Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom and dad. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, my dad called in a rage, saying he caught my "cheating whore" girlfriend at a bar on a date. I had to admit to him that she and I participate in a cuckold lifestyle. The sheer disgust and disappointment in his voice has been haunting me all day. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
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Top comments
DerrickJames 33
Maybe he was bluffing?
Riya2595 15
You can use this against him later.
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Comments (50)
Acik91 26
Well, at least he respects the fact she's your girlfriend. Just make sure that if you ever break up with her she doesn't become your mother-in-law.
vespergreen 17
Assuming that the age gap between him and his girlfriend is not huge, how the hell would the girlfriend ever be his mother-in-law (suppose they break up) in the future, unless he's a pedophile? I'm assuming you meant "mother" instead.
Soloman212 28
And I don't think it's considered respect to discuss such things with friends.
SammyS2012 21
You meant step mother.
arre2006 19
He's still a guy. Men think about plowing other girls all the time. Although if she's a teen, your dad has major issues then
NeighSoulSister 6
Thinking about it is one thing, but actually talking about it with friends may be a bit too far.
pedinhuh 23
....I can't be the only one who imagined this FML with everyone playing strip poker....
Danielle7994 18
Lol that's actually what I thought this FML was going to be about too
joawmeens 7
Well NOW you're not!! Thanks for that visual...
unhappyhug 11
I love when guys say "I would do her" like it's gonna happen just because its said lol
perdix 31
You need to be careful. That "if you weren't dating her" restriction tends to get relaxed after a few cocktails.
Nekogami 14
This is very true. Sage words perdix. ( apparently your name auto corrects to prefix, btw. Lol. )
tishtashbat 16
At least he said if you WEREN'T dating her - there are people who would hit on/sleep with their family member's partners behind their back. Awkward, but I don't think there's much to worry about as long as you trust your girlfriend and she doesn't have a thing for older guys :P
8313girl 28
If you do ever invite her over to the house again, don't let her out if your sight. I'm sure you won't have her over anymore. If I found out my man's dad wanted to do me I'd never go back to that house again.
thatnucca 36
So he was all about Pok-Her that night huh?
williemac98 8
Well, at least you have a hot girlfriend.
venus89 17
Like father like son
Samafilbeit 11
At least he said what he would do to her, and not what he did to her last night...still FYL for having an ass for a father.