FML : Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let...

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By ugh / Tuesday 3 September 2013 23:53 / United States - Lancaster

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Top comments

By Misaki18 | 17

#5658086 - Wednesday 4 September 2013 9:27

Was it a boy or a girl?

By HeyHeyFishFillet | 34

#5658087 - Wednesday 4 September 2013 9:29

Rule of life #562...Always make sure you're alone before you act like a complete weirdo.

Comments

By Jezzikah | 11

#5658081 - Wednesday 4 September 2013 9:27

Are you bonos mom? *hopes someone gets my South Park reference*

Rianokami | 22

#5658102 - Wednesday 4 September 2013 9:37

I got it. :)

Donnakar | 20

#5658115 - Wednesday 4 September 2013 9:43

Love it :)

Bob_Mooky | 9

#5658133 - Wednesday 4 September 2013 9:58

Lol I love that episode. I didn't expect Bono to actually BE the biggest crap O_O

Dreamcatcher1229 | 17

#5658143 - Wednesday 4 September 2013 10:12

Haha, one of my favorite episodes. :) OP, it sucks that your mom was there to hear you. I know we've all done random shit when we think no one is around, and it's so embarrassing to get caught. FYL, you just did something that's human nature, no worries. :)

christyxbee | 15

#5664138 - Sunday 8 September 2013 11:08

So... Did she scare the shit out if you then?

By Misaki18 | 17

#5658086 - Wednesday 4 September 2013 9:27

Was it a boy or a girl?

naznafeathers | 22

#5658434 - Wednesday 4 September 2013 15:23

OP should have said "no, but you can help me come up with a name!"

Calingaladha | 21

#5658971 - Wednesday 4 September 2013 22:00

"It's a bit early to start imposing roles on it."

Little4Bear | 10

#5659658 - Thursday 5 September 2013 8:10

OP gave birth to a piece of shit.

By HeyHeyFishFillet | 34

#5658087 - Wednesday 4 September 2013 9:29

Rule of life #562...Always make sure you're alone before you act like a complete weirdo.

cna1216 | 15

#5659270 - Thursday 5 September 2013 1:28

Shouldn't that be rule number one?

2116803 | 10

#5659493 - Thursday 5 September 2013 5:03

I dont think there should be any rules to life. If you want to make noises while pushing out your turd baby from your asshole, you have my full support