By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 768
You deserved it 40 928
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Top comments

Misaki18 17

Was it a boy or a girl?

293 1
HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Rule of life #562...Always make sure you're alone before you act like a complete weirdo.

267 1

Comments

Jezzikah 11

Are you bonos mom? *hopes someone gets my South Park reference*

139 11
Bob_Mooky 9

Lol I love that episode. I didn't expect Bono to actually BE the biggest crap O_O

15 3
Dreamcatcher1229 17

Haha, one of my favorite episodes. :) OP, it sucks that your mom was there to hear you. I know we've all done random shit when we think no one is around, and it's so embarrassing to get caught. FYL, you just did something that's human nature, no worries. :)

16 2
christyxbee 15

So... Did she scare the shit out if you then?

2 0
Misaki18 17

Was it a boy or a girl?

293 1
naznafeathers 22

OP should have said "no, but you can help me come up with a name!"

29 2
Calingaladha 21

"It's a bit early to start imposing roles on it."

9 1
Little4Bear 10

OP gave birth to a piece of shit.

10 0
HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Rule of life #562...Always make sure you're alone before you act like a complete weirdo.

267 1
2116803 10

I dont think there should be any rules to life. If you want to make noises while pushing out your turd baby from your asshole, you have my full support

14 3
Mister_Triangle 21

And the moral of the story? Slow and steady wins the... Wait, I ****** that up.

16 5
Mister_Triangle 21

And the moral of the story? Slow and steady wins the... Wait, I ****** that up.

3 21
ifavela89 13

A mom that cares aww great grandchildren story later on

0 9
JtPv 14

33- Huh. A double post. Been a while since I've seen one of you.

0 13
starile 19

"Yes, your first grandchild has no face! Or arms or legs! Hurry! What do I do??" That oughta do it.

65 0
Little4Bear 10

"But it has your eyes!"

3 1
IvyOswin 17

I really want to know if you're male, that will make this so much funnier.

91 2
CptnHowdyy 13

Of course OP is a male. We don't poop.

35 0
tyler384 6

You must be able to entertain yourself for hours lol

27 0
Bob_Mooky 9

Jeezus, don't push too hard. You'll give yourself a hemorrhoid.

47 1
martin8337 35

Or tear a spincter.

1 4
Fluffydemise 18

Take me too the hospital lady, gonna poo out a baby, pow pow pow! Have a sandwich, make a baby, have a pizza a make another three!

4 46
Fluffydemise 18

For anyone who misses the reference, a)you suck and b) look up weebl - babies :D

1 32