Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
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Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
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Top comments
lindseylindsey39 0
Hahah I do that all the time.
rukusrazor 0
Eww, stall call.
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Comments (194)
IEatCrayons 0
#109- haaaaaaha. you should have played it off.
dlogan93 0
terrible story. poorly told. YDI BITCH.
crayons_fml 0
what? this doesn't make sense.
classicalteen 0
LOL
FreakOnaLeash 0
This is NOT a ******* FML. I am so pissed I couldn't get MY FML put on here,but this ***** did?? ******* unfair!!!!!
CurdledMilk 0
Ha ha. I have this friend that's always going to the bathroom when I'm talking to him on the phone. He's always like: "Just so you know, I'm takin' a piss; it's not a ******' waterfall, okay?" Lmfao. You should do that. >.
walk_in_memphis 0
ahahahaha awww
hahayou12345 0
Hahaha I do that sometimes. Big deal. It's just going to the loo, I don't get why people are so disgusted about it.
Hola468 0
It's true that girls don't poop. Our insides are made of glitter and rainbows and other pretty things.
mikeloyst 0
lol i do this every day. just got off the phone with my boss actually. I had some noises too but i just covered them up peter griffin style (cough when you fart) seriously tho, you could have recovered and said "Im not actually on the toilet i just told her that to shut her up"