Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
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Top comments
lindseylindsey39 0
Hahah I do that all the time.
rukusrazor 0
Eww, stall call.
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Comments (194)
csigabajnok 0
So what? If he intends to be with you, he has to accept that you go to the bathroom once in a while.
milkradio 0
Gross. I hate when people I'm on the phone with say "HANG ON, I'M JUST GONNA PEE" and bring the ******* phone in with them. Just call me back in a few minutes, I don't need to hear you on the toilet...
jSOPURE 3
I myself don't mind the sound of tinkling. :)
xOpheliacx 0
Eh, shit happens. It's not really an FML. And if he's a goober enough to say 'eww' then who cares?
Go_Home 0
I don't understand why people use the bathroom while on the phone. It's just inappropriate.
Inoku 0
I hate having to talk to people while I'm in the bathroom. I call it my "shitter silence" rule (or "potty peace" in front of my younger relatives). If you talk to me while I'm in the bathroom, I won't respond until I exit the room. Obviously, this means I would never, EVER take my phone into the bathroom with me. If I were the OP's male-counterpart-of-unspecified-nature, I would've told her I'd call her back when she wasn't excreting waste. Ugh. That's just rude.
aback 5
Sounds like he's not desperate enough to talk to somebody when they're taking a dump.
123sploosh 0
haah that's funny, i can see that happening to me. but its totally natural you people are wack
Truffles 0
I do this allll the time when I'm on the phone with my boyfriend.. it use to embarrass the HELL out of me though, so I'd just mute it or tell him I'd be right back. Well, going pee that is. If one of us has to take a crap or something, we just say give me a few minutes or call you back in a bit. Don't do that type of stuff if you aren't comfortable around the person enough to actually be a human :) and #54 pretty much just made my day haha
lillyass 0
you can always tell when someone is talking to you from the stall.