Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
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Top comments
lindseylindsey39 0
Hahah I do that all the time.
rukusrazor 0
Eww, stall call.
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Comments (194)
Hazza_69 1
YDI immature.
FTL 0
Who is he? Anyway, being on the phone in the bathroom is not a big deal.
hilaryy_fml 0
I just tell everyone that im going to the toilet. They don't care. It's not like they have to watch or listen. You cant hear it. And i wont describe it.
deadpoetic333 0
haha, you must not have known him or been with him very long. If there's still the need to be all polite and shit (no pun intended) must be so. Ive talked to my girl so much and am so comfortable with her, that i'll straight up tell her i gotta take a piss (oddly after 6 months I have never had to take a crap while on the phone with her) and she'll tell me she has to pee straight up. Once in a while ill be like ahh hold on a second i gotta take a piss, she'll be like uh no jus take one and keep talking.
masterpops 0
**** you. Whiner.
keneke 0
is fml even moderated anymore? the quality of these posts are getting terrible -_-
redbluegreen 41
#121 - I know, right? This is such a stupid FML.
tim0391 0
How did this get even pass moderation?? Not a fml
kewl92 0
well omg it's not that serious. sounds like he's the type who also thinks women don't fart. "ew", what a lame ass
00754chan 0
This works for people who aren't stupid.