Intimacy: Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML - FML

By SCARRED - United States - Kansas City

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50629

You deserved it

7541

Tweet

Share

Dangling modifier

Dementia or hate? You decide

Season finale

By unashamed - Australia - Ipswich

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45957

You deserved it

4715

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Gatineau

Today, my dad was doing FaceTime with a friend. He turned his iPhone towards my sister and said "There's my daughter..." He then turned it to me and said "...and there's my ugly son", then walked away. I'm still not sure if it's a joke or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42230

You deserved it

3870

Tweet

Share

By Nic - United States

Today, I just studied for 13.5 hours completely outlining a book for history. Thirty minutes before the test, I realized I had been reading the wrong book. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37743

You deserved it

42889

Tweet

Share

By flowerging - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44412

You deserved it

16220

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65503

You deserved it

4820

Tweet

Share

By grossuncle - United States

Today, I was bored at work looking at a sex offender list of my area. After a couple pages, I saw my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46076

You deserved it

2835

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was running a marathon for my school. Two hot girls started talking to me, so I glanced at them and smiled. I turned back, just in time to knee a little boy in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27050

You deserved it

7764

Tweet

Share

By Hot Pants - United Kingdom

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25352

You deserved it

5784

Tweet

Share

By WillaminaL - Canada

Today, while over at a friend's house, I saw a framed picture of a young African boy on her fridge. I asked, "Oh, is this one of those kids you adopt from third world countries? My grandma does that too." She responded, "What do you mean? That's my cousin." FML

I agree, your life sucks

11090

You deserved it

40206

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Bristol

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding at the last moment, because her neurotic sister thinks she's "too fat" to be the maid of honor, and says she needs several months to lose weight. So that's a few thousand dollars wasted. My fiancée says I'm "overreacting" and that I "just don't get it". FML

I agree, your life sucks

36981

You deserved it

3310

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 31/10/2020 02:01

Thanks for the support

Today, I revealed to my parents that I'm planning on opening a food truck in the next few months. They both laughed in my face and said I'll never make any money. I've been working on this for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1022

You deserved it

118

Tweet

Share

By ¬_¬ - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared for a moment, said "Son, I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but... nevermind." then shook his head and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41326

You deserved it

26532

Tweet

Share

By Brinty - Australia

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38574

You deserved it

4533

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36981

You deserved it

4631

Tweet

Share

By confused - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31065

You deserved it

8669

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I was running with two other women when a guy started tailing us in his car and catcalling. I quickly got fed up and gave him the finger. Turns out, he's the husband of one of the women I was running with. For the next half hour, I had to listen to her go on about how adorable he was. She totally saw what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1729

You deserved it

335

Tweet

Share

By JazzSpazz - United States

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51822

You deserved it

23993

Tweet

Share

By iDisable - Australia

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to disable my iPod Touch for 45 minutes. After 45 minutes, I went to enter my password. I missed a number accidentally. 50 minutes to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24588

You deserved it

30656

Tweet

Share

By no - United States

Today, I locked myself out of my truck for the first time. While trying to unlock it, it started to rain. After half an hour, I successfully unlocked the door and then drove over my book bag, which I had placed underneath the car to keep it out of the rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38325

You deserved it

14647

Tweet

Share

By sigh - United States

Today, I was called a "whore," a "demon," a "piece of shit," and a "disrespectful bitch." All of this happened because I wouldn't let my mother-in-law borrow my car. This is a woman with multiple speeding tickets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35004

You deserved it

3093

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Germany - Bad Windsheim

Today, I went to the supermarket to get some Easter gifts for my kids. At the register, I was verbally abused to the point of tears by the cashier, for having way too many items for the 12 items or less lane. I had 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40421

You deserved it

15585

Tweet

Share

By pagvscgrac - United States

Today, I got a hand cramp from popping zits on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13036

You deserved it

25296

Tweet

Share

By Britney - United States

Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29429

You deserved it

2339

Tweet

Share

By Spa Catholic - United States - Taunton

Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31452

You deserved it

2095

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/7/2020 14:01

Good boy, best boy

Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1125

You deserved it

380

Tweet

Share

By Stigmamma - 28/6/2020 05:06

Taking advantage

Today, after 3 months of my man claiming he's going to start eating better "next week", he finally went on a diet. What changed? I started eating healthy while trying for a baby. He is "supporting me" by getting me to do extra meal prep for him too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1231

You deserved it

260

Tweet

Share

By dog_day - United States

Today, I was asked by my mom if I could have a joint-birthday party with her dog because it would be the dog's "big 1-0." She was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28313

You deserved it

2684

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Westbury

Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45724

You deserved it

6333

Tweet

Share

By maniac11 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31420

You deserved it

6551

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/8/2020 02:02

Heartless

Today, I received a positive Covid-19 test. Despite being largely asymptomatic, the company I work for decided that I've behaved with "gross neglect" by coming to work in an attempt to support the company's ambition, and promptly fired me with no benefits. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1564

You deserved it

1384

Tweet

Share

By pisspantsjob - United States

Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12721

You deserved it

49202

Tweet

Share

By asdfasdf - United States

Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

78775

You deserved it

22476

Tweet

Share

By ev_lyn_aw

Today, I received a company-wide email from my boss, praising a coworker's extra effort at improving our line of business. The coworker's efforts were a direct copy-and-paste of a plan I put together three months ago. No one cared when I gave the presentation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6785

You deserved it

422

Tweet

Share

By DerrickUhl - United States - Napa

Today, I finally turned 21 so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I decided to order a drink. She replied with, "No problem, kiddo." FML

I agree, your life sucks

25704

You deserved it

6890

Tweet

Share

By Baldy - New Zealand

Today, my wife told me that she was leaving me for someone with more hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48504

You deserved it

4750

Tweet

Share

By peachass - Australia - Melbourne

Today at work, a woman decided to use the changing room as a public toilet, to wipe the urine with the clothes she tried on, then leave the mess along with her soiled underwear and a used maxi pad for me to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25788

You deserved it

1279

Tweet

Share

By Ineedit - United States

Not now!

Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27935

You deserved it

2544

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I told a customer to have a nice day. Little did I know it'd make her have an emotional breakdown and nearly cause me to lose my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22562

You deserved it

1378

Tweet

Share

By Nick - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56682

You deserved it

18090

Tweet

Share

By yawning - Australia

Today, I woke up at 3am to go to work. This will be my new routine from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33854

You deserved it

9846

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By sorta_sarcastic | 12

#6052045 - Saturday 30 August 2014 5:15

Serves you right. Always knock first.

By leopardwilliam | 22

#6052048 - Saturday 30 August 2014 5:15

That cannot be unseen

COMMENTS

By sorta_sarcastic | 12

#6052045 - Saturday 30 August 2014 5:15

Serves you right. Always knock first.

Reply

LaColombianita | 26

#6052063 - Saturday 30 August 2014 5:16

Hey they could have been in the living room for all we know.

Reply

lnheritance | 19

#6052203 - Saturday 30 August 2014 8:18

Perhaps they didn't put the traditional hat on the door knob. So FHL.

Reply

MountainGiant87 | 15

#6052242 - Saturday 30 August 2014 10:38

#9 I don't think I want to know

By leopardwilliam | 22

#6052048 - Saturday 30 August 2014 5:15

That cannot be unseen

Reply

StormfrontX33_fml | 24

#6052108 - Saturday 30 August 2014 5:50

Especially, if he was using a pole...

*shudders

Reply

princesspeachxox | 18

#6052128 - Saturday 30 August 2014 6:06

At least he came in early enough to only see that!

Reply

theaaxis | 27

#6052139 - Saturday 30 August 2014 6:26

#20, I believe he supplied his own. ;)

By AvatheAvacodo | 9

#6052050 - Saturday 30 August 2014 5:15

-Bleaches Eyes-

Reply

girI | 20

#6052254 - Saturday 30 August 2014 11:21

But you cannot bleach the mind's eye...

By foxwasalamb | 24

#6052055 - Saturday 30 August 2014 5:16

whatever works for them

Reply

sayyestothedress | 24

#6052369 - Saturday 30 August 2014 15:09

You pic is fucking creepy!

By DontClickOnMe | 28

#6052056 - Saturday 30 August 2014 5:16

Hahaha, hey, maybe you could learn something from him. Next time, knock!

By raisinbam | 13

#6052058 - Saturday 30 August 2014 5:16

At least that's all he was doing

By DarkPoet_fml | 5

#6052059 - Saturday 30 August 2014 5:16

Should of thrown some ones at him and left

Reply

MortenM | 17

#6052771 - Saturday 30 August 2014 23:38

Seems like the best solution. Plus obviously add hints to it all the time when you talk to him

By 23lf | 16

#6052061 - Saturday 30 August 2014 5:16

It's OK to cry now OP

By weveallbeenthere | 30

#6052065 - Saturday 30 August 2014 5:17

you just can't unsee some things.

By Awesomeaxel | 24

#6052068 - Saturday 30 August 2014 5:17

Just honestly say nothing and pretend it didn't happen. It is probably just as awkward for them.

Reply

elcee1987 | 18

#6052220 - Saturday 30 August 2014 9:18

Idk elephants in the room tend to grow over time, not shrink. Might just want to get it into the open. Maybe op can crack a small joke to ease the tension.