Work: Bad timing

Bad timing

By screwedupfuck - 27/03/2015 21:19 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 464

You deserved it 6 083

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 983

You deserved it 25 514

By Anonymous - 20/09/2015 15:23

Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the guy sitting next to me and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 827

You deserved it 12 115

By FartMyLife - 11/08/2016 11:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, the VP of my company stopped by my desk to personally deliver praise on my recent performance. I watched in helpless horror as the noxious fart I had just released slapped him in the face. He was too polite to leave but gagged through his entire speech. If farts can kill careers... FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 955

You deserved it 2 165

He who smelled it…

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 15:08 - United States - Venus

Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 060

You deserved it 2 708

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 20:38 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 885

You deserved it 5 186

By Anonymous - 23/04/2016 09:14 - United States - Redlands

Today, the CEO of my company wanted to meet with me. I was excited until I found out she just wanted to bitch me out and personally fire me. Later on, I found out my boss had totally shafted me and blamed the failure of a big project on me instead of admitting it was all his fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 172

You deserved it 1 263

By missmcfarty - 01/04/2016 01:42 - Australia - Townsville

Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name, when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 353

You deserved it 2 696

Sorry, I…

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 14:33 - United States - Brownwood

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 837

You deserved it 6 956

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 640

It's a coup!

By everythingWASperfect - 13/11/2010 14:43 - Canada

Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 286

You deserved it 4 377

Nordrag 26

Saturday 28 March 2015 8:25

If I were in that room I'm not sure I would have been able to contain my laughter. Farts in tense situations are always funny.

hkhan24 23

Saturday 28 March 2015 8:31

you were probably not gonna get a promotion anyway if your profits are that poor..

Comments

Nordrag 26

Saturday 28 March 2015 8:25

If I were in that room I'm not sure I would have been able to contain my laughter. Farts in tense situations are always funny.

spatula232 25

Saturday 28 March 2015 8:29

OP blew that one

Bigsam1514 14

Saturday 28 March 2015 18:56

Out the ass

Awesomeironman2 15

Wednesday 4 November 2015 16:40

*Spongebob narrator voice* Several bad puns later...

hkhan24 23

Saturday 28 March 2015 8:31

you were probably not gonna get a promotion anyway if your profits are that poor..

Timpa70 18

Saturday 28 March 2015 8:32

Your boss needs to let some farts out.

babe7260 30

Saturday 28 March 2015 8:33

i was told that the average person passes gas around 17 times a day, pretty sad if you lose out on a promotion because of a natural fluff, that happens to everyone on the planet :-(

Brandi_Faith 33

Saturday 28 March 2015 11:08

I completely agree. Op, maybe wait a day or two until your boss calms down a bit, then explain to him that you weren't feeling great and in no way was trying to be funny. Tell him you physically couldn't hold it in any longer, as much as you tried. Also tell him that you plan on working on your profits and would still like to be considered for any promotion that becomes available. Then work your butt off and prove to him that you're the best guy for any promotion that comes up. Good luck Op!