Miscellaneous: Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom...

By June - 19/05/2009 21:51 - Canada

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 623

You deserved it 74 770

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By whyme27 - 06/06/2012 01:19 - United States - South Bend

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 558

You deserved it 4 355

By me - 08/06/2012 14:00 - United States - Carthage

Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 474

You deserved it 2 709

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 634

You deserved it 9 112

By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 929

You deserved it 8 877

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 563

You deserved it 44 710

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 635

You deserved it 2 601

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 703

You deserved it 2 757

Shock and awe

By Embarassed Girl - 14/07/2022 02:00

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 761

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 763

You deserved it 40 904

Dump the dump

By lily anne - 30/01/2022 02:00

Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 431

You deserved it 118

lindseylindsey39 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 2:11

Hahah I do that all the time.

rukusrazor 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 2:12

Eww, stall call.

Comments

LisieLise 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 17:47

hahaha. you could have told him you were just sitting on the toilet without actually using it, cos you wanted privacy but obviously that failed cos your mum keeps knocking. and turn it into a joke. see? YDI

neurorot 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 18:24

eww... it's really nasty to be on the phone while you do your business. hit the mute button, leave the phone outside and do your thing. gross.

Rawrrr14 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 18:53

ever heard of the 'mute' button?

makjon86 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 18:53

FAKE!!!!!!!!! Everyone knows girls don't poop.

brighteyes626 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:50

not an FML. idk how this one got through. who is "he?"

SnIpEr_fml 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 21:51

YDI. I also didn't like how crappy this post w as. You just said him and he. not boyfriend. This one sucks

coffeennicotine 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 22:25

Okay, can I just say I hate when people don't specify who they're talking about. I agree with #141, YDI and you suck at story telling

heywood 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 22:53

There are actually people out there who like the sound of someone pissing and crapping in the background of their phone conversations? Wtf? Sickos. Don't pull the "normal bodily function" BS either- no one rips huge farts in the middle of conversations with the opposite sex.