hear him in the next room over and my fatherinlaw from the other side of the house and his room is next to ours : ppl ask me how I even get sleep with their snoring to OP I think your ex wife didn't like sleeping with you o.o or sone thing idk

Nonamerequired 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:07

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AndreaHatesYou1 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 17:08

Wow. You're really that stupid? He didn't snore, that's why it's an FML (even though it really isn't, that's why OP thinks it is). 'Cause she was lying to come up with a reason to get him out of the bed. People on here really are incredibly stupid.

GreenHacker 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 20:23

Yeah, but who gives a shit? He's not married to her anymore. He's with someone who is honest with him now. Not an FML

neonokku 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 21:25

oh i get it! before i read #20 i was like 'huh....? ._.'

mystomachurts 3

Tuesday 13 October 2009 22:02

Normally I would've written a comment exactly like #20's .... but it also could be that his new girlfriend is a very heavy sleeper (which I happen to be) Because I have never been bothered by guy's snoring ever cause I never hear it? So his new gf might just not be aware of it?

AndyL_fml 0

Friday 16 October 2009 0:41

You are "here" too are you stupid too? Doesn't it mean your girlfriend don't want to make you feel bad because your snoring or she didn't even sleep with you, like... you know what I mean.

IamSpartacus 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 9:21

#53 pwned you.

WinRarGuy_96 0

Monday 19 October 2009 5:06

My exact thoughts..

PainInTheAsss 16

Thursday 7 July 2016 20:27

You're really just missing the point.

Camelnaction 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:08

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meeeep 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:09

this is an FML because his wife made him sleep on the couch for other reasons, since he obviously doesn't snore.

Veritas143 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:26

So?he's not married to her anymore..you have a new gf.. Stop bitchin

Mc09toofine 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:11

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A83_fml 18

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:54

all I can say is... IQ dropped 10 points. Read a book, get smarter, and read this again, maybe you'll understand why this is an FML.

nazooer 11

Tuesday 13 October 2009 21:36

I wouldn't say it's an FML, though... Damn the "FML's" Aren't funny anymore

Mc09toofine 0

Wednesday 14 October 2009 5:51

Oh **** you!!

xMegan96 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 2:38

actually this is an FML. read it again.

allmightyspiff 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:12

Actually snoring can be caused by stress, so maybe thats the problem? http://www.etipsguide.com/snoring-and-stress.html

jmcow 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:17

Sucks man. fyl. You're ex-wife wanted the whole bed to herself. But at least you have a girlfriend now.

iamverybored0001 0

Friday 16 December 2011 3:56

Maybe it wasnt to herself...

stephan18 23

Sunday 7 October 2012 1:07

She probably had guys sneaking in :s damn op, right under your nose

kindness 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:17

it's slack. cos if she didn't want to be in the same bed with him she should have slept on the bloody couch. but. perhaps you did actually used to snore. it is a possibility. even so, it was slack to make you sleep on the couch. she could have used earplugs or something...

sublime93 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:39

A "slack"?

yem2004 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:20

as was previously stated. how is this an FML? consider yourself lucky. previous wife sounds pretty f'd. this one sounds more like a keeper.

kukopia 0

Tuesday 13 October 2009 18:18

Just 'cause she say's he doesn't snore makes her a keeper? Man, talk about low standards.

Anon17564 3

Tuesday 13 October 2009 16:22

It's clear it was just passive aggressiveness from the ex-wife. But, this is hardly FML. It's not exactly a giant leap of imagination to think that your ex-wife was doing these things and it's only a small part of what was happening. Now you found out she was lying and you don't snore. That's good news, surely.