By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 750
You deserved it 40 857

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Misaki18 17

Was it a boy or a girl?

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Rule of life #562...Always make sure you're alone before you act like a complete weirdo.

Comments

Are you bonos mom? *hopes someone gets my South Park reference*

I got it. :)

Donnakar 20

Love it :)

Bob_Mooky 9

Lol I love that episode. I didn't expect Bono to actually BE the biggest crap O_O

Haha, one of my favorite episodes. :) OP, it sucks that your mom was there to hear you. I know we've all done random shit when we think no one is around, and it's so embarrassing to get caught. FYL, you just did something that's human nature, no worries. :)

So... Did she scare the shit out if you then?

Misaki18 17

Was it a boy or a girl?

OP should have said "no, but you can help me come up with a name!"

"It's a bit early to start imposing roles on it."

Little4Bear 10

OP gave birth to a piece of shit.

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Rule of life #562...Always make sure you're alone before you act like a complete weirdo.

Shouldn't that be rule number one?

I dont think there should be any rules to life. If you want to make noises while pushing out your turd baby from your asshole, you have my full support

There's one for the story book.

Mister_Triangle 21

And the moral of the story? Slow and steady wins the... Wait, I fucked that up.

Mister_Triangle 21

And the moral of the story? Slow and steady wins the... Wait, I fucked that up.

A mom that cares aww great grandchildren story later on

33- Huh. A double post. Been a while since I've seen one of you.

"Yes, your first grandchild has no face! Or arms or legs! Hurry! What do I do??" That oughta do it.

Little4Bear 10

"But it has your eyes!"

theBadGuy37 9

Congratulations!

I really want to know if you're male, that will make this so much funnier.

CptnHowdyy 13

Of course OP is a male. We don't poop.

You must be able to entertain yourself for hours lol

Bob_Mooky 9

Jeezus, don't push too hard. You'll give yourself a hemorrhoid.

martin8337 35

Or tear a spincter.

Take me too the hospital lady, gonna poo out a baby, pow pow pow! Have a sandwich, make a baby, have a pizza a make another three!

For anyone who misses the reference, a)you suck and b) look up weebl - babies :D

Or you just failed at being funny